hii i'm new here. just need some advice really

[LilMiss_91]

Hii :]
i'm just here for a little bit of advice tbh. i'm not pregnant and not really planning to be anytime soon. but i'm one of those people that worries about simplyy everything way before it happens haha :] i just wanted to talk some things over. i really hope you won't judge me for anything i say. i'm just here for advice :]
well... my situation is this, i'm 17, 18 next year. ive been with my boyfriend for about a month and i love him more than anything in the world. i feel soso lucky to have found someone so special so early on in my life. for the last couple of weeks the subject of moving in together after graduation (we're both at college atm) next year has come up. i really want to, and i think he does too. but what i really want is a baby. this isnt just a silly phase i'm going through because ever since i was little myself i knew all i ever wanted to be was a mummy. i know my partner absolutely adores kids and whenver i see him with my nephews he's so natural with them. and a few nights ago he was talking about how happy he thinks i will be when i have a "little miracle" growing inside my belly. he was lying next to me and stroking his fingers across my stomach almost as if he wanted there to be something there. when i told to stop because he was making me broody he asked "do you wnat a baby?" n i didnt know what to say. i didnt want to say yes in case i terrified the poor guy :s i dont want to start trying to conceive yet, we havent been together long enough and besides, i dont think we could support a child quite yet. but i really hope its not too long before we can start trying. i'm not sure how to go about putting it to him though, when the time comes. ANY help would be absolutely amazing. but please be gentle.. i'm new!!

 

[Charlotte-j]

all i can say really is give it time. i got pregnant after me n my bf were together about 3months. we did the i love you's and planned our life togethre and everything. then when i was about 20 weeks he left me, deciding he didnt want another kid yet.
o just take ur time together, and good luck for the future

 

[kellysays2u]

It sounds like he would be open to it if you were. Most guys won't even mention kids like that if they don't want one. He definitely seems like he wants kids in the future. I think maybe you should just casually ask when do you want to have kids by be like i was thinking (insert your age here maybe plus a few years not to scare him to badly in case he isn't into the idea). That way your not saying I want them now your asking when he wants to start trying by.

It's good to talk about it and start saving money ahead of time so you will be financially backed up if a job has a problem. Maybe you can start a special savings account just for the future baby while you wait. Have fun with it while you are waiting to try. Just talk openly and honestly with him hunny.

Good luck!
Kelly

 

[Laura--x]

Hiya hun =)
Sounds like you got a lovelyy boyfriend there !
I really do understand what your saying..
Ever since i have been little, all i've ever wanted to do is be a mum. It's all i ever thought about, and i remember at 13,14,15 i kept thinking ' im getting older, closer to becoming a mum' and i'd get so happy !! I never thought about a career, because i knew i wanted a big loving family and that was it.
My and my boyfriend have been together 2 and a half years now, but i knew from about 3 months that he was the one for me, i just knew. And he is, alright we argue and he pisses me off like mad sometimes lol, i love him to pieces and i know i can't find anyone quite like him !!

We had talked about having a baby so so much, all the time, he wanted a baby just like your boyfriend, he wanted to be a dad and he wanted to have a little miracle with me. Then when it happened, it was a big shock. We both didn't know quite what to do. It was hard, scary, weird.

It's changed us both alot, we used to be inseperable, do everything together, but now, he likes to spend ALOT of times with his friends. I dont mind, it's just hard when all my friends have basically ditched me because i can't do normal stuff teenage girls do, so i get jealous and end up moaning at him when he spends a weekend with his mates cus i want him with me. We bicker over little stupid things which are really unnecessary, and it's just a strain on both of us.

Don't get me wrong, i am so unbeliveably happy and blessed to be having this life growing inside me, but there is so much more behind it than what you think. It changes EVERYTHING, some for the good, some for the bad, and it is alot of adjusting to get used too. I wanted to go to college, but couldnt because of being pregnant and not being able to finish the course, i wanted to get a job but no-one will employ a pregnant woman nowadays !! So my life atm is pretty shit, i do nothing but sit on my arse all day and mope around, i have no friends to be quite honest, my oh is at college all week, so it gets pretty lonely !! I know it will all be worth it in the end though and my little bundle of joy will keep me happy for the rest of my life !!

You and your boyfriend have been together just a month hun, that is not a long time at all. I know how much you want a baby and i know what its like, but just hold it out. Atleast give it a few months into your relationship so you know what this lad is really all about, what he thinks about the sitation and so on, because i know my boyfriend used to say he really wanted a baby, but now, his friends are the most important thing !!

Hope i aint babbled to much lol ! x

 

[Laura--x]

Just to clarify.. i know you arn't TTC or anything, im just letting you know about it all

x

 

[Ribeanaaa--x]

My EX was exactly the same..
Excellent with his neice & nephew, i meen he idolised them! && all he talked about from about a month of being together was how he coodnt wate to be a dad, how his kids wood be beautiful because they'd look like me, how he dont no how any1 cood ever walk out on there child.. (I wont go on i think you get the pic!)
I was no no no! There was no way i was going through labour at 17!
Well then after about 4 months together i managed to fall pregnant & although i coodnt wait for kids, we hadnt been together long, i was at college., id already had 1 abortion at 16..& i seriously thought shit!
But he wanted the baby & was excited & supportive, so we went ahead with the pregnancy. He was excellent at 1st & i member he wood sleep with his hand on my belly & was already talking about names when i was only like 8weeks!
Did it last...nooooooooo!
We split when i was about 12-13 weeks..& since he's been a complete & utter dick!
He will go 2months without phoning or txting..then want to speak to me 10times a day for a week...then disapear again.
Trust me just because they say they want a baby doesnt meen they are gonna stick around. Some boys just cant handle the thought of there life changing forever & it sends them off the rails, dispite them actually wanting the child in the 1st place.
Im not implyin that your boyfriend is like this, or that this is gonna happen to you, im just telling you my story...
I really hope everything works out for you hun, just dont rush into things..xxx

 

[princess_x0]

Hiya hun
You sound like you've got a keeper there.
I would say take things slow though. You never know how things are gunna turn out.
I'm same age as you. 18 in feb.
I've just come out of a relationship, we got together, he seemed like the one, I fell head over heals, and within a few months I was under his spell.
We spent 24/7 up eachothers backsides from the begining. Until about 6 months into the relationship, we had a bit of an unexpected error. I had forgotten to take a pill or 2 and fallen pregnant. Big woopsie daisy.
Of course we had already spoken about the "What ifs.." and he had always promised he would be by my side no matter what. I was absolutely over the moon, I thought I had it all, a doting a bf, and soon to be a mummy! I told him as soon as I knew and he was ok with it at first, said it was my choice if I wanted to keep it. He would stick by me. But after a couple of days he started avoiding me, telling me to get an abortion, I stuck to my guns and told him there was no way. Until I eventually gave in, scared I was gunna be left on my own with nothing to provide for a baby except my little part time job! I was terrified so I had a termination at 10 weeks 4 days. The worst mistake I've ever done.
After I had the abortion, I thought he would be ok with me again..Was he fuck? He just avoided me like the plague for about a month, until he started going on about trying for another - guilt talk. Of course this hurt me, why does he want a baby NOW after everything I put myself through for him? I had the implant fitted by then so that was a no go. We struggled a few extra months until I could take no more. And when I split up with him it turned out he had been cheating on me since I found out I was pregnant.
I'm telling you my story because I don't want you to rush into things hun, love is blind, don't let yourself get hurt. Tell him you ain't ready just yet. It's as simple as that. And if you lose him, there is plenty more fish in the sea. Best of luck xxx

 

[nikky0907]

Hey,welcome to BnB! :wave:

I just want to say that you really shouldn't think that far ahead.One month is a very short time and you really don't know where you'll be in a year or two.

You two just enjoy this time you have together,it seems like you have a wonderful relationship.
Babies are a blessing but they can put a strain on your relationship and it isn't easy.
You have a very short frame of your life where you are an independent person,building your life and future.Enjoy your freedom and youth and once your relationship on solid ground you can start thinking about that new addition.

 

[AmyyJanee]

Sounds like your boyfriend really does love you and you have a good relationship... Atleast you know he feels he can talk to you about things. But when it comes down to it and 9 months of mood swings, worries,m etc.. It can be a totally differnet story!

Its not just on your relationship together but your whole life.. i found my friends was dead excited when they found out i was pregnant.. but after 4/5 months hardly botherd with me! Its also alot more difficult trying to hand college work in, and finding time for yourself.
You should try and talk to him so you both know where you stand...

Ide been with my boyfriend for well over a year before i became pregnant (wasnt planned) an there was soo soo much we wanted too do together, before having a child to take along too. Like the first holidays abroad together.. We certainly wont be affording that for a few years so have too make doo with a week in Newquay lol!!
You dont realise how little time you get for yourself unitll its there.. Enjoy the times you can have whelst you havnt got the financhal strain of a baby and time for it!
If your relationships ment too be it will be.. no matter how long you wait =)

X

 

[mz_jackie86]

Hey girly,

Good to see your relationship is going well, but a month really is a short time to be thinking about babies and movin in together your so young and have alot of livin to do.
I fell pregnant when i was 18 with my boyfriend who i was with for 8 months and we had spoken bout babies and both said we werent ready and wanted to have fun before we make such a big commitment.
So when i did fall pregnant he instantly said get an abortion, i ended up havin a miscarriage, we broke up shortly after....

Im 22 and even now im thinkin sometimes im 2 young to have a kid, sometimes to immature for a kid and just not ready and i done all the mad stuff u do as a teen and travelled and all that jazz...

Please think about this really seriously and if it is all u want then great u sound like u would be a doting mum but think about it as somthin for life its a big decision to make cos its not just you to think about!!!

Time will tell if ur relationship is for keeps then think about having a baby....you still have alot of getting to no each other to do...xx

 

[LongRoadAhead]

Hun, You need to slow down alot.
You've only been with him for a month! I would say you shouldnt even be thinking about having children yet, your so early in the relationship. And if hes that much of a good catch then wait a few years before you start planning anything!
And your still young!

I was with my partner for 2 years and didnt even think about children but then I fell pregnant and it all went tits up and even though he loves kids, he told me to have an abortion. You just dont know how they will react ever untill it actually happens!
Things between us are fine now but all Im saying is pregnancy puts a HUGE strain on even the strongest relationships.
So seriously think carefully.
Everybody gets broody every now and then but you shouldnt let that decide whether your gunna have a child with someone you've been with a month.
Im not being mean or judging you just giving you a bit of advice, Im also 17 so know what you feel like but I would never of planned to get pregnant this young
Xx

 

[LilMiss_91]

I just wanna say a bigbiggg thankyou to all you lovely girlies that replied
just to make it absolutely clear, we're NOT ttc atm! i just wanna be prepared for when (or maybe i should say if?) the time comes. i think i probably will start a new savings account just in case anyway. even if it doesnt happen with my current bf i think it'd still be a good idea
and i really do think he's for keeps. he's definitely not the sort to walk out on me, i know that for sure. thankyou to everyone that replied
i'll probably be back sometime in the future
xxx

 

[vicky9207]

all i can say is that i think u should slow down a bit in ur relationship.

oh n welcome 2 bnb

 

[pinkmac85]

I agree with the others with saying you maybe need to slow down in your relationship. your boyfriend does seem lovely but keep in mind you guys are still in that honeymoon stage where everything seems lovely and you think there is nothing terrible about one another. A baby can change a relationship big time, especially when being young. I would just slow down a bit and enjoy your time together, you are both still very young with lots of life and fun ahead of you!
Welcome to BnB

 

[dizzy65]

all i can really say is do when u feel is right

 

[mrscookie]

and i really do think he's for keep. he's definitely not the sort to walk out on me, i know that for sure.
xxx

You can't possibly know that after just one month babe. I thought the same, then poooof.. 3 years later, off ''mr perfect'' went.....we were 17..

I'm now happily married to my husband, and we have been together 3 years also. Im now pregnant with number one, i'm 23 years old.

my advice..... WAIT alot longer than you plan to... I'd hate for this to all end in tears