Help...need advice

[jenhope83]

Im 30 and have been ttc for 5 years with #1. Im having a hard time emotionally dealing with my two younger stepsisters being pregnant at the same time. My one sister has no job, shes with a guy shes known for 3 months and already has a 6 yr old with a guy who has nothing to do with the child. I have no positive things to say about her being pregnant...i feel hurt and mad and guilty...every emotion you could possibly feel. Here hubby and i are ...been together for 11 yrs and married for 6yrs and nothing. I try so hard to push my feelings aside to be happy for them but i just cant. Ive distanced myself from my family because the babies is all everyone talks about knowing hubby and i struggle with ttc. I need advice on how to deal with my feelings so i dont grow to hate them.

 

[MollyGrue]

I genuinely cannot imagine how difficult that must be. I only got an inkling of that sort of pain when I was 27 and single, and all of my friends were married and having babies (which is all I ever wanted). I cannot imagine how much that hurts.

Coming from the other side, my husband and I recently found out that we're pregnant. His aunt was told many years ago that she could never have children, and then just a few months ago, she got pregnant and miscarried. While we are excited for her to be part of our pregnancy, I can tell you that we made a point of being incredible cautious in the way that we revealed it, and I can tell you that, when she started to cry, I couldn't tell if it was out of happiness or not, and that crushed me. Not for my sake, but for hers, because I genuinely cannot imagine her pain, and we would never do ANYTHING to hurt her. She's only a few years older than we are (I think she's 37? I'm 31), so she's still acutely aware of everything. Honestly, as we're still early on (5+3), we just try not to bring it up around her, and only talk about it if she brings it up.

From that perspective, if she ever came to me and said, "It is breaking my heart to hear you talk about your pregnancy. I want you to know that I am so excited for you, but it is so hard for me. Do you think that, sometimes, we could leave the baby off the table for a little while and just talk about things like my new job, or so and so's wedding, and maybe only talk about the baby if I bring it up? I need some time to adjust," then I would be more than willing to keep my lips zipped about the baby and just chat with her like always.

I don't know how close you are to your stepsisters. I don't know how personally they tend to take things like that, but maybe talking to them about how much you're hurting would be a good start?