help please from mummies with newborns and young children....

[Blu10]

Im hoping for some advice, i didnt bf DS (now 4) mainly as I felt uncomfortable doing it, particularly in public or in front of others. He was ff from day 1 and i dont regret that choice, DS has always fed and slept brilliantly, is rarely ill and has still never needed antobiotics. However, this will be my last baby so im toying with the idea of trying bf. My concerns are how i will manage bf with a newly established school run and how im going to get time with DS if this baby cluster feeds? DH works long hours so I will be on my own taking care of the kids and home until 7pm most evenings and I need a routine that works for the whole family and not just our new addition.
I wonder if ff will be 'easier' again but then want to make the right choice.
What are the realities of bf? Is baby likely to cluster feed? Any advice greatly appreciated. Im well aware of the publicised benefits of bf already although I have to say Im convinced by them personally so reduced risks of asthma, eczema etc are unlikely to sway my decision either way.

 

[vs011]

I personally think putting baby on breast becomes too demanding over time. The mom always has to be present every single feeding. I cant do that. I have to take care of myself too. My advice is to give baby breast for as long as you can then pump your milk into bottle. But I dont think you should make yourself sick over having to bf by breast. There are many women in this day and age who cant sustain putting baby to breast for long term as you described. Do what is right for you. Even I am self conscious about potentially exposing my breasts in public for baby to feed on and I am a happy pumper now. The baby and you will still bond, they still make eye contact when you pump and give the bottle of your milk. It's almost the same effect. I ff on the side on times I dont have enough of my milk to give as my baby is very hungry some days. Pumping also lets someone else feed your baby when you just cant do it.

 

[Blu10]

Thanks vs011, yes DH will want to feed baby too. BF definitely isnt a long term plan, each to their own but I have no intention of bf a 2 or 3 year old personally. I may try giving colostrum in hospital after the birth and see how we get on but I suppose it depends on whether baby takes to it or not too x

 

[Kazy]

One of the hardest things for me was bf at the beginning and doing school runs. I had my lo in may so only had to do it for about a month then summer break. My 4 month old now only eats 5x per day and we have a good schedule going. So now its easier. But I know what you mean about not wanting to be the only one who can feed baby. It is taxing at times. I would say do what you need to take care of yourself. I think first and foremost what babies need are sane mommies! You may try bf and just see how it goes with no pressure. I would just suggest not stopping unless you have one full week of deciding everyday that you cant do it. You will for sure have days where it is hard but the next day may not be. So my only suggestion is to just not quit after one or two bad days if you do decide to try.

 

[Blu10]

Thanks Kazy, our new baby is due right on christmas so its bound to be a crazy time as it is. I do feel like giving it a go this time although DH may take some convincing 😐

 

[emyandpotato]

It's definitely hard! I have a four year old who starts school next week and a very demanding six week old who won't sleep much during the day, hates being put down, and cluster feeds all day every day. This week I've started feeding him on one side when he wakes for his 6am feed and expressing on the other side. That way, once he's fed for about an hour, I can give him to OH with the bottle of expressed milk (which he always wants, even though he's been feeding all morning already) while I get me and LO ready. Then baby is full from his bottle and has a bit of a sleep in his sling and I'm hoping, though not tried it yet, he'll just sleep through the school run. A sling is also a good idea as I've found it's the only way I can really get LO to sleep for a decent amount of time during the day.

As for being embarrassed about feeding in front of people, I am too, but you know what? I got over it after about a week. Well, I use a cover and latch LO in the toilet so I don't have to get my boobs out and flash a whole coffee shop, but I have no problem just feeding him with the cover on and I'm sure in time I'll get enough confidence to do it without.

 

[Kazy]

I nursed in public with all 4 of mine. I know people say they get weird looks,etc but I never gave. Or maybe I'm just oblivious lol. I cover up too because I'm not comfortable otherwise.

 

[Blu10]

Thanks ladies. A friend of mine just had #2 and her baby is cluster feeding between 5 and 10pm every night, right when shes trying to get her other childs tea bath and bedtime sorted. I cant imagine trying to do that with DH still at work and a new school routine but want to make the right choice for our baby and our family x

 

[noon_child]

Thanks ladies. A friend of mine just had #2 and her baby is cluster feeding between 5 and 10pm every night, right when shes trying to get her other childs tea bath and bedtime sorted. I cant imagine trying to do that with DH still at work and a new school routine but want to make the right choice for our baby and our family x

Yes cluster feeding is a reality and it is tough because you can't put it off when your newborn is crying BUT it doesn't last forever, and when it's done with, bf is so convenient. Do you have any other family who could come to stay with you while you get a handle on things? You could try feeding in a sling too but it was a skill I never mastered

If bf isn't a long term thing for you, maybe combo-feeding would suit.

 

[Blu10]

Thanks noon-child, baby is due around Christmas so were hoping if he does arrive a little early then hubby may be around for the first three to four weeks and my mum is brilliant so im sure she will be here during the day if needed.
My plan would be to wean off bf completely by 6 months ready for going back to work at 9 months but I hadnt considered combi feeding, this is something i need to look into x

 

[zorak]

Cluster feeding is tough but I just took baby with me where needed. If DS1 was in the bath, I'd sit on the toilet and feed and then unlatch bubs to get him dried. I'd then feed while reading the goodnight story or sitting with DS1 when going to bed.

I only have a 2 year age gap but DS1 went to daycare 3 days a week. For pickup and drop off I'd just make sure and offer a feed before I left. I had no issues, bubs always slept in the car 30 mins there and back so over an hour. Then when we got home I always had time to get DS1 a snack before feeding again.

I honestly find breastfeeding with another child easy. It does help that my baby is a fast feeder though.

 

[Blu10]

Thanks zorak! Sounds like you have it nailed hun 👍

 

[mummytobe_93]

Im hoping for some advice, i didnt bf DS (now 4) mainly as I felt uncomfortable doing it, particularly in public or in front of others. He was ff from day 1 and i dont regret that choice, DS has always fed and slept brilliantly, is rarely ill and has still never needed antobiotics. However, this will be my last baby so im toying with the idea of trying bf. My concerns are how i will manage bf with a newly established school run and how im going to get time with DS if this baby cluster feeds? DH works long hours so I will be on my own taking care of the kids and home until 7pm most evenings and I need a routine that works for the whole family and not just our new addition.
I wonder if ff will be 'easier' again but then want to make the right choice.
What are the realities of bf? Is baby likely to cluster feed? Any advice greatly appreciated. Im well aware of the publicised benefits of bf already although I have to say Im convinced by them personally so reduced risks of asthma, eczema etc are unlikely to sway my decision either way.

I have a 5 week old and a 21 month old and have breastfed both. Personally I find breastfeeding easy this time and probably easier than I would find bottle feeding. The first few weeks are quite hard wih feeding but after that thre feeding becomes a bit less and is a lot easier.
I wear him in a wrap during the days he wants feeding a lot but he tends to sleep most of the day. And at night I just whip a boob out and feed him no faffing with bottles.

Honestly I don't think I could cope with the extra washing of bottles, sterilising and making bottles on top of all the chores I already have.

I honestly don't find it hard, so many people tell me I'm doing so well to still be breastfeeding with both but I imagine bottle feeding would be much harder. Even during meal times I can feed him and hold him one hand but use my other hand to eat. Where as if you're bottle feeding it requires both hands so in that sense it is also easier plus cheaper.

I would say just try it but be aware that the first few weeks can be difficult so don't let that put you off. If it doesn't work out atleast you tried. You can also give the odd bottle if you wanted to so your partner can get involved or if you need some extra sleep xx

 

[mummytobe_93]

Also regarding feeling uncomfortable. With my first I was so nervous and maybe felt a bit embarassed about feeding in public I would often feed in bathrooms In fear someone would make a comment.

This time I honestly couldn't care less and honestly no one seems to care either or give me a second look. I just put a blanket to cover myself (personal choice) and feed and its absolutely fine. Plus most places have feeding rooms now so there's always that option. It just depends whatever makes you feel more comfortable.

I decided before j had number 2 that I wouldn't be embarassed or be made to feel unconfortable and that I should be proud that im breastfeeding my baby. Never had any issues since and I think the first few times you do it in public it is nerve wracking but after that you build the confidence up and its fine, you can learn to do it quickly and discreetly as well x