Help! 2week wait: Don't know what I want anymore

[Little_Teapot]

Hi girls,

I'm new to B&B.... so, i'm a mom of 1 little girl under 2 yrs. Since my period returned, i started using the progestogen only pill but, weirdly, it made me feel insane. DH and I talked and decided to simply forgoe contraception and let mother nature 'do her thing' since we want more kids anyway...

anyways, fast forward a bit and our marriage has been really rough. Tons of communication problems, conflict so bad it affects my sleep and eating. This year, we are also facing potential unemployment, losing our house and losing my dad to terminal cancer. It's been a terrible year.

However, on a rare close moment last week, DH and i were exceptionally horny and, given all the problems, i wanted so badly to be close to him. We DTD quite a few times in 2 days- i then realised it must be hormones and that i probably O'd.

So now I'm absolutely terrified of the next couple of weeks. I think i can't test til 12th (when DH is overseas for work!!) and i just don't know how to feel about things. not sure i could cope with another baby now but also, don't wish to be ungrateful since I do wish for more kids. I'm having actual regular anxiety attacks about all this

 

[LilyValley]

Didn't want to r&r, I'm sorry you've been through a lot lately.

It's totally normal to fear having a second baby, it's a massive decision, but you have to put things into perspective a bit to put your mind at rest. Like you I'd been through a lot of family problems before we tried for our DS, when I fell pregnant I was so scared, but my friend told me to think carefully about why I was so worried. It was mainly because I couldn't work out how I would cope with a baby with all of the other things going on in my life. But the things that happened were not 'everyday' things, they were things that don't happen regularly and whilst they were hard, I'd managed. Life changes quickly and things don't stay the same for long, another baby will be hard work but you have to think about how life would be day to day without the horrible events that have happened in the last few months.

You could maybe speak to your GP or, if you are pregnant, your midwife. There are lots of reasons 'not' to have a baby but when it was your wish before there was a possibility then you know that it's the right decision. We all get worried and anxious sometimes, I hope you start to feel better soon and that you get the result you want.