heartbroken that i need to choose bottle feeding

[vegazbaby]

its been 12 days now and my little guy just wont latch on, sometimes im lucky and he will feed, but hes losing weight not gaining, and im an emotional wreck

im fine with moving to formula full time but every time i say to myslef thats it no more pumping or feeding him i get so upset, its like grief

will this pass, everytime he goes near my boobs or i smell my milk i just feel so sad that its over but i cant cope with all this worry anymore

 

[MummyMana]

6 months later I still feel sad that I couldn't breastfeed, everyone says I was just doing the best thing for my baby and in a way I know that's true, it would've been selfish for me to have kept trying even though she was getting distressed and her blood sugar was dropping, but certain things make it hard to let go of it (one midwife said "don't be lazy" when after 2 days of trying and a 5 hour straight session of JUST trying to get her to latch I finally asked for formula).

But it does get easier it takes time but it gradually gets less and less somethings still get me upset about it (especially the disclaimer on formula websites that says "if you choose to use formula" - for some of us it is not a choice!) But I don't feel nearly as bad as I did for the few Weeks after having her

Just remember you're doing the best for your baby, he needs good to grow healthy and he doesn't care where it comes from could you maybe do just one bf at night so you don't have to let go completely? Then if he doesn't latch or doesn't take much finish with a bottle

Good luck

 

[mac1979]

I was in the same situation, I wasn't producing and he would fall asleep after being latched for a minute. You are doing what is best for you and baby. You tried and that is the important part.

 

[grace10209]

Have you tried the nipple shield thing? I know I could feed without it but its totally saving me!!! You need to try it

 

[ThunderPearls]

I second trying a nippleshield, it could help with the latching issues. If you can, try a few different brands/sizes/shapes as some work better than others for different people/babies.

Best of luck to you!

I struggled witj BF at the start and we stopped gor a few weeks but now I have relactated and relatched him and am making good progress!

 

[ladybrock]

My little man wouldnt latch! Tried all day/night in hospital.
I expressed and gave him that for a couple days but i gave him formula as he needs his grub!
In 5 days he gained 2oz
Your just doing whats best! X

 

[babyhopes2010]

my lo wont latch he is a week old today

iv ordered a hospital pump so i can see if i can give him as much breast milk as i make

 

[mercedybear]

my milk still hasnt come in, so sad. LO had a bottle in the nursery as she was born by emergency c-section. I had difficulty trying to bf her in the hospital ( 20 people in and out of my room all day) and was in pain/recovering. Its not what I planned but she gets frustrated as no milk is coming out. I can pump very little

 

[Butterfly89]

I'm really 50/50 with this issue myself too. I support freedom of choice for what's best for each mama and baby... but here is my experience...

I dragged myself through 3 weeks of trying in the beginning and had to stop too as my son has a severe tongue tie and can't latch so my supply just got so low and never really came in. The most I ever could get was like 3oz maybe. So I gave in and went to formula. I'm not devaluing breast milk or saying all the work isn't worth it, but it's not a horrible thing to formula feed though all the bottle washing is time consuming too. It's about equal I think to pumping.

My little guy is the healthiest baby... people always comment on his nice skin, hair, and the fact that he is big. Not fat though, lol. Just strong for his age and long. Honestly, I know breast milk is wonderful for antibodies and stuff, but it doesn't mean that your baby will be sick or unhealthy if you give them formula.

Though I will be honest, I did have regrets so lately I've been trying to relactate with a pump (7 months later) but I'm remembering why it was so impossible lol. Pumping every 2-3 hours with a baby... uhm... yeah, hard lol. And with a newborn? Even harder. I don't know if it will work out for me but I feel it's worth one more try.

I would honestly try everything first. I wish I had known more before I quit. Like nipple shields, herbal tea, lactation consultant, etc. Also I just saw a good video about hand expressing with a special method that is supposedly almost as good as a hospital grade pump... though slower. If you will really regret stopping, I would say keep trying for a while until you feel like you've tried everything. It supposedly gets easier around the 2 month mark.

But if you really can't, relactation is something to consider in the future, especially if your baby is 4 months or under. You can take a break if you absolutely have to. Though it's way harder that way. It does usually require a prescription or herbs which both do have some side effects, pumping every 2-3 hours day and night with a very good pump (I rented one), and can take a month for results.

And if you do stop and don't go back to it, don't let other people or mama guilt bring you down. Sometimes it's more important to have a bit more energy and time to spend with your LO to cuddle and play. I'm kinda figuring that out which cost me $80 (to rent the pump) lol. But I'm gonna try for another week and see how it goes.

 

[iluvmyfamily]

Try not to feel like this. You're doing all you can do and the MAIN important thing is that he's still eating. Formula isn't bad whatsoever. I have 5 and all my kids are formula-fed and extremely healthy and intelligent. I know they say breast is best and maybe for some people it's the way to go but for me it just wasn't even a thought. But that's okay too. You're doing what you can and that's all that matters.

 

[laila 44]

My little girl never latched no matter what so I exclusively pumped for an entire month! I had a crazy over supply of milk. I got fed up and stopped as pumping became very annoying. You can try pumping your milk Hun it's the same thing!

 

[sillysapling]

I knew I wouldn't be able to exclusively breastfeed before we even started trying- and I still mourn. One thing that didn't help is that LO did NOT do well on the first few formulas we tried. When sleep deprived and overwhelmed, we had some problems with formula- there are still days we leave it at home, and it all comes flooding back. I hated myself, I felt like I was selfish and wrong for having a baby despite knowing I couldn't EBF.

As LO does better, it's easier. When you have a happy, healthy baby- it's easy to ignore the "breast is best" propaganda and know that you did the best for your baby.

I'm hoping that once LO is older and off formula, and I can see that he's happy and healthy and it didn't destroy him, it'll be easier for me to accept this for the next baby.