My husband and I lost our first yesterday at 8 weeks. Had had our first OBGYN visit on Monday and everything seemed okay, Dr even told me I may be farther along than that based on my uterus size. I had started a little spotting (brown) before our Monday appointment so Dr. scheduled our 1st ultrasound on Tuesday. They wouldn't let my husband back with me but I asked if he could see the pictures. The technician responded coldly "only if I find anything to see." Having no luck she tried a trans-vag ultrasound. I read worry in her face and I asked her what was wrong. She left the probe in and went to get another technician for a second opinion. Apparently they were measuring less than 6 weeks of growth.
When they let my husband into the room she pointed out the yolk sac and our "little bean" with a flickering heartbeat. But that was all we heard.
The next day I called my Dr's office to see if they had the results and I explained my concern over the technician's worry. A nurse called me back and left a message saying the Dr signed off on the pictures and everything was okay.
Later that afternoon I got a call from my Dr. saying she was concerned about what the ultrasound had shown and that my pregnancy was "in limbo." She explained that we would have another ultrasound next week to see if the heartbeat (which was very low) had strengthened and if there were signs of more growth. The alternative she said was that I could miscarry, and if I had bright red blood and period-like cramps to call her office and they'd help.
My husband and I had a terrible night of worry but we tried our best to stay positive. Wednesday we went to work and I had cramps all day. Still I tried to stay positive, but by 12:30, bright red blood...
I called my Dr's office and they got me an emergency ultrasound. Fortunately this technician was much kinder than the last. While I was voiding my bladder inbetween the regular ultrasound and the trans-vag, tablespoons worth of blood, red and brown, big clots. While I was cleaning up I saw a round yellow-clear sac with a small red clot attached to it. I called my husband into the bathroom "it's our baby" I said "I'm holding our baby."
At the Dr's office later that day we got the news confirmed. She tried to assure me it's most likely a chromosomal issue, but of course I still feel on some level responsibile although I know there was nothing I did wrong. It was our first and we had tried for over a year for our precious "little bean." We had just told our families a week before and they were over the moon excited for us. It seems like the peak of our joy before is matched by the depth of sorrow we feel now. Our families mean well but my husband and I barely know what to say to each other let alone anyone else. I joined this forum so I can get advice and comfort from other women who have gone through this. How do I start to move on? I was considering a charm necklace with a "little bean" on it but I don't know if that's morbid or forces me to live in the past too much. I just don't want to forget our first...
~ Jackie
When they let my husband into the room she pointed out the yolk sac and our "little bean" with a flickering heartbeat. But that was all we heard.
The next day I called my Dr's office to see if they had the results and I explained my concern over the technician's worry. A nurse called me back and left a message saying the Dr signed off on the pictures and everything was okay.
Later that afternoon I got a call from my Dr. saying she was concerned about what the ultrasound had shown and that my pregnancy was "in limbo." She explained that we would have another ultrasound next week to see if the heartbeat (which was very low) had strengthened and if there were signs of more growth. The alternative she said was that I could miscarry, and if I had bright red blood and period-like cramps to call her office and they'd help.
My husband and I had a terrible night of worry but we tried our best to stay positive. Wednesday we went to work and I had cramps all day. Still I tried to stay positive, but by 12:30, bright red blood...
I called my Dr's office and they got me an emergency ultrasound. Fortunately this technician was much kinder than the last. While I was voiding my bladder inbetween the regular ultrasound and the trans-vag, tablespoons worth of blood, red and brown, big clots. While I was cleaning up I saw a round yellow-clear sac with a small red clot attached to it. I called my husband into the bathroom "it's our baby" I said "I'm holding our baby."
At the Dr's office later that day we got the news confirmed. She tried to assure me it's most likely a chromosomal issue, but of course I still feel on some level responsibile although I know there was nothing I did wrong. It was our first and we had tried for over a year for our precious "little bean." We had just told our families a week before and they were over the moon excited for us. It seems like the peak of our joy before is matched by the depth of sorrow we feel now. Our families mean well but my husband and I barely know what to say to each other let alone anyone else. I joined this forum so I can get advice and comfort from other women who have gone through this. How do I start to move on? I was considering a charm necklace with a "little bean" on it but I don't know if that's morbid or forces me to live in the past too much. I just don't want to forget our first...
~ Jackie
