Hello Everyone....

[Moulder86]

Well sadly I haven't had time to come on here and I haven't posted for months!!! How are you all? And I see I missed some of you having your lil bundles of joy.

Well I'm now in my own place just myself and Max, it's hard there's no denying that I'm just hoping it gets easier. It's really lonely I'm half hour away from my family out in the middle of nowhere but they are trying to make me feel better as and when they can. And I have support from one of my friends and her partner.

Rich is being a moron, after about 3 months of not seeing his son he started to and finally got his name on birth cert. After a few weeks of regular contact it went a bit pete tong. I now only live a walk away from where he works 2 days a week and have been here for the past month but have I seen him....once when he dropped off the cot his parents brought. And that ended up in my sister asking him to leave.

It was agreed his gf would not be involved with Max for a lil while, he's been with her about 7 months. I've said no as Max barely knows his father let alone having some other woman in his life. Well he keeps telling me she's not going anywhere (which I don't believe) and that it's time for her to be there when he sees Max now. I've said no which has pretty much meant he hasn't been round because he doesn't want to upset her.

I asked him to come around for an hour on Christmas day to see Max and have a few pics he agreed, then the friday before he tells me he's not coming. He's spending the day with her and her kids doesn't want to upset anyone or tred on anyones toes by coming here for an hour. He wasn't seeing his other son till boxing day so didn't see the problem with not seeing Max christmas day. I told him I don't care about what other people have said, I don't care what other people are doing it's Max's first Christmas I would like him here. His reponse was I'll see him over the Christmas period it doesn't matter what day it is he won't know the difference.

Needless to say he didn't come. His family had sent gifts and cards but they all see it as he's trying to make an effort it's now my fault he's not seeing him because I don't want her around.

I'm tempted to just say f**k you, if Max wants to know you when he's older fine but I don't want you in his life and messing it up. But then I don't want Max hating me for keeping his dad out of his life. And then how do I explain to him that he see's his brother and his daddy see's his brother but he doesn't see his daddy.

Anyway any input on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

I'm hoping now things are going to settle down and I'll get time to catch up on things I've missed and spend more time here again.



xxx

 

[Naya69]

hi iam new to this place but i think your right wht disgusts me is that he can spend the christmas with his gf and her kids and not see his son on his first christmas for just an hour its not much to ask. my babies dad asked if it was ok not to buy my son a crimbo present because he was skint and then an hour later went to buy a bottle of vodka and then he had the cheek to ask me to buy josh a present saying off his daddy i dont think so.

and as for his gf i wouldnt like her in my sons life whilst hes so young might confuse him keep ya chin up chick at least u know who max will love best xxx

 

[Moulder86]

Thanx Naya, they're just morons really aren't they. Max didn't get a present either he's decided to pay his parents for half the cot because he cldn't afford to get him a present. If you ask me I think thats just an easy way out!!!

xx

 

[kayjor04]

Well sadly I haven't had time to come on here and I haven't posted for months!!! How are you all? And I see I missed some of you having your lil bundles of joy.

Well I'm now in my own place just myself and Max, it's hard there's no denying that I'm just hoping it gets easier. It's really lonely I'm half hour away from my family out in the middle of nowhere but they are trying to make me feel better as and when they can. And I have support from one of my friends and her partner.

Rich is being a moron, after about 3 months of not seeing his son he started to and finally got his name on birth cert. After a few weeks of regular contact it went a bit pete tong. I now only live a walk away from where he works 2 days a week and have been here for the past month but have I seen him....once when he dropped off the cot his parents brought. And that ended up in my sister asking him to leave.

It was agreed his gf would not be involved with Max for a lil while, he's been with her about 7 months. I've said no as Max barely knows his father let alone having some other woman in his life. Well he keeps telling me she's not going anywhere (which I don't believe) and that it's time for her to be there when he sees Max now. I've said no which has pretty much meant he hasn't been round because he doesn't want to upset her.

I asked him to come around for an hour on Christmas day to see Max and have a few pics he agreed, then the friday before he tells me he's not coming. He's spending the day with her and her kids doesn't want to upset anyone or tred on anyones toes by coming here for an hour. He wasn't seeing his other son till boxing day so didn't see the problem with not seeing Max christmas day. I told him I don't care about what other people have said, I don't care what other people are doing it's Max's first Christmas I would like him here. His reponse was I'll see him over the Christmas period it doesn't matter what day it is he won't know the difference.

Needless to say he didn't come. His family had sent gifts and cards but they all see it as he's trying to make an effort it's now my fault he's not seeing him because I don't want her around.

I'm tempted to just say f**k you, if Max wants to know you when he's older fine but I don't want you in his life and messing it up. But then I don't want Max hating me for keeping his dad out of his life. And then how do I explain to him that he see's his brother and his daddy see's his brother but he doesn't see his daddy.

Anyway any input on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

I'm hoping now things are going to settle down and I'll get time to catch up on things I've missed and spend more time here again.



xxx

Hey there! So im kinda new here i've been on for a bit, but probably not the last time you were here...
I didnt want to read and run.. But i'm not really sure what to say!
I kicked Jordyns father out of our life, because he refused to get along with me... last i heard he moved across the country to avoid his support papers.
I wouldnt be comfortable with a girlfriend around my babe either... if they were married... maybe but a girlfriend? that doesnt sit well with me.
Just rememer your little boy will never hate you... as long as you explain everything to him when he gets older. and give him the choice of getting in contact with his father if he chooses when hes older...
Sorry to hear your going thru a rough patch... chin up!

 

[Moulder86]

That's the thing I'll never bad mouth his dad or stop him for seeing him when he's old enough to decide for himself but I don't know if I sound selfish telling him it's my way or not at all? xx

 

[kayjor04]

thats basically what i said. My way or no way at all...
Because he asked for a paternity test, (which i wasnt concerned with cause there was never any question about her being his) I told him you want it, you pay for it. then he stated saying he wanted full custody, and he was going to do everything he could to make me look like a horrible mum... So i finally said "if you cant do this in a civil adult like manner, we're not doing it all" And i wouldnt look back now if i had the chance. Just remember, your the one doing all the work... So your the one who needs her sanity in tact.

 

[brownhairedmom]

Oh no. I'm so sorry he hasn't smartened up! We both started out here in the Single Parents part when it opened and I'm sorry that neither one of us is in better situations with our exs. Its so sad the way he's getting on. He can't be going in and out. He needs to make up his mind what it is he's going to do so that he doesn't confuse Max when he gets older! He may ask, but in the end its going to be you he thanks for giving him the great life that he has and bringing him up right. I'm of the belief that either they're there or they're not and they can't pick and choose!

 

[Moulder86]

Rae your lil angle is so cute, well done on such a beautiful lil girl. I'm sorry to hear that things haven't changed but from posts I've read you're doing a great job. I also believe that if he's going to be in his life he needs to be IN his life not picking n choosing. He's said he wants to see his son and I said you can come round see him and we'll talk. If he's persistant in her being involved now then that's it he can sod off, I think it's time to say it's my way or not at all I just hope Max understands that I don't what I believed was best for him. I won't stop him finding him when he's older if that's wat he wants.

 

[Lucy&Pard]

Hmm surely his number one priority should be his children as any parents should. If it was me I would make no effort and step away totally. Dont call him to tell him how max is doing dont ask him to see him etc just leave all the balls in his court. If you keep asking him to see him then the resposibility isnt his. With regards to his new girlfriend. I would say NO! too but this is so hard as you are kind of standing in the way. He needs to see Max on your terms for a bit I think!

 

[Moulder86]

Nope you would think so but thats not the case. I live two seconds away from one of his jobs he was supposed to come round tonight after work but didn't n didn't bother telling me he wasn't. the excuse he's given for this before is because he doesn't want to get stuck in traffic on the way home, surely that should be irrelevant (sp?) when it comes to spending time with his 5 month old baby!!!! he makes me so f*ckin angry.

 

[Serene123]

It makes me SO angry that Rich gets to be Caitlyn's dad when he does nothing for her. It also makes me SO angry that she's going to love him the same even though I have to work the hardest. My biggest fear is Rich meeting someone else and getting married and them having family photos with Caitlyn in. It will kill me inside. That said, my main want is for her to be happy, and even if he doesn't make me happy, I'm sure he will make her happy. If not, she doesn't have to see him if she doesn't want to. He can't force her. We'll see what happens.

Just remember, for every low we have to deal with alone, there's a great step that we whitness alone, and they miss!