Hello all.

[Squidge]

I'm new here so thought i'd just say a quick hello. Also, i'm after some advice please.

Me & my darling hubby-to-be have been wanting to have a baby for a good few months now but i find myself worrying about everything!! I've had 2 miscarriages before so i'm scared i'll have a 3rd. I'm also scared that we won't have enough money to pay for the baby, or house bills etc and to top it all off, I'm also quite worried about what my family will think....even though 2 of my brothers already have kids themselves!!!

Please give me a bit of advice and tell me to stop being so stupid, LOL. It really is starting to get me down now.

xxx

 

[CarrieB]

Oh hun, you're not being stupid. I think most women want to feel absolutely secure financially and emotionally before TTC. But you know, no-one can say for sure what's around the corner. For every bad thing that you can think of that could happen (another miscarriage, not having enough money) there's an equal chance that the complete opposite could happen (a perfectly healthy pg, falling pg after just the right amount of months to have built up some savings). I was pretty concerned about money too, especially the last couple of weeks cos we've had an unexpected need to dip substantially into our savings. It completely threw me and I was ready to wait a month or two before TTC. But then I thought, you know what, we've been trying since Aug and if I'd fallen then we'd just have to deal with it, and we would probably have found a way around having a bit less money. It's important to be sensible but you really can't stop yourself living your life based on what ifs. You know very often the things we fear the most are the things that end up never happening. When I look back over the last few years the bad stuff that I thought might happen didn't, and the bad stuff that did, that we didn't expect, we dealt with with barely a second thought.

You do need to feel ready to have a child before TTC, but please don't let fear of the unknown put you off. You've been strong enough to deal with what's happened in the past, I'm sure you're strong enough to deal with whatever else may happen.

As for your family I don't doubt they'd be delighted and stand by you all the way, but you know if they don't it doesn't mean that what you're doing isn't right. Nobody knows what you are your DH are ready for better than your do.

Hope to see you moving over to the TTC forum soon xx