Help with my 5 year old? Does your 5 year old..

[whatwillbex]

Does your 5 year old get really stressed and angry/upset:-

when putting on gloves
Certain clothes
Putting her hat and scarf on a certain way
Sitting in the same place to have her after school snack
Lining up her snack the same way every day.


She has to do things the same every time or she looses it. I’m trying to help her be a bit more flexible but it’s really challenging. I’m not sure if all 5 year olds are this intense and strict routine followers or if it’s just mine.
Help!

 

[SarahBear]

Five year old like routine, but it sounds like your doughter's needs may go beyond what is typical.

 

[babycrazy1706]

I have a 5 year old and he doesn't display any of these behaviours but everyone is different. If you are concerned have a word with your health visitor xx

 

[SarahBear]

Does your child also display difficulty understanding non-verbal communication? Is there anything unusual about her social interactions?

 

[whatwillbex]

She’s really social. Will talk to anyone literally we will leave the house and she is really over familiar with every one. She does tend to repeat her self. We spoke to the health visitor twice now but the lady has said it’s all normal behaviour. I just worried as all the children I know seem to just go with it. Maybe it’s just her thing x

 

[rlbb1]

It’s my personal opinion, but I think it sounds normal?

My son has rituals and routines. He gets angry easily if things aren’t “right”. I had a senior paediatrician at the hospital tell me he “may be autistic”, despite his fantastic communication with all the adults he encountered whilst there. We were visiting the hospital for something totally different and irrelevant, and he only witnessed his behaviour for a short while. Despite this, he recommended unless a referral from my sons school was made, there was no need for tests at that time. Friends and family also comment, saying they think my son has OCD. I shrug it off saying children of this age have their quirks.

Has your daughters school mentioned any concerns to you?

 

[Babybump87]

Toddlers / children thrive on routine and predictability. Maybe she’s just displaying those.

My DD just turned 5 she does the things you mention apart from the last thing your DD does although she likes to line toys etc up .

She gets extremely frustrated when doing her writing and homework and when she thinks it’s not write or looks the same she will have a complete meltdown ! I’ve just put it down to an age thing , whole lotta things must be going on in their minds , school work , friends , relationships , home life . They might just be tryna figure things out .

 

[housewifey]

I’d say it’s easy for people to shout autism when they read something like this as these can be traits of autism however that doesn’t mean that’s what your daughter has. If she’s fine in all other areas I’d say this is just a part of her personality or even a phase that may go away.

I work with kids and 5 year olds everyday, we have kids who struggle if the routine for the day changes, some don’t like their coat zipped up despite it being freezing, one who loves to wear hats but freaks if it covers his ears, some like to have their pencil cases next to them all the time others who lose it if they forget their reading book that day. All kids have their little quirks and as long as she doesn’t get it obsessive with them then she’ll be just fine, you can work with her on occasionally doing things different and discussing how that is okay. There will be times when situations are out with her control and the more prepared for things like that the better ☺️

 

[whatwillbex]

Thanks everyone , I’ve been trying to mix things up a bit and always encouraging her and saying it’s ok. So tough as she is big on rules, everythings black and white and struggles to understand that there are grey areas too.
Shes excelling at school. The only comment her teacher says is her listening where the teacher says she knows she can hear her and understands but doesn’t give her the eye contact to show she has listened when the teacher has spoken. Were working on that.
I just assumed that a lot of children had these quirks but my dd just seems to always be at the extreme end. I definitely don’t think it’s autism. Academically she amazes me it’s always on the social side we seem to struggle and can be quite challenging sometimes. X

 

[liz1985]

It's hard to say but it doesn't sound so typical to me. My six year old is in the autism pathway and does not struggle at all academically. His problems are all social. Autism can be easily dismissed when children are doing well academically especially in girls as girls actually learn to fit in much easier than boy with autism do so it's not as noticeable. I'm not in any way saying that your daughter does has it but maybe don't dismiss it completely. What year is she in at school? If she's still in reception so a younger 5 id just leave it a while longer and see what happens, if she's year 1, so an older 5 then I'd seek advice again from teacher or health visitor.

 

[whatwillbex]

She is one of the oldest in her reception class. This is my worry too she comes across confident as she is a very loud talker. Everyone we have spoke to about her habits have all said the same thing that we are all on the spectrum and not to pigeon hole her. We just want to make sure we are helping her in the right way if there was something. We haven’t a clue she’s our first. :/

 

[MAMA MOON]

My 5 yo isn’t like this, but he’s a fairly laid-back kid. I volunteer in his class often & have noticed some kids are more rigid and particular about certain things, but I wouldn’t say they “lose it”, save one little girl.

I’m just wondering what exactly you mean when you write that your daughter loses it?

 

[whatwillbex]

Oh sorry, the only way I can describe is a bit like a tantrum. She had a hearing test at school yesterday and we were told she had difficulty hearing some of the sounds and has to be retested. So I’m not she if her hearing could be the root cause of it maybe?

 

[minties]

It does sound a little out of the 'norm', my eldest is on the spectrum (high functioning) and some of what you have said about your daughter sounds familiar. Girls also tend to go under the radar with ASD as they are generally pretty good with socialising, as it is a stronger trait in the female brain make-up. Not all ASD people are terrible at socialising, my brother is also on the spectrum and has lots of friends and gets through job interviews beautifully etc. He used to walk off with strangers as a child.

I didn't see my son as being on the spectrum at all, he was always quirky, but it was starting school and Sophie growing older that really highlighted the differences for me. She is more mature, doesn't tantrum/meltdown, she is really flexible, doesn't have a lot of the difficulties and thought processes Thomas has. Her imaginative play is AMAZING... his imagination is ENORMOUS but his roleplaying etc took years to ermerge and he needed lots of practice.

He always was fine developmentally as a baby and toddler and did well at his well child checks, but at about age 4.5 others started to pick up on things.

He has very loud meltdowns, doesn't like change (can be as small as stopping one activity and going to another, and things like changing teachers or routine are dreadful).

He's not at all social, but has never lined up toys or had food avoidance.