Help baby wants to be in my arms constantly

[KatO79]

So my about 7 week old son refuses to sleep in his lift during the day, he'll only sleep in my arms. Fairly new development as I used to be able to get him to sleep in his lift all the time. It gets impractical as it means taking a shower is impossible (have to wait until DH gets home from work) and making myself and eating breakfast and lunch is difficult as I have to take him with me and preferably hold him. My DH can more easily put him down and during the night I seem to be able to as well but thinking it's because the lift sits between DH and I on our bed.

What to do? I don't have friends or family that can help.

 

[happynewmom1]

Honestly, all my babies were like that at that age. I would wait to shower until my dh got home and for the last two babies, discovered wraps and carriers. They were lifesavers for me to get to be hands free and eat and such. If this isn't something you would want to try or already have and he didn't like it, you could try playing white noise by his bed or see if a swing would help. He may like the movement... Or could be he just wants to be close to you. But if he likes the movement a swing could help. Good luck! I know how tiring it can be.

 

[_Meep_]

Yup, I too would say to wear him, if it turns out that he likes it. Some carriers, such as wraps, can be very cosy and womb-like for a little baby, plus they get to still be close to you, which is all they want - after all, they've been INSIDE you all their lives up to this point. It's a pretty huge change for a tiny little person to be expected to make straight away. A lot of people believe in a 'fourth trimester' where the baby is basically worn all the time unless feeding or sleeping at night, and it's meant to really help ease their transition and adjustment to life on the outside.

I held my first baby basically constantly for the first three months I think, and just ate/washed/slept when I could, but I'm going to have to wear this one as I'll have an almost three year old when it arrives. It's not the most exciting life being attached to a newborn 24/7, granted, but they're only so little and dependent for a very short time.

 

[KatO79]

I do have an Ergobaby carrier (original version) but have been scared of trying to put it on alone, mostly the strap that closes at the back at the shoulder area - I'm scared of dropping him while trying to close it Also not sure how long I can carry him at a time as I sometimes will get back pain due to a horseback riding accident that happened some years ago. What do I do when I can't carry him anymore?

 

[_Meep_]

Hopefully after a little while, he won't need to be carried! They change so quickly - once he's awake more in the day and interested in grabbing for stuff and playing, you can just pop him under a baby gym or something and he'll probably tire himself out and fall asleep there, or wherever else he is. Are you trying to give him structured nap times, or just letting him fall asleep as and when? At this age, I don't think scheduled naps are ever going to work - have you tried putting him down once he is a deeply asleep? I'd practise a bit with the Ergobaby with a cushion or bag of flour or something, just until you're confident doing it alone. I had a Wilkinet, which was pretty complicated (you had to tie it lol) and thankfully never dropped my LO.

Decent wraps and carriers these days are designed to be as kind as possible to parents as well as babies, so it shouldn't hurt your back too much hopefully - plus you don't have to wear him ALL the time, just when it's absolutely essential you get something done and he's being clingy ...

 

[Left wonderin]

Awh bless him , he is still only so tiny , my advice for what it is worth is enjoy every second of him right now . Everything else can wait that isn't essential . They are only this little for such a short time , I've looked back on both mine and wished with all my heart I had spent more time just sitting holding them , taking in thier smell just the total wonder of them . Soon and very soon I promise they will want to be anywhere but in your arms !!

I know its easier said then done and there are practicalities that need attending but just give in and surrender lol..... Enjoy it , try not resent it and see it as a problem , feet up, snacks and drinks to hand , good box set and baby...in 3 months you will look back and wish with all your heart that is what you had done

Oh and on a side note ... For me now it is an absolute luxury to have a shower alone without an audience lol....

 

[Bevziibubble]

Both of mine were exactly the same. They just want to be held at this age. I found babywearing an absolute lifesaver as I just couldn't do anything otherwise.

 

[beanzz]

Baby wearing, wet wipes to freshen up while you wait for a shower and healthy snacks you can grab and eat one handed will be your best bet for now that's how I survive this part. I know it's very frustrating right now but It goes so quick that you will surprisingly miss this stage xx

 

[caz_hills]

I forgot how much babies need holding! I have to shower when my Hubbie comes home and eating cereal one handed for lunch is my norm! She will let me put her down though which is good a song I need to cook for my five year old!

I agree with others - it will pass! But shower when your OH is home, snacks and sandwiches for lunch which you can eat one handed etc x

 

[BunnyN]

If you are really desperate probably your only choice is to leave him in the cot to cry while you take a very quick shower. Otherwise shower when OH is at home. My 2nd lived in a bobba wrap. Mine never did swings or baby chairs or pushchairs or anything like that! My boba was a lifesaver. It means being stuck strapped to a baby but at least you have your hands free and a much happier baby! We also got an ergo baby and it was wonderful for walking outside, especially once baby got bigger but I found it a bit restrictive to sit down in and move about in the house. I found the boba much more comfortable for me and the baby to wear around the house while baby was small. Once I had the hang of it it was also easy to use by myself. The ergo was always easier with two people. Mabe give it a go and see if baby likes it. If it seems like it might work consider getting a stretchy style wrap to use in the house.

 

[Starlight32]

My baby was like this too. I held her for naps too until she was 3 months old. I never used a carrier, but she's my only child so I just let everything else wait.

Around 2 months, I was able to shower if I did it at the right time. I showered in the morning after her first feed. She had recently woken for morning so she wasn't tired yet, and she was just fed so not hungry.

 

[JumpingIn]

My advice is probably unusual because my son wasn't 'normal' as a baby in a lot of ways. But if I could go back in time I'd pretty much do the opposite. I'd leave him in the cot to cry and have a bloody shower. He was strapped to me for the first 8 months and woke every 20 minutes though so a bit of a different situation. I'd still say if all else fails then go for it, because what I've learnt is that babies cry because it's the only noise they can make. It doesn't always mean 'omg I'm scared and starving and vulnerable and NEED you'. Really it doesn't. I thought it did and wouldn't leave him crying even for seconds. Hence the near mental breakdown (not to mention horrendous body odour) during the first year.

 

[Left wonderin]

I agree , leaving him cry for,the duration of your shower and or making something to eat wont harm him

 

[caz_hills]

Be perfected the rest minute shower ������ my husband still takes half an hour but me and all my mummy friends manage the short showers!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Bath together?

I used to put mine in carseat in bathroom with me x

 

[DandJ]

Re: carriers. I was nervous too about using my Ergo alone while putting baby in there.. but I suggest practice with a stuffed animal or doll first and watch YouTube videos on how to properly put baby in there.

I did use the Moby Wrap at first and after watching a YouTube tutorial on it, it was easy to do and put baby in there without the fear of dropping them.

 

[KatO79]

I'm sure you're all right about the crying but I hate hearing him cry and he can get really hysterical with the crying - don't think my heart or ears could stand it

Bathing together isn't an option as I only have a shower and no bathtub Plus he's not exactly a bathing enthusiast

I have a baby nest in the bathroom that I use for when I need to use the toilet so I can have him in there with me so suppose I could use it for when I shower....

As for the carrier I may very well find something to use to practice putting it on. My DH has tried putting it on a few times (before my c-section scar was healed up enough) and he hasn't mastered putting it on alone so may be good we both practice so we can each put him in it alone.

 

[bcos21]

Maybe just sit down when putting baby in the carrier until you get the hang of it