Help!

[CaptainMummy]

Cut a long story short...

My ex (father of all 3 girls) and I have been split for almost 2 years. We still cant agree on things.
He used to always come here to see them which was awful for me. He disrespected me, he sat and did nothing and I still ran about after the girls, he was always trying to speak to me instead of spending time with them etc etc the list goes on.

Anyway, he started a new job a few weeks ago and I told him that I no longer wanted him in my house (this was after I caught him on my phone) and if he wants to see the girls then he is more than welcome to take them at the weekend.

He finishes work late and he wouldn't get to mine until 6.30pm if he were to come during the week. The few nights he did that my girls were all overtired, upset and it wasn't a pretty sight in the morning! So it seems pretty obvious to me that the best thing to do would be not have him here during the week (I'm not allowing him in my house anyway, but this is another reason)

He thinks I am being so unfair. He tells me I am stopping him from seeing the girls, even though I tell him to take them for the weekend.

Funny thing is... The last 3 weekends he has come and picked them up, took them to the park for 2 hours and brought them home.
Neither of us drive, so it would be a 40 minute train journey each way, but I have offered to do half of the travel (Ie he pick them up from mine and I do the same when they are coming back) but he refuses to do that. He stays with his mum and hasn't got a bedroom there he cant have them stay over.

He phones and texts me a trillion times a day, telling me how much.he misses them and how upset he is, or sometimes just moaning about how awful I am for stopping him seeing the girls.

I am done. I want him to have his time with the girls and me mine. But he refuses my offer (which is perfectly reasonable in my opinion) and would rather have a go at me.

I haven't had any time to myself for years (literally. I haven't had one day without my girls) and I am physically exhausted as well as being driven mentally insane by him.

I am contacting citizens advice on Monday. He will not be happy, but has left me no choice.
What will they do? Will they tell him to suck it up and take them for the weekends? Or will they say I am being unfair?

Help me before I go crazy!!

 

[RaspberryK]

You are not being unfair at all. He should have a suitable place to take them for the weekend by now and should have them every other weekend. X

 

[LoraLoo]

I think you need something more formal arrangement in place as it's not fair on you or the girls, I think cab is a good starting point, best of luck x

 

[CaptainMummy]

Thanks ladies. I have tried so hard to come to an agreement and allowed him here for so long but it just makes me miserable and he completely took advantage and is so used to getting things his own way, so now that I have put my foot down he wont accept it.
I was pretty certain that I wasnt being unfair... But honestly, it is like speaking to the thickest brick wall ever trying to tell him.

Hopefully CAB can point me in the right direction, and we can get it sorted. It would have been so much easier if I went that route from the start!

 

[RaspberryK]

In my experience cab are awful, family law were good and free. Xx

 

[MrsT&Ben]

Hope you get something sorted. I can never understand why men can't be bothered to make an effort to see their children (some mums too).
If he isn't willing to meet you half way then he doesn't deserve to see your girls. My ex husband (I wish - were only separated) has been pretty good up until now when it comes to the kids but he does act like the world owes him a favour.

 

[MummyMana]

Seeing as he stays with his mum, could you possibly come to an arrangement with her? My ex stays with mum and that's how we do it