Hello, new here! 20yrs old.

[xLeeBeex]

Hello everyone i'm new here,

I'm 20, I live with my boyfriend and we've been together for nearly three years. He is the best man in the world, I couldn't have asked for a better fella, he is amazing.

I'm currently at uni, but for the last... well, few years really I have been feeling so so broody. It doesn't help that friends and cousins are having babies all around me! I would absolutely love to have a baby with my man, but that's not gonna happen yet. He feels he isn't ready, which is fair enough but until he is, what do I do? I can't stop thinking about us having a baby, I want me and him to share the amazing experience of bringing up a child together, he would make an absolutely brilliant dad and I can't wait to be a mum. I just want to have everything with him, I don't wanna wait another ten years!

I know it probably isn't the best time to have a baby, being as i'll be going into my second year at uni in october, and we only rent our home, but I feel so ready, i'm gettin all choked up just writing this message, how sad is that! I know we'd cope though, i'm only actually at uni 3 days a week and only have lectures that are 3 hours long.

Anyway sorry for the extra long message, I just wanted to talk some other people if anyone replies.

Hope everyone is good

Lee
xx

 

[tbuns]

Welcome Lee!!

I'm new here too and sort of in your boat as well (only I am 29) - In school, renting and my OH isn't ready... feel like wringing their necks!!! lol!

I'm sorry you're frustrated, but this is a good place to vent... you're in good company!

 

[jen_0709]

Hi ladies,

Totally feel your frustrations! I have just posted a new thread, WTT after a miscarriage and basically although I really want to try very soon, my DH wants to wait until this time next year.

You just can't explain those womanly needs can you??

And yes, why does suddenly everyone seem to be pregnant around you? TV, women on the street??

I suppose I sound really ungrateful - We have a son who is 18 mths old who is our world, and has been our strength through my miscarriage, but I am desperate to give him a brother or sister, he would be a fabulous big brother.

I'm 24 and from Northamptonshire.

Hope we can keep in touch to help each other through our waiting!

Jen x

 

[xLeeBeex]

You definately can't explain those womanly needs, OH said to be 'why do you want a baby now?'.... I just couldn't explain it properly, I said that I had to have a baby, i just have to be a mum. And he asked why do I have to.... I just do was my answer, but i have to be a mum because it's in me, i'm not doing a very good job of explaining it!

Is it baby season or something??? In asda just now I saw three pregnant women, everyone on TV is pregnant too, two of my friends just had babies. Altho I'll get to see my cousins baby soon, haven't seen her for a few months so i'm pretty excited about that.

I just want one of our own

Would love to keep in touch with you
xx

 

[Damita]

Hey and welcome :wave: I'm currently in my 2nd year of uni too, just gearing up for the exams.. arugh!

 

[xLeeBeex]

2nd year? What are you studying?

Is that why you're WTT?

xx

 

[xLeeBeex]

Im feeling a little down at the mo, my OH has been away since sunday for work, and I miss him so much and it's like i'm extra broody now, because while he's been away its made me realise even more how good we are togther and I want him back home now! I'm rubbish without him lol I didn't even make myself dinner yesterday because I didn't see the point on my own!

xx

 

[amy_2]

Hi Lee,

I know how you feel. I'm a little older, I'm (almost) 23 now, but still at uni for the next few months. I have no career yet, and no savings. But I would love to have a baby. My parents are strongly against me having a baby, they say I should build a career first. But I know what it's like to feel overwhelmed by wanting a baby. And it's true that the longer you leave it, the less chance you have of ever reproducing, people get fertility issues crop up as they get older, and any one of us could get sick and die at any stage having never had a baby. So that's why women are hardwired to want to reproduce asap, because those that do pass on their 'broody' genes to the next generation, and we are alive today because our parents wanted a baby badly enough to go out and TTC before time ran out. It's hard today with women expected to go to uni and build a career all before having a baby. Society is on the wrong timeline for many young women, but that's not your fault, and I say, if you want a baby then have one. I know for me that having a family, and time for friends/family is much more important than a career or money and materialistic possesions. Whatever your choice, goodluck

 

[BButterflies]

Hi Lee

I am in a very similar position to you, I am almost 20 and just finishing my second year of uni. I want to start a family reallly badly, I thought I was pregnant this cycle (got a faint line on a pregnancy test but it was an evap) and cried a lot when it turned out i wasn't which I didn't expect to do! I also notice every baby and pregnant lady I see, and there are a lot of them!!!

My OH is very understanding though, he knows how much having a family means to me and I think I am rubbing off on him even though I don't pressure him!

Now isn't the right time for us to have a child, it will just be 1 year until we graduate then we can start saving for a family but until then I think we will just have to learn to live with our feelings of broodiness! Your 2 years left at uni will fly by I am sure, and then you will have all you need education wise behind you!

I don't believe in putting family on hold for a career, though so once you have your degree and you and your OH are ready, go for it!! But I am positive the time will fly for both of us!

How long does your OH want to wait? Is he the same age as you?

 

[xLeeBeex]

It's so overwhelming though. When the OH isn't here I watch all the baby programs, I love it. I get all emotional watching them. Actually, i mainly get all teary when you see the blokes reactions to their new babies, i think it's lovely.

I know i'd stay at uni, and i've got such a supportive family, i'm pretty sure i'd have plenty of offers of babysitters for when i'm at uni and the OH has to go out (he works from home most days)! I just want to be a young mum, and I want me and my man to bring a child into the world and be brilliant parents.

I wish he was ready now, he always says 'i'm too little' (meaning himself) but he's 29 lol, silly sausage.

xx

 

[princess_bump]

just wanted to say Hello and Welcome to bnb

 

[xLeeBeex]

Hi Butterflies, my OH would quite happily wait another ten years I reckon. And he's 29... I want him to be a young-ish dad but I doubt it's gonna happen, he's to stubborn! Love him to bits tho, I know this might sound horrible but I don't want him to be an old dad. Dad's are too important!

xx

 

[BButterflies]

Hi Butterflies, my OH would quite happily wait another ten years I reckon. And he's 29... I want him to be a young-ish dad but I doubt it's gonna happen, he's to stubborn! Love him to bits tho, I know this might sound horrible but I don't want him to be an old dad. Dad's are too important!

xx

Don't worry too much about what he says now, My OH who is 21 said at first he will be around 35 when he had children. Now he understands how much it means to me it has drastically changed!!! I asked him yesterday and he said 5 years!!! And I haven't been pressurising him, I think he is genuinely looking forward to it. I think he was very reservedly excited when I got my false positve pregnancy test last week and it got him thinking so it might just click with your OH soon too!

I hope so anyway, I know what you mean about not wanting him to be an old Dad If things got the way I hope my OH will be a father of two by the time he is 29

 

[xLeeBeex]

It just seems like such a long way away though i'd love to have two kids eventually, I just want the first one asap! I don't want to pressure him, I want it to be a mutual thing not all one way.

I've thought about every tiny little detail, I look forward to everything, like changing nappies, gettin up in the night, I don't mind any of that. I'd work so hard with my uni work while the baby is sleeping, or my mum could have him or while if I needed to get work done and the OH was working. I know it'd work out, it's just persuading him that.

It's not like i'd miss going clubbing or drinking, cos I don't really do either of them. Last time I went to a club was for my birthday in March, even then I didn't drink, I elected myself as desginated driver.

xx

 

[alicea]

hey xleebeex im just the same!! im in my 1st year of uni its a 3year course and me and OH have decided to TTC in december so it will hopefully be born sept 2011 so i would only need to go bk for my final year! im sooo excited, i also wont miss going out clubbing or drinking i love days in with the OH or going out for walks and to the parks! i hope it all works out for u! x

 

[xLeeBeex]

Oh I wish I could persuade my OH to do that. I'd love to have a baby while i'm at uni. And day's in with the OH are totally the best, we rent films and snuggle up and watch them, you can't beat it and it's so much cheaper than going out!

I've started saving money, for nothin in particular, so far got 80 quid lol. Me and the OH are gonna try and sort a better way of saving each month after I get paid.

xx

 

[alicea]

do wat i do, everytime u have 1p's, 2p's or 5p's in ur purse/wallet put them in a money tin that needs a tin opener to get it out! i worked partime as a waitress so put my tips in there as well! my OH is also going to be startin uni in october so he will be a year behind so if i take a year out for the baby we will both qualify together

 

[xLeeBeex]

That's how I got the 80 quid saved!! And yeah I dunno if i'd take a year out tbh. I'd figure it out, like I said. Loadsa babysitter offers, and the OH works from home so it wouldn't be too bad.

xx

 

[alicea]

im gonna be 22 this year and i always said i wanted my 1st baby by the time i was 21! im gettin old lol! ive always wanted to be a young mum, not sayin older mums are over the hills but i just would like to be young so i can run around and that by the time im 60 they are old enough to look after themselves and have there own family and i can enjoy life! good luck in wateva u decide though

 

[xLeeBeex]

Haha, yep that does sound good!

Good luck to you too

xx