hes going too far now i dont know what to believe

[Naya69]

ok so i decided to get the csa help me with my ex mike because he kept sayin joshua was not his child i did offer him a dna test which i would of paid for but he refused so i phoned the csa so at the moment we are going through a dna test with them which feels like it taking forever. but something that really got my kite was this .... i explained that when this test came bk positive i would have to meet his family his reply was
"no they dont want anything to do with you because you told me josh was defo mine then changed it to no hes not yours then bk to yes hes defo yours" which is a total lie i told him there was a chance josh wasnt his from the begining. hes told me he told his family i was pregnant when i was 4 months gone which i think is bull because when josh was 4 months old i phoned his house spoke to his sister and mum and told them and shocked was not the word his sister shouted down the phone "no way" and was really happy and his mum just stuttered her words he doesnt know to this day i rang them as i asked them not to tell him.
but now hes making a whole list of stupid things he wants me to do when the test comes back positve like....

* josh is not allowed anything winnie the pooh because it will turn him gay so what i will love him no matter what he wants to be
* i have to take all pics of him off facebooks and everywhere else my family are on facebook we dont see eachother that much so its a way of keepin in touch
*he wants to change his name to his last name which aint gonna happen
*he wants him to surport manchester united and not city dont even get me started on that one


but one thing that annoys me is that he wants to take josh for the day to meet his family which is fair enough but i dont know these people they are strangers josh hasnt seen mike that much as well so hes a bit of a stranger too if i do this i might as well go into my street and hand him over to a stranger because thats what it feels like wht would you guys do i feel like ringing his sister and asking her about this because its upset me i dont want people in my childs life i have not even met

sorry it was long but i had to share the details xxxx

 

[captain-ally]

I would ask to go with him if he takes Josh. It'll be awkward, but call it supervised visitation. (Which is what he should start off with anyway, till he can prove he's responsible enough)

And wtf about the winnie the pooh? I don't let it in my house because I'm anti-corporation (especially disney) but there's nothing that'll "turn" a person gay. What a closed minded ******. I almost wouldn't worry about the list. Once he's actually had to start playing daddy he may get so knee deep in diapers he won't remember it anyway lol.

 

[alloyd519]

Wow he's being totally unreasonable with this whole thing. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I totally understand the whole thing with him taking your little boy to see his family, without you. That is just ridiculous. I would feel like i'm just handing my baby to complete strangers too! Has he even been around your little one? I mean if he hasn't how can he expect to just take a baby he doesn't even know and have that be ok? Maybe too personal of a question, but are you breastfeeding? If so i'd tell him that I can't not be with him because he has to eat and I don't pump!! Lol idk just an idea!! I hope everything works out for you, raising a baby alone is enough, but with all that!

 

[Naya69]

no not breastfeedin but that would of been a good excuse becasue he cant take josh and my boobs with him lmao

and nappies he wont even look while i change joshs bum he moaned the other day because i changed his bum next to him and told me to move and thats another thing i dont know if any of you ladys are like this but i dont like anyone changing his bum apart from me especially people i dont know i have to let people do it sometimes like when they are babysitting him.

yesterday when he came down josh was playin with his honey jar happly and thats when he made the comment and then took it off him i was not best pleased to say the least

 

[alloyd519]

Wow that's ridiculous. Never knew winnie the pooh made you gay! My girls room used to be all winnie the pooh, wonder if they'll end up lesbians! I'm sorry you have to go through comments like that! I hate when anyone besides me or OH do anything with the girls so I know how it is letting anyone even change them!

 

[xJG30]

If he can't cope with watching you change his nappy, how will he cope if he eventually has him on his own??

I'd deffo go for supervised visits, bit unfair of him to ask that first of.

 

[Naya69]

hes a muppet when he said that comment about winnie the pooh making him into a puffter boy i asked well what do you want him to play with so hes reply was get him some vicious toys so i said well i'll run out and get him an electric chainsaw then he just laughted honest to god if he had brains he wold be dangarous the things he comes out with like when josh turned 6 months old i started putting him in a high chair to feed him but he said i was rushing his development and it wasnt safe to put him in a chair ???

 

[Mummy&bump]

why wud it not b safe 2 put him in a chair, o i dnt kno how u manage 2 hold ur tongue honestly, coz his parenting skills seem so top notch!!! god iv got a things 4 the wee man thts winnie the pooh well all b having gay kids now, there goes the population! and for football cudnt it jus b josh's decision as 2 who he supports, neveer kno he might not like football! well id deff go with him and if he refuses then hed b lettin his family miss out so then id fne his sis n arrange sumthin directly with them!

xx

 

[brownhairedmom]

 

[Naya69]

i know hes unreal also because the cas will be taking a £5 out of his dole money each week he thinks thats all he has to do he doesnt think he has to buy him clothes and toys he thinks thats in with the £5 but i wont even see that £5 anyway untill i go back to work so in fact i wont be getting no money off him at all x

 

[faun]

God sorry but he sounds like a bit of a knob. After the dna test comes back he will have to start making financial contributions towards your beautiful baby boy but this does not mean he has the right to tell you what to do or see him when he wants. The best thing to do would be to speak to a solicitor ( the first 1 hour is usually free) so you can work out a proper schedule for visiting rights for the first few months this should take place at a contact centre where they will both be supervised and he won't be able to leave with your son or take him any where. This would be a good idea as you will know exactly where your son is and that he is safe, also it will be a good place for his dad and grandparents to get to know your son before you even consider letting him take him out for the day. If he is not willing to agree to the conditions you set for him then you are under no obligation to submit to any of his demands. I know this probably sounds harsh but i have been in a similar situation and this worked for me even though my sons dad gave up coming after the first few months as he lost interest and hasn't seen my son for about 5 years now.

 

[Naya69]

God sorry but he sounds like a bit of a knob. After the dna test comes back he will have to start making financial contributions towards your beautiful baby boy but this does not mean he has the right to tell you what to do or see him when he wants. The best thing to do would be to speak to a solicitor ( the first 1 hour is usually free) so you can work out a proper schedule for visiting rights for the first few months this should take place at a contact centre where they will both be supervised and he won't be able to leave with your son or take him any where. This would be a good idea as you will know exactly where your son is and that he is safe, also it will be a good place for his dad and grandparents to get to know your son before you even consider letting him take him out for the day. If he is not willing to agree to the conditions you set for him then you are under no obligation to submit to any of his demands. I know this probably sounds harsh but i have been in a similar situation and this worked for me even though my sons dad gave up coming after the first few months as he lost interest and hasn't seen my son for about 5 years now.

i dont know how anyone can walk out on a child.

he says he only wants to take him out the once and he cant have him over nite because hes not responsible enough which is the only thing he got right. but if he only wants to take him out the once then hows his family gonna see josh after that if they dont want nowt to do wiv me i think its all bullshit i think he just doesnt want me to meet his family.

i think one of the worst things hes ever said to me was iam gonna make you scared of josh so asked how and he said iam gonna make him beat you up nice isnt it makes me wounder what hes like wiv his mum hes already told me he hates her yet she runs around after him i feel sorry for her she never got back to me when i told her about josh which she said she would and maybe thats the reason why maybe mike would go mad if he knew we had been talkin.

my friends keep askin why are you bothering because iam fine how i am but when josh is older and he wants to know who his dad is at least with a dna test mike cant turn round and say to josh well i dont think your mine because that would hurt him so much xx

 

[faun]

He sounds a right peice of work and i think you are right to be very cautious in what you do in this situation it sounds like he is trying josh to get at and hurt you by deliberatley saying things to provoke you. When you have the dna results you can try and sort something out with his dad so josh can see him or just wait untill josh is old enough to ask questions about it himself. Im sure by then you will have found the man you deserve who will treat you and josh like the treasures you are and josh may not even have any interest in who his dad is.

 

[xJG30]

Wouldn't be letting him go anywhere with him after saying something like that personally..

if he's gonna get josh to beat you up, whats to say he won't do something like that to him?

 

[Naya69]

oh josh wont be goin no where with him he hasnt got a clue what josh needs during the day no one does apart from me i would love to be a fly on the wall of his house to find out the truth tho and see what his family really think x

 

[charlotteb24]

I can't believe how much of a pr*ck he is being! he sounds like a child! a child who wants to take out and look after another child. You are very right to be cautious! if i were you i would completely bypass talking to him directly and if you do have a contact number for his mother or sister then arrange for them to see josh with you present.

Faun's idea sounds the best in my opinion if he does want to have some sort of involvement. Personally i think he has NO clue about how to look after Josh and when he is handed to him, obviously in a well supervised environemnt his gace would be an absolute picture of panic! might help him to wise up a bit!

Can't believe he is saying all of those immature things to you too, it just shows how irrasponsible he is and immature. I'm glad you are rid of him as he sounds like a piece of work and i hope he appreciates what you are trying to do for him at the moment in terms of for Josh's future and knowing who his dad is, even if he doesn't deserve such a beautiful little boy!

Best of luck with everything. xxx

 

[Naya69]

thanks for everyones input i think the best thing is to wait till i get the results because right now i have no argument wiv him except the fact hes a nob which i would win hands down and then if he still is being pathetic then i will ring his mum or sister and finds out whats going on and if they agree they want nowt to do wiv me then they have nowt to do wiv josh its their loss xx

 

[xarlenex]

This guy sounds nuts! Do you really want Josh around him at all..!? I'm not sure I would!

 

[Naya69]

This guy sounds nuts! Do you really want Josh around him at all..!? I'm not sure I would!

yer i think that myself sometimes x