Hopelessness.

Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by 112110, Mar 29, 2011.

  1. 112110

    112110 Mommy of 1

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    I posted this is teen parenting but then realized maybe it should go here instead?! :dohh:

    Lately I've been having the feeling of
    I'm never going to find a man, I'm never going to fall in love, why would anybody want to date someone who has a child?! I am going to be alone forever and become a creepy old lady with 94 cats. :nope:
    SOMEONE PLEASE tell me something reassuring!? I'm depressing myself with my own thoughts. :cry:
     
  2. Me_Mi

    Me_Mi Well-Known Member

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    It can be a hard feeling, to feel like you are going to be alone forever. Here is my take on it....

    not only will you find love, but the man you find is probably going to be a great guy. A man that is going to love you and your child u can know from the get go is a caring and understanding man. It can take time to find the perfect step daddy, but when u do find him itll be more meaningful than anything before.
     
  3. NuKe

    NuKe mummy to 2 gorgeous girls

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    i dont know if this will be reassuring but here goes...

    YOU DON'T NEED A MAN. Sure, it would be awesome if you fell madly in love next month, got married and spent the rest of your lives together. But you don't need a man to be happy! Personally, I think you should work on your self-confidence a bit, there's nothing more attractive than a strong confident woman. If you sort your head out, you might find that you meet a guy when you least expect it! But if you don't, that's ok too because we don't need men to make us happy!!!!!!! If that was a bit harsh, I apologise, but that's what I would say to a friend. :flower:
     
  4. Rhio92

    Rhio92 Connor, Saskia, OH & Me

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    No advice sorry hun, I know that feeling too well. Stay strong :hugs: x
     
  5. jen1604

    jen1604 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with Nuke, you don't need a man, you can do just as well and be just as happy without one.

    Just take your time and dont stress and you will find someone :kiss:
     
  6. lal

    lal Well-Known Member

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    I haven't switched teams or anything (yet, haha), but I have found that being around other moms/single moms is amazing for my mood, my outlook, and my attitude. And lots of single moms get married. My mom did :) with 2 kids, no less. And my stepdad is wonderful. She met him at an ice cream shop. You just never know. Don't waste your time being sad about it though, I know it's hard not to think about but just know that it will work out in time, and until then, you have the true love of your life already! When I get upset, I literally cannot stay that way when I look at my son. He's so happy he makes my heart move. I wouldn't trade him for marrying George Clooney, so I guess focus on what you do have - think about people that don't have their kids (morbid I know but true) and what they would give to be in your position. You have him, your whole life, and freedom to choose whether or not you want someone else in the family someday. It's pretty great, really.
     
  7. billy2mm

    billy2mm Mum of 2 cheeky monkeys!!

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    i felt the same but you will find someone.

    i looked at all those i knew who were single mums who bounced from relationship to relationship and wondered how they did it (meeting all the men) then i looked at myself and realised i was so much happier on my own and my kids werent constantly meeting men coming in and out of their lives.

    i then met my oh (online) and we are pretty good. i got bored one day and signed up to an online dating site for a laugh and the rest is history really.

    enjoy being on your own hun. there are men out there that understand we all have history and in this day and age alot of people have kids and esp at our age (im 26 he is 27) that one of us is bound to have kids.
     
  8. BeautifulD

    BeautifulD Mum to 3 and TTC #4

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    Firstly this cracked me up :rofl: of course you're not sweetie :hugs:


    Darling, it took me a lot of years to realise that I don't need a man to get along and be happy in my life, I make my own (and my kids) happyness, for the most part I am happy and content but I sure do miss having that someone special in my life... I went through a stage of serial dating (very few came into my girls lives, I don't agree with that) because I felt I NEEDED a man, boy I was wrong and because I was in that frame of mind I came across many many frogs who just turned into toads when I kissed them.... no where near good enough for me and my princesses... I think the ole cleche is true " you will find what you are looking for when you're not looking for it" I know its hard and at times lonely hun and im sending you big big :hugs:
     
  9. BeautifulD

    BeautifulD Mum to 3 and TTC #4

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    Completely agree :D
     
  10. Maybe1stBaby

    Maybe1stBaby Muffin in the muff!

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    Frankly I'd rather be the cat lady. :hugs:
     
  11. littlekitten8

    littlekitten8 Mummy of 1

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    I know its difficult. I've been on my own for a few months and I honestly right now am finding it easier to be on my own! My sister was a single mum for a while and now she is with an amazing guy and they have a child together. It will happen. I agree that you need to work on your self confidence though. Guys want someone who appears to be happy in their own skin.
     
  12. lulu35

    lulu35 Well-Known Member

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    i know how you feel, i sometimes feel like that and ive got 4 kids...not exactly a great catch for many men!!...but...i have my girls and that means more to me than having a man in my life just for the sake of it, i know it will happen one day but until then im just making life the best i can for me and my girls...if its meant to be it will be :hugs:
     
  13. 18singlemom2b

    18singlemom2b Well-Known Member

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    we all feel the same way sometimes. in fact, i've been especially down lately thinking about how i'm alone and about to have my baby. fob turned out to be such a disappointment and so different than i expected, i still hurt from mourning the person that i thought he was. i know im better off without a man at this point, and i even want to be single, but at the same time i just feel lonely and empty at times. i know one day the right guy will come, and there's no rush but i still doubt if i can ever be really happy. i have been betrayed so much in the past, i'm not sure i really believe in true love anymore.
     

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