HELP! How do I stop my 11 month old from having tantrums & fits of anger???

[chetnaz]

One of my twin boys has a real anger problem (yes at this age). If he doesn't get what he wants or I'm not paying him attention as I'm busy with his twin, he gets really angry, balls up his little fists and shakes them, screams blue murder and literally shakes from his anger! I really don't know how to deal with it. If he was older, i'd ignore him so he knows that sort of behaviour won't get him attention, or discipline him, but he's only 11 months old!! Is this normal? Does anyone else's LO do this and if so what's the best way to deal with it? I'm starting to worry that he's going to have real anger issues as he gets older. Please help!

 

[pink_rulez]

Humm hard one, is there anyway you can involve him in helping so he's not left out? If not I think if it was me I would say "sorry mummy is busy at the moment and will help you when she is finished" i think I would then ignore him as long as he canot hurt himself untill i had finished what i was doing then say "mummy has finished now and can help you" I know he will be young to understand but I don't think I would give him the attention while he was kicking off, but lots of praise and hug and kisses when he's not, so hopefully he will learn the good way to get ur attention,
sorry that dosnt seem like much help x

 

[iceylou]

omg nicole is the same. she can really get angry and screams in temper. if i walk away or ignore her (which i would do when shes older) she gets worse. shes also learned her to wobble her bottom lip as if shes shivering which of course makes her look as if shes cold when we are out so i get dirty looks off people

i dont know what to do with her but just to let it pass, hopefully. my son was always very good as a baby but when he reached 4 did the tantrums kick in. i still remember getting him ready for his first day at school and i had to pin him to the ground to get his shoes on, and of course the front door was open hes now the quietest 13yr old i have ever met. he does get angry from the normal things but never lashes out or anything

 

[angel2010]

Carter is the same! Let me know when you find the answer.

 

[angel2010]

Oh yeah, and Carter has now added pinching and hitting into the mix. He is quite the meanie!

 

[julietz]

Wow that just took me back afew years, my twin boys are 9 now but mine did the same, which they did grow out of, i was a single parent so they both wanted me all the time, and if i praised one for something he did, id have the other going mad for me to praise him, wow the stress i just wanted to hit a button and fly out of there sometimes, so know how you feel, there just to young to understand but as they grow and mature it will happen less, i had enough one day and just got them both in front of me, and explained mommy loves you both very much and the same, and if i praise one, the other will get the same when they do something good, i found it hard to do something with one then the other, as one always gets distracted, so do things together involve em both, and say good boys etc, they love to please mum, i tried the No no no im not talking to you while you are crying, but i always gave in and gave the cuddles, its hard, but best to deal with while young, hope things get better for you.

 

[Mummy2Asher]

Tristan shakes his fists as well! And does a moan like rah rah rah rah!
Funnily enough it's when I'm busy with ds1. I just distract him, normally by singing like a loonie and making him laugh.

 

[beatnick]

ive noticed that zakk now uses crying to get my attention to pick him up. as soon as i do what he wants his face is normal and he is fine.

ive started making him wait a little bit now when i know he is crying for me to do something as he has started doing it alllll the time. its proper moany. and if i dont act right away he bangs his feet on the floor and screams!

i guess if you know its a tantrum you have to be calm and just say "wait a moment mummy is busy". hehehe easier said than done huh!

 

[Tacey]

Alice used to be that way, but is calming down with age! I think it's important to help them deal with their anger rather than ignoring it. I acknowledge what they're feeling (e.g . I think you're feeling really angry because you wanted me to play with you, and I'm getting your brother dressed instead) I think in your situation, I'd probably do it while still attending to the other twin, but as soon as I finished, I'd go to him and cuddle him if he'd let me, or just sit nearby if he didn't want touching. It is completely normal and healthy to feel anger. At this age, they just don't know an appropriate way to deal with it. It's a stage they all have to go through (a few times!)

 

[XfairyhopesX]

Aiden does this too i think its frustration as they know what they want but cant talk to let you know yet xx

 

[chetnaz]

It is so difficult as I have the twins vying for my attention on one side, already competing with each other, and my 5 year old on the other side telling me I don't love him anymore as he hardly gets much one on one quality time with me! He's also rebeling big time by doing EXACTLY the opposite of everything i say. It's like he's trying to test how far he can push me. I'v also noticed that when I'm telling the 5 year old off, my LO (the tantrum throwing one) waves his fists about and gets angry too, so I was wondering if he's picking up how i'm feeling, if that's the case I feel

 

[chetnaz]

bump

 

[pinklightbulb]

Eamon gets like this all the time, he's just awful, he screams and shakes his fists and trembles because he gets so mad. I have enough trouble with one, I have no idea how you're coping so well with 3 kids