Hi.
My partner has breast fed our 18 month old son from day 1, which is a great thing to do, he is strong and is a very healthy boy. He looks a lot older than he actually is. However, There are problems that's concerning me. She has also breast fed him to sleep ever since he was born. IE, lying next to him on our bed until he falls asleep and then transfers him to his cot/bed. This is something she still does to this day. In the past i have attempted to put him to bed myself but have never managed to do it. He wants his mom and the comfort of the breast i presume. I have tried with pre-pumped milk from my partner, formula and water without success. He has never wanted or used a dummy. He normally goes to sleep within 5 or 10 minutes while she breast feeds him to sleep. He wakes up crying at least twice a night still to this day and she repeats the process of lying next to him until he falls asleep again and then returns him to his cot/bed. In the past i have been able to return him to sleep by rocking him back to sleep in my arms, which takes anything up to 40 mins walking around with him. This is no longer working. On occasions in the past she has become angry with me for not putting him to bed more often. I say thats down to the situation that has been created in the manner in which he has been put to bed all this time. She is now saying she breast feeds him to sleep because i wasnt putting him to bed. Which i don't think is fair as for the first 9 months i genuinely did try.
She has now started back to work and sometimes has to work from 14:00 to midnight. On these nights i have a such a hard time getting him to sleep. The other night it took me 3hrs 45 mins to try and get him to sleep and he finally fell asleep at 22.15. In the end i had to put him in his push chair and take him for a walk. I tried everything up to that point. He awoke at 23.30 that night but I managed to get to him before his crying really woke him up and rocked him back to sleep.
Her mother looked after him one night and it took her 3 and a half hours to get him to sleep. So I challenged her the other night to put him to sleep without breastfeeding like I have to, epecially after she said my techniques for putting him to bed "sucked". That sparked a row, and she refused point blank.
NB. I am English, my partner is Norwegian. She lived in the UK with me until she was 8 months pregnant and returned to Norway. I had to quit my job and move there. I spent the first nine months of my sons life there looking for a job, couldnt get one as i dont speak Norwegian yet. Came back to England to finish a course in February and because she claims single parent allowance and rent etc. If im there (working or not working) she would lose the money. I can only stay there for a month at a time (not sure in what length period that is).
I have just come back to England from a 1 month visit to Norway. Everything has changed with my relationship with my son in the 2 months i have not seen him. I can't get his attention, he wants to be with the Norwegian speakers, no one has been speaking English to him. He is hitting me, slapping me round the face. She has taken him to her parents house every day. My Norwegian neighbours told me she stays at her parents house 6/7 days a week now. My son now follows her dad everywhere and will not come to me anymore I am sure he thinks her dad is his father. They are spoiling him too much and I cant get a look in. I am getting angry by this. They all speak over me in Norwegian to him when i am telling him something in English. He listens to them. In my month there I stayed away from her parents house as much as I could to try and repair my relationship with my son. They then would come round to us!! Thank god they went to Italy on holiday for a week in my last week there.
I have just found out that while she worked to midnight last night my son slept in her parents bedroom in his cot. We live 3 miles away from her parents.
Actually i was going to delete this thread, but now i have typed it out, i have more issues than i realise. I am going to leave it for any comments as i am going insane and need help.
Am I making a fuss over nothing ?
Is there anywhere i can go or get in contact with professionally?
My partner has breast fed our 18 month old son from day 1, which is a great thing to do, he is strong and is a very healthy boy. He looks a lot older than he actually is. However, There are problems that's concerning me. She has also breast fed him to sleep ever since he was born. IE, lying next to him on our bed until he falls asleep and then transfers him to his cot/bed. This is something she still does to this day. In the past i have attempted to put him to bed myself but have never managed to do it. He wants his mom and the comfort of the breast i presume. I have tried with pre-pumped milk from my partner, formula and water without success. He has never wanted or used a dummy. He normally goes to sleep within 5 or 10 minutes while she breast feeds him to sleep. He wakes up crying at least twice a night still to this day and she repeats the process of lying next to him until he falls asleep again and then returns him to his cot/bed. In the past i have been able to return him to sleep by rocking him back to sleep in my arms, which takes anything up to 40 mins walking around with him. This is no longer working. On occasions in the past she has become angry with me for not putting him to bed more often. I say thats down to the situation that has been created in the manner in which he has been put to bed all this time. She is now saying she breast feeds him to sleep because i wasnt putting him to bed. Which i don't think is fair as for the first 9 months i genuinely did try.
She has now started back to work and sometimes has to work from 14:00 to midnight. On these nights i have a such a hard time getting him to sleep. The other night it took me 3hrs 45 mins to try and get him to sleep and he finally fell asleep at 22.15. In the end i had to put him in his push chair and take him for a walk. I tried everything up to that point. He awoke at 23.30 that night but I managed to get to him before his crying really woke him up and rocked him back to sleep.
Her mother looked after him one night and it took her 3 and a half hours to get him to sleep. So I challenged her the other night to put him to sleep without breastfeeding like I have to, epecially after she said my techniques for putting him to bed "sucked". That sparked a row, and she refused point blank.
NB. I am English, my partner is Norwegian. She lived in the UK with me until she was 8 months pregnant and returned to Norway. I had to quit my job and move there. I spent the first nine months of my sons life there looking for a job, couldnt get one as i dont speak Norwegian yet. Came back to England to finish a course in February and because she claims single parent allowance and rent etc. If im there (working or not working) she would lose the money. I can only stay there for a month at a time (not sure in what length period that is).
I have just come back to England from a 1 month visit to Norway. Everything has changed with my relationship with my son in the 2 months i have not seen him. I can't get his attention, he wants to be with the Norwegian speakers, no one has been speaking English to him. He is hitting me, slapping me round the face. She has taken him to her parents house every day. My Norwegian neighbours told me she stays at her parents house 6/7 days a week now. My son now follows her dad everywhere and will not come to me anymore I am sure he thinks her dad is his father. They are spoiling him too much and I cant get a look in. I am getting angry by this. They all speak over me in Norwegian to him when i am telling him something in English. He listens to them. In my month there I stayed away from her parents house as much as I could to try and repair my relationship with my son. They then would come round to us!! Thank god they went to Italy on holiday for a week in my last week there.
I have just found out that while she worked to midnight last night my son slept in her parents bedroom in his cot. We live 3 miles away from her parents.
Actually i was going to delete this thread, but now i have typed it out, i have more issues than i realise. I am going to leave it for any comments as i am going insane and need help.
Am I making a fuss over nothing ?
Is there anywhere i can go or get in contact with professionally?
so sorry if the responce is wrong for your situation. 
