C
Ceejay123
Guest
I've had the worst day in a long time. I've felt awful with PTSD/PND for a while anyway. I used to self-harm as a teenager before a suicide attempt due to something personal. I called it an addiction back then.. I'd try so hard not to do it, but in the end the craving would kick in.
Well my LO is my world, usually I can stay bright for him.. But today I can't see past the upsetting things in my life. Now he's gone to bed I've broken down crying. My Grandmothers been over today, we're unsure if she's going to make it out of surgery next week. She started to tell me so much about my family that's hurt me badly. Telling me things about my cousins, my Grandad.. She got upset that she won't see my LO grow up
I honestly felt the urge to self-harm today. I didn't do it - I kept telling myself I'd be no sort of mother if I did that. I wouldn't deserve my son's respect or deserve him looking up to me. It's been hard, but I kept strong for my little boy.
I feel like I really need someone to talk to, about everything that's going on in my life. So many disputes, so many people bitching about me, trying to hurt me. Family being unsupportive, friends disappearing into the background. I'm at my wits end, I've had enough. I don't know what to do, how to move forwards. I've made efforts with people that hurt me, it didn't make a difference to my mental state. Now, if my gran passes... I don't know what I'll do. I feel like such an awful mother.
Well my LO is my world, usually I can stay bright for him.. But today I can't see past the upsetting things in my life. Now he's gone to bed I've broken down crying. My Grandmothers been over today, we're unsure if she's going to make it out of surgery next week. She started to tell me so much about my family that's hurt me badly. Telling me things about my cousins, my Grandad.. She got upset that she won't see my LO grow up
I honestly felt the urge to self-harm today. I didn't do it - I kept telling myself I'd be no sort of mother if I did that. I wouldn't deserve my son's respect or deserve him looking up to me. It's been hard, but I kept strong for my little boy.
I feel like I really need someone to talk to, about everything that's going on in my life. So many disputes, so many people bitching about me, trying to hurt me. Family being unsupportive, friends disappearing into the background. I'm at my wits end, I've had enough.
I don't know what to do, how to move forwards. I've made efforts with people that hurt me, it didn't make a difference to my mental state. Now, if my gran passes... I don't know what I'll do. I feel like such an awful mother.
