Horrific anxiety after chemical pregnancy

[S_Dowd]

Background: TTC for 11.5 years. Finally conceived on August 21st. Had some crazy stomach issues, heartburn, and nausea from 9dpo until I tested positive 1 day late at 14 dpo with afternoon urine. The line was light, but DH and I could both easily see it without squinting lol. We were so excited. We celebrated that whole day and it was wonderful. I had started to think I would never ever get to experience a day like that. I knew I could miscarry, and I said as much to my husband. But I really just wanted to enjoy the day and the moment because at that moment I was pregnant. That night, I had a dream that I was bleeding. I woke up, and I just knew it was over. I took a test and I couldn't see a line and I started spotting. I was sad, but I tried to focus on the positive that I did get pregnant. We decided to keep trying.

My hormones do seem a little wonky now. I geared up to ovulate 3 times before I finally did 21 days after my miscarriage which isn't like me. I had a week of fertile CM starting and stopping. I finally ovulated on Monday, Sept. 26th. And the next day I started having weird stomach issues and horrific anxiety. My stomach issues are better, now, but the anxiety is still here. It's overwhelming. I'm scared to get pregnant again. I'm scared not to get pregnant again. I'm scared my husband and I are going to die soon or something bad is going to happen. And it's irrational, but it builds and sends me into a panic. And sometimes I'm feeling anxious and panicky with no anxious thoughts at all. It seems to come in waves, and I 100% think it's related to my hormones. Has anyone else experienced increased anxiety after a miscarriage? Early or later? Anything help you to cope? Right now I'm literally in the bathtub as warm baths seem to be the only thing that is really helping to keep my anxiety levels down. Ugh, I promise I'm not usually such a mess. Before getting pregnant in August, I was the happiest I've been in years and totally calm and relaxed, so this is totally throwing me for a loop.

 

[S_Dowd]

I just wanted to post how I'm doing now in case it can help someone else who is dealing with this. I'm feeling much better and my anxiety has gone away as quickly as it arrived. I found exercise and listening to music with binaural beats were the most helpful. Massage and warm baths also helped quite a bit. If anyone is reading this and dealing with something similar, I hope you feel better soon. Anxiety is the worst.