Help me figure this out!!

[gingajewel]

Isla has always been an awful sleeper, waking up between 6-9 times a night screaming and crying and not resettling. We reluctantly started to co sleep but even then she was restless and crying and screaming.
Last night she screamed the place down for three hours so after trying everything my oh bought her downstairs so I could get some rest, he put her on two cushions on the sofa and he went and slept on the other sofa and she slept all night! No restlessness, no crying and no waking up!
I don't get it! Why doesn't she do this in her cot?! Please help me figure this out! Do u not think she is comfy in her cot? She has a pillow in there? I'm so confused!!

 

[minties]

I don't know, but that sounds like a rather dangerous sleeping arrangement for a baby, she could have slipped inbetween cushions and suffocated.

Cot mattresses are usually very hard is all I can think of.

 

[crownest]

Maybe she tired herself out screaming ?

 

[gingajewel]

i didn't no what else to do, only when u have had a child screaming all day every day for five months will you no what it truly feels like, I don't need telling it was probably dangerous I feel like the shittiest mother who can't calm her baby as it is

 

[xxxLeoxxx]

i didn't no what else to do, only when u have had a child screaming all day every day for five months will you no what it truly feels like, I don't need telling it was probably dangerous I feel like the shittiest mother who can't calm her baby as it is

I think most of us at some point have allowed baby to do things in ways that aren't deemed safe - nobody is perfect and it was obviously a one off. Could baby have felt more secure with pillows around her instead of being in her big empty cot? Maybe try rolled up blankets underneath her sheet or something similar to make her feel a bit more cosy?

 

[Left wonderin]

I know the feeling you do what works !! 6-9 times a night is tough going !!! I'm sure you have tried it all but its worth going back to the basics to test them . Is she hungry ? Is she too hot ? Too cold ? Could she have silent reflux and the cushions she was propped up on actual helped ease the discomfort last night ? Could you try prop her cot up on a phone book or something to put it at a sight slant ? Or roll a blanket up underneath the mattress will have th e same effect . It won't do any harm to try it ?

It sounds so stressful , your doing so well to keep calm !! Please come back and let us know how your getting on

 

[Left wonderin]

Have you started her on solids yet ?

 

[crownest]

i didn't no what else to do, only when u have had a child screaming all day every day for five months will you no what it truly feels like, I don't need telling it was probably dangerous I feel lik9e the shittiest mother who can't calm her baby as it is

We have all being there at our wits end and you are not a shit mother just a very tired one. Sometimes we just do what ever works to get some sleep I left my 9 month old asleep in my bed with pillows around him because I had being up all night and desperately needed a shower/time alone. I would have sworn few days beforehand I'd never do it as I was convinced he would fall off. It was a one off. Remember sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

Maybe she liked the feeling of something around her maybe roll up some cellular blankets around her in cot. My DS likes to smother himself in pillows or blankets so I gave him a little teddy that he can squeeze his face into but he can't get wrapped up in and he can easily move around

 

[gingajewel]

i didn't no what else to do, only when u have had a child screaming all day every day for five months will you no what it truly feels like, I don't need telling it was probably dangerous I feel like the shittiest mother who can't calm her baby as it is

 

[Smanderson]

i didn't no what else to do, only when u have had a child screaming all day every day for five months will you no what it truly feels like, I don't need telling it was probably dangerous I feel like the shittiest mother who can't calm her baby as it is

I know what this is like, I honestly do ds1 had severe reflux he screamed day and night for months on end. Your not a shitty mother, you have survived 5 months with a poorly baby, you are doing everything you can to help. Ds1 woke half hourly and I was in a complete mess. Being my first I at least didn't have another child to worry about taking care of so I really feel for you.

I think what's happened is maybe being propped up at an angle has helped? Have you tried a cot wedge? Have you heard of poddle pods and sleepyhead pods they are supposed to help reflux babies settle easier. we use the poddle pod (now toddle pod as he's grown a lot) for ds2 who does not have reflux but sleeps well in this. We didn't know about them for ds1 unfortunately.

Is your dd on any meds? We found omeperozole really helped but made his sleep worse. The only thing that fixed things was when he was upright most of the time. We also found the baby swing helped but the car seat used to make him scream. Our snug seat made him vomit more but high chair seemed fine. It's a balancing act until they grow out of it unfortunately.

You most certainly are not alone in this and I know there are lots of mums who understand what you are going through. There are support threads on here, fb groups for support with reflux babies also little refluxers is a good website for support. I think I've seen you post about cmpi too which there is definitely chatter about on these groups too. Trust me when I say I know how your feeling and connecting with other mums who are in the same position will help you realise it's not you it's that your baby is poorly what your going through is really hard for all of you

 

[dani_tinks]

I have no advice but want to send you massive . I really hope you can figure it out, it must be totally exhausting xx

 

[Twag]

I second the rolling up of towels or blankets and putting them under her cot sheet so she is almost in a cocoon - I did this for my daughter when I put her in her cot as she found it too big and likes to feel cuddled in - worked

(okay she still wakes 2/3 times a night but I think my child genuinely dislikes sleeping!)

 

[gingajewel]

Thank you so much ladies, I really appreciate all your advice and support.
I forgot to say this morning she has silent reflux and a dairy allergy and so she is on a lot of medication and has never been truly settled and is far from easy. She cries a lot all of the time. She has a pillow in her cot due to her reflux so is already raised (its underneath the mattress)
I have started weaning but I am doing blw so she probably isn't getting a lot!
Would a v pillow work the same as rolled up towels do u think?
It's all just got on top of me, I've had months and months of her crying all day and not sleeping at night it's so difficult! She has had a lot of problems and last night was just awful 😰

 

[Twag]

I personally think the v pillow would be too high up around her sides whereas if you roll a towel (i used spare baby towels) into a long sausage and tie at the ends they make a slight cushioning around her but not too high so that she can plant her face into them and suffocate iykwim?

I have heard great things about poddle pods if you can afford one

Bless her poor thing I hope it eases soon and you all get some much needed rest

 

[gingajewel]

Thank you twag, just done what you said with the towels! Keep everything crossed for me!

 

[Twag]

How did last night go?

 

[gingajewel]

Last night was a little better thanks, she woke a few times but not crying and screaming so could resettle her quite easily! Thank you for asking and thank you for your advice xx

 

[Twag]

Glad she was a bit better fingers crossed it keeps on an upward trend

 

[Left wonderin]

Awh that's brilliant news

 

[gingajewel]

Thank you left wonderin and thank you for your advice