Homebirth midwife - feeling seriously deflated

[Freya]

OK..... I'm starting to feel more deflated about my homebirth situation. The local team here are under Derby Hospital and it's been said already if there is an emergency I will have to go there (which I really dont want but guess I have no choice if I want my homebirth).

But the midwife I have seen worries me. Already at our first meeting she failed to take my bloods due to managing to miss the obvious pulsating vien. Today she told me off for not having them done at the walk in phlebotomy clinic..... but actually in the mean time I had changed my mind about having them as I'm having all my antenetal care at a local birth centre that just happens to be affiliated to a different hospital/PCT so my notes are for all to see! So having all the repeat bloods is to tick a box, and not for good purpose it seems. When I mentioned this she got snippy and insisted they needed them if I wanted a homebirth?? However.... I offered to have them taken by her there and then and she declined...... hmmmm, I suspect taking bloods is a competency issue for her perhaps?

I just felt like I was treated like an idiot. She had a student in with her and did not ask my permission if this was ok.... which for my own reasons I would have said no. I had my DD with me and just didnt have the energy to fight anything today.

She is young, and seems to be a 'by the book' kinda girl and I have this sinking feeling that if she attends the birth I'll be transferred to hospital because of her lack of experience/panic. I just dont want to have that kind of presence in the room when I'm in labour but dont know what to do.

Urrrgh. I dont think my post makes any sense. Just feeling low and crappy and without fight right now.

 

[Mervs Mum]

You DO have a choice honey. Even if they dont have the staff the HAVE to send someone. Staffing is not your issue. You will have a much tougher job on your hands on the day than they do

You're a Nurturing Birth doula arent you Freya? Why don't you Come and have a natter on the forum too?

 

[tristansmum]

if you are unhappy with your mw you are entitled to ask for another if you have good reason. this is the same for doctors, nurses ect.

 

[birdiex]

If she worries you, and you're having your antenatal care somewhere else, can you not switch to a midwife on the team that are doing your antenatal care? If not, try switching to a different midwife who seems more competant within the team that you're already being seen by. Either way, you DO have a choice and you CAN have your birth

 

[Freya]

Thanks for your replies girls. Really appreciate it, felt super sorry for myself yesterday but after thinking about it and feeling your support I'm back on it today!

Mervsmum: good to be reminded about my choices and their obligations. I felt ridiculously pathetic yesterday! Yes, still a trainee Nurturing Birth Doula. Attended one amazing birth so far. Baby will put a hold on completing training but I'll get there. Will pop on over!

Tristansmum: I've been on that today, called the local team, but have been told for the birth if 'that' midwife hapens to be on duty that day I'm stuck with her. I've asked for the clinical lead (their boss) to call me tomorrow to have a chat about my concerns so hopefully this will be constructive.

BirdieX: Have only just swapped to this team since I put my HB request in, had lovely care up until this point at the local birth centre (sadly they are affiliated to another hospital) But I think you're right, I could ask to see someone else, even if it means travelling to a different town (its a bit of a rural set up) it'll be worth it.

You girls are great. Thank you xx

 

[indigo_fairy]

Just wanted to stop by and say glad you are back on it today, I hate those 'it's all too much/not going to plan emotional days when everything feels too much, I'm so glad for these ladies support and knowledge.

That is really out of order that they've said if the MW in question is on duty you just have to put up with her as the worse case scenario is that your labour is stalled by her presence. You will at least be in your home and what you say goes so to speak, also you'll be too busy to worry about her anyway. I really hope I like the MW that gets sent to me or she may have a bit of a crappy shift at work. But at the end of the day it is 1 shift for a MW and I will spend the whole of my life remembering it, I'm not letting anyone get in the way of how I want my birth to be this time!

 

[birdiex]

Just wanted to stop by and say glad you are back on it today, I hate those 'it's all too much/not going to plan emotional days when everything feels too much, I'm so glad for these ladies support and knowledge.

That is really out of order that they've said if the MW in question is on duty you just have to put up with her as the worse case scenario is that your labour is stalled by her presence. You will at least be in your home and what you say goes so to speak, also you'll be too busy to worry about her anyway. I really hope I like the MW that gets sent to me or she may have a bit of a crappy shift at work. But at the end of the day it is 1 shift for a MW and I will spend the whole of my life remembering it, I'm not letting anyone get in the way of how I want my birth to be this time!

I agree with this, 100 million percent.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Amen to that!!

 

[Nikki_d72]

Good on you, Indigo! Damn true.

 

[Freya]

Indigo, so so true!!!! Xxx