Hmm awkward!

[bungle]

The moment you share your "news" with a friend and they assume that it's bad news!! Oh dear! Don't get me wrong we're not rolling in money but we both work, we own our own home and our two daughters never go without - swimming lessons, ballet lessons, outings etc. Bit sad to think somebody would imagine I wouldn't want another baby, I didn't think I'd ever made a secret of wanting a third.

Has anybody else been surprised by how their news has been received?

 

[Missnurse]

Oh my I'm there apparently my sister isn't happy and thinks I haven't given DS enough of a chance! Whatever that means 😐

 

[Amy2701]

I haven't shared my news yet (I'm 12wks 3days but haven't had 12 week scan yet), but I'm scared of this reaction. Our first two were very close together, and youngest is only 21 months right now. All of my babies have been planned, but I'm afraid some people might think this third is an "oopsie" baby. X

 

[Sarah1508]

My eldest sister had disowned me again this time round... I thought she might take the news okay since she has got her broodyness out of her system by having her own baby in August but apparently not.. Maybe I stole her thunder hah! I'm done with it all tbh she was like this last time I found out I was pregnant because I was so young and instead of being a supportive big sister she stopped talking to me for months then when it got closer to baby arriving she did a 180 and was far too nice all of a sudden and my mum even guilt tripped me into letting her into my 2nd scan and stay with her after I had the baby... I mean she was so lovely but soon turned again when I got engaged then nearly a year later after that started talking to me again for a few months befor finding out I was pregnant now it's back to square one... So yeah... I'm not letting her put a downer on this pregnancy!! she's home for Christmas as well so that should be interesting!

 

[bungle]

Thank you so much for the replies! My first two were 16mths apart and when I told my mum I was pregnant with DD2 she was very much of the mindset that I'd ruined DD1's life and hadn't allowed her to grow up enough. I think because she left a 3 year gap and then a 4 year gap that I should do the same but I've always felt that the gap between us was too big (7 years between me and my brother) and I didn't want the same for my children. I suppose we can't please everyone but it just makes me so sad that people who are old enough to know better would put such a downer on the announcement of a new human being. I can't imagine not feeling happy for somebody?

 

[Mushymilkfor2]

The worst reaction I got when telling people I was pregnant was if it was planned or not. He was very much planned!

 

[bungle]

The worst reaction I got when telling people I was pregnant was if it was planned or not. He was very much planned!

What do people expect you to say to that? People are very strange! Wish they'd think before they spoke x

 

[Ceejay123]

Well, I'm expecting my second... My other half was ecstatic (yay). My Mum was happy enough, Dad was good and sister asked how I felt about it then was very supportive.

In fact, I think the first time I was congratulated rather than questioned was actually today. x

 

[BoobsMcGee22]

If our bean sticks, we are planning to wait until Christmas. I know my inlaws with be over the moon, but my parents have been worried about us financially. DH just started a new job though so as long as that sticks, they should be happy too.

But DH and i have already been at odds about when to tell our immediate family!

 

[oliv]

Both our families were delighted but they all knew we were TTC

When I told my dad (who im not on great terms with) the conversation went like this:

Did Sienna tell you she is going to be a big sister?

Oh your pregnant again

End of conversation

 

[babytots]

With my youngest son my best friend completely blanked me when I announced the pregnancy and I found out through a mutual friend that she thought I was selfish for having another baby and that I wasn't thinking of my children. After that I cut all contact from her as she knew how much I went through with my losses and thought she would be more supportive. When I wouldn't accept her apology her mum waded in and took it upon herself to be quite nasty. That was the final straw. DH and I think she was just jealous as her marriage had not long broken down and she was broody for another baby.

With both my boys my mil wasn't happy about us having another baby (for selfish reasons) so we are going to wait as long as possible to tell her about this baby and if she doesn't like the fact we are living our lifes the way we want to then she'll have to lump it as her opinions don't come in to it when we decided to have a big family.

Determined not to let any negativity get in the way of this pregnancy from anyone. x

 

[bungle]

I agree babytots, I let other people's opinions get me down when I was pregnant with DD2 and it really affected the way I felt about her for a long time. I'm determined not to let that happen again but it's hard when its people whose opinions you care about x

 

[Sarah1508]

^ agreed! I'm going to try my hardest not to let her negativity put a downer on this pregnancy as well! Just it is difficult when it's your older sister :/

Also this time round I had the "was it planned? From her aswell bit I suppose it's an improvement from last times "your not keeping it are you?"

 

[greats]

If this little seed sticks then we decided we aren't telling anyone in our family until the new year and friends until we find out the gender. We were NTNP, but told everyone we were going to start trying for baby #2 after my SIL has her baby #2 in May. We wanted to give her all the attention since she hasn't had a baby in 12 years but low and behold we are pregnant now as well.

 

[minties]

My grandma said "you better be joking" when I told her I was pregnant with Sophie. She did apologise the next day though

 

[bungle]

My grandma said "you better be joking" when I told her I was pregnant with Sophie. She did apologise the next day though

My mum would say similar, she just wouldn't apologise afterwards! Another friend told me that if I overwhelm my mum with how happy I am then she won't be able to be negative...she's clearly never met my mother! Oh to surrounded by happy, life affirming people.

 

[MNgirl1991]

My MIL wasn't thrilled when we told her the news last weekend. All she had to say was "starting a family is a big deal, shouldn't be taken lightly," and "are you sure you're ready to be a dad?" (she mostly spoke to my husband and didn't even acknowledge me, the one actually pregnant with her future grandchild). My SIL was very happy for us, which I totally didn't expect because we haven't always gotten along and she JUST announced her pregnancy so I was so worried she'd think I was trying to steal her thunder. Lol
It's sad how the people closest to us can actually be the ones to cause the most hurt when something good happens in our lives..

 

[JumpingIn]

I have a particularly (at best) thoughtless (and at worst) immature brother who refers to our baby as "the sprog" and keeps implying that he needs to see me before I have the baby...as if he's not going to bother with us afterwards! I haven't seen him in person in years so it's definitely unusual. I said surely you'd want to come to see us when the baby is here so you can meet your niece or nephew, which he just ignored! He did ask how I was feeling a few days ago...Unfortunately, when I told him I was exhausted and carrying a baby was draining, he said it sounded like a tumour

Even wonderful reactions sometimes have a hint of the negative...My lovely MIL, who really is thrilled and means well, keeps saying "you can't have a baby, you're just a baby!" (I'm 26!) I know she's being sweet but it does make me wonder if she really believes in me as a mum.

I can't believe someone would assume it's bad news though, especially in your position!

 

[JumpingIn]

My MIL wasn't thrilled when we told her the news last weekend. All she had to say was "starting a family is a big deal, shouldn't be taken lightly," and "are you sure you're ready to be a dad?" (she mostly spoke to my husband and didn't even acknowledge me, the one actually pregnant with her future grandchild)

Ugh, how very rude!