Paxton
Mum + Wife-to-be
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- Mar 29, 2009
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I had to be induced. I had three injections (one a day, over the course of three days) of Prostin Gel (they squirt it up your flower) and each time it gave mild contractions, but nothing really insane. Oh, and it hurt. But the bits that followed made the gel a walk in the park 
After the three injections, my waters still hadn't broke and I was only 70% effaced and 2cm dialated... they decided they were going to try oxytocin - which I later found out was another name for pitocin, which I'd heard bad things about and was smacking myself because I didn't want to take pitocin - but I didn't know that's what oxytocin was! The pitocin/oxytocin causes contractions to come long and hard and, by the time I was in a good amount of pain (whimpering, my leg was shaking, I was squeezing DH's hand so hard it was turning purple), they gave me a shot of morphine in the hip and it did nothing. Then I decided, okay. A needle in the back isn't going to hurt THIS much, so I asked for the epidural. The anethesiologist took almost a full hour of getting to me - an hour of epic pain, but that still wasn't the worst of it. The epidural worked well enough, I could only mildly feel the contractions and I managed to get some much-needed rest.
By the time I was 100% effaced and completely dialated, there was still no urge to push or anything. They took me to the OR for a forceps delivery, because although the head was down, it was craned at an odd angle and needed to be turned. They refused to let DH go and tell my dad - who was waiting in the lounge - what was going on because there wasn't enough time. They wheeled me off to the OR. They prepped me, verbally, saying things like, "If this doesn't work, you're going to have a c-section, so when I tell you to push, you put all of your strength and will into it, push like you've never pushed before!" And then they started. I felt something, similar to an internal exam, and the area between my right hip and my crotch started hurting really badly. And then suddenly they were saying c-section, I'm going to have to have a c-section. And they didn't tell me why, or explain anything, and they hadn't told me even one time to push.
I tried not to panic, my DH is super-sensitive and I didn't want to upset him. As they put an oxygen mask on me, I told the nurse - I know some people are kept conscious for this, but I don't want to be. I won't be able to handle it, I want to be put unconscious. The nurse tried to placate me, saying that they were going to put a tarp up so I couldn't see anything, everything was going to be fine. I tried to insist, and the doctor cut in saying that putting me unconscious with the baby still in me would be bad for the baby and we want what's best for the baby, now don't we? So I was basically guilted into shutting up about it. I tried to reassure myself that it wouldn't be that bad, just a few feelings of pulling and tugging, and then it would be over. I did cry though - the only thing I had wished for with the delivery was to not have a c-section. And my worst-case-scenario was that if I had a c-section, I would get them to put me unconscious. Real life, apparently, trumps worst-case-scenario. I also recall pulling the oxygen mask off at one point in here, they tried to put it back on me, but I felt like I was going to puke. Which I did, but thankfully in a deep tray rather than all over the table. And I remember it was a lot... like 3/4s of a litre or something like that.
They poked me in various places on my stomach to test what bits of me were numb and which weren't, and decided I wasn't numb enough so they gave me a second epidural - they didn't even ask if they could, they just did, but I guess that's really the only way to do it? My hip pain had gotten rather bad at this point (a stabby, burning pain) and I had really hard, uncontrollable, whole-body shaking. DH looked stricken, the poor boy. For the first epidural, the guy was very adament that I KEEP STILL and I kept wondering, how on EARTH was this going to be okay with them giving me an epidural when I can't stay even remotely still? They tried to put it in twice, was apparently successfully the second time. I passed the needle-poking-my-stomach test and they started to cut me open.
It was just tugs and pulls at first. But then I could feel their hands in me. I could feel them moving my insides around and I could feel pain, like somebody had just shot me in the stomach with a canon-ball. The last memory I have, is laying on the table, my entire body shaking, my eyes streaming, I'm a little bit more than whimpering and I'm staring at DH while he is panicking trying to hail the attention of a nurse because I can feel everything and then the doctor says, "He's out, the baby's out now." And I don't remember what happened after that, except waking up in Recovery.
DH filled me in on a few things after... he told me that I was still conscious after my last memory. That I was writhing and screaming and something about trying to hold me down. They told him to come over and see the child, and they asked him something (he doesn't remember what) and apparently his face went completely white and they thought he was going to pass out, so they kicked him out of the room.
From Recovery, we were wheeled to the room where we would be staying. I was booked for the Ward, but since I was to be put on a nasal tube feeding me oxygen, I was given a private room. I speculated that the pain in my hip was caused by something going wrong with the forceps delivery - hitting a nerve or something - but one of the nurses filled us in saying that they couldn't actually get the forceps in me because the birth canal was too small. When they cut me open, they discovered that Evan's head was at a funny angle because he had tried to be born, but he got stuck because I was too small. And, DH said, Evan's feet were trapped up under my ribcage. We were stuck in-hospital for five days before they let us go. They were convinced Evan was jaundiced, but the yellow tinge was more of the lighting in the room and the yellow blanket we had him wrapped in. They say he's really small (birth weight 7lbs, 1 oz.), and were talking about him like a premmie, despite the fact he was in me for 42 weeks, 1 day. We didn't get any sleep at all, there was a colicky baby in the ward down the hall and the place was plagued with constant screaming.
For the moment, my feet and legs are swollen to ginormous proportions, so big that they hurt and I can barely walk. On top of that, I'm not allowed to carry anything heavier than the child (about 7lbs). Both of these annoyances are going to last, the doctors say, about 3-6 weeks. DH is emotionally distraught about the whole ordeal, he saw them messing about with my insides and he thought I was going to die.
Evan is an absolute joy. He sleeps good, we wake him up every 3-4 hours to feed and change him. When he is awake, he's really laid back, just looking and taking in the world around him. He only cries when he's cold. Ie: bathes, you-took-my-blanket-away-how-dare-you, etc. He didn't even cry when Mo (our cat) jumped on him while he was sleeping. He's adorable, looks nothing like me. Really, really dark eyes. They're just coming in as blue, but I could have sworn they were dark purple.
My God, it's good to be home.
Evan, one his first day old...
https://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs190.snc1/6400_98246164098_506144098_1880372_4126419_n.jpg
Evan with his daddy... I LOVE this picture so so sooooo much...
https://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs147.snc1/5480_224348460712_620740712_7660500_4366855_n.jpg
EDIT:: Now that I've done some research on the subject of c-sections, apparently they were supposed to give me a catheter before they cut me open. That would explain the hip-area pain, I think. Really, reeeally needing to go to the washroom And, for what I know this is normal but I thought it was a kind of neat detail, I lost 2L of blood.
After the three injections, my waters still hadn't broke and I was only 70% effaced and 2cm dialated... they decided they were going to try oxytocin - which I later found out was another name for pitocin, which I'd heard bad things about and was smacking myself because I didn't want to take pitocin - but I didn't know that's what oxytocin was! The pitocin/oxytocin causes contractions to come long and hard and, by the time I was in a good amount of pain (whimpering, my leg was shaking, I was squeezing DH's hand so hard it was turning purple), they gave me a shot of morphine in the hip and it did nothing. Then I decided, okay. A needle in the back isn't going to hurt THIS much, so I asked for the epidural. The anethesiologist took almost a full hour of getting to me - an hour of epic pain, but that still wasn't the worst of it. The epidural worked well enough, I could only mildly feel the contractions and I managed to get some much-needed rest.
By the time I was 100% effaced and completely dialated, there was still no urge to push or anything. They took me to the OR for a forceps delivery, because although the head was down, it was craned at an odd angle and needed to be turned. They refused to let DH go and tell my dad - who was waiting in the lounge - what was going on because there wasn't enough time. They wheeled me off to the OR. They prepped me, verbally, saying things like, "If this doesn't work, you're going to have a c-section, so when I tell you to push, you put all of your strength and will into it, push like you've never pushed before!" And then they started. I felt something, similar to an internal exam, and the area between my right hip and my crotch started hurting really badly. And then suddenly they were saying c-section, I'm going to have to have a c-section. And they didn't tell me why, or explain anything, and they hadn't told me even one time to push.
I tried not to panic, my DH is super-sensitive and I didn't want to upset him. As they put an oxygen mask on me, I told the nurse - I know some people are kept conscious for this, but I don't want to be. I won't be able to handle it, I want to be put unconscious. The nurse tried to placate me, saying that they were going to put a tarp up so I couldn't see anything, everything was going to be fine. I tried to insist, and the doctor cut in saying that putting me unconscious with the baby still in me would be bad for the baby and we want what's best for the baby, now don't we? So I was basically guilted into shutting up about it. I tried to reassure myself that it wouldn't be that bad, just a few feelings of pulling and tugging, and then it would be over. I did cry though - the only thing I had wished for with the delivery was to not have a c-section. And my worst-case-scenario was that if I had a c-section, I would get them to put me unconscious. Real life, apparently, trumps worst-case-scenario. I also recall pulling the oxygen mask off at one point in here, they tried to put it back on me, but I felt like I was going to puke. Which I did, but thankfully in a deep tray rather than all over the table. And I remember it was a lot... like 3/4s of a litre or something like that.
They poked me in various places on my stomach to test what bits of me were numb and which weren't, and decided I wasn't numb enough so they gave me a second epidural - they didn't even ask if they could, they just did, but I guess that's really the only way to do it? My hip pain had gotten rather bad at this point (a stabby, burning pain) and I had really hard, uncontrollable, whole-body shaking. DH looked stricken, the poor boy. For the first epidural, the guy was very adament that I KEEP STILL and I kept wondering, how on EARTH was this going to be okay with them giving me an epidural when I can't stay even remotely still? They tried to put it in twice, was apparently successfully the second time. I passed the needle-poking-my-stomach test and they started to cut me open.
It was just tugs and pulls at first. But then I could feel their hands in me. I could feel them moving my insides around and I could feel pain, like somebody had just shot me in the stomach with a canon-ball. The last memory I have, is laying on the table, my entire body shaking, my eyes streaming, I'm a little bit more than whimpering and I'm staring at DH while he is panicking trying to hail the attention of a nurse because I can feel everything and then the doctor says, "He's out, the baby's out now." And I don't remember what happened after that, except waking up in Recovery.
DH filled me in on a few things after... he told me that I was still conscious after my last memory. That I was writhing and screaming and something about trying to hold me down. They told him to come over and see the child, and they asked him something (he doesn't remember what) and apparently his face went completely white and they thought he was going to pass out, so they kicked him out of the room.
From Recovery, we were wheeled to the room where we would be staying. I was booked for the Ward, but since I was to be put on a nasal tube feeding me oxygen, I was given a private room. I speculated that the pain in my hip was caused by something going wrong with the forceps delivery - hitting a nerve or something - but one of the nurses filled us in saying that they couldn't actually get the forceps in me because the birth canal was too small. When they cut me open, they discovered that Evan's head was at a funny angle because he had tried to be born, but he got stuck because I was too small. And, DH said, Evan's feet were trapped up under my ribcage. We were stuck in-hospital for five days before they let us go. They were convinced Evan was jaundiced, but the yellow tinge was more of the lighting in the room and the yellow blanket we had him wrapped in. They say he's really small (birth weight 7lbs, 1 oz.), and were talking about him like a premmie, despite the fact he was in me for 42 weeks, 1 day. We didn't get any sleep at all, there was a colicky baby in the ward down the hall and the place was plagued with constant screaming.
For the moment, my feet and legs are swollen to ginormous proportions, so big that they hurt and I can barely walk. On top of that, I'm not allowed to carry anything heavier than the child (about 7lbs). Both of these annoyances are going to last, the doctors say, about 3-6 weeks. DH is emotionally distraught about the whole ordeal, he saw them messing about with my insides and he thought I was going to die.
Evan is an absolute joy. He sleeps good, we wake him up every 3-4 hours to feed and change him. When he is awake, he's really laid back, just looking and taking in the world around him. He only cries when he's cold. Ie: bathes, you-took-my-blanket-away-how-dare-you, etc. He didn't even cry when Mo (our cat) jumped on him while he was sleeping. He's adorable, looks nothing like me. Really, really dark eyes. They're just coming in as blue, but I could have sworn they were dark purple.
My God, it's good to be home.
Evan, one his first day old...
https://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs190.snc1/6400_98246164098_506144098_1880372_4126419_n.jpg
Evan with his daddy... I LOVE this picture so so sooooo much...
https://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs147.snc1/5480_224348460712_620740712_7660500_4366855_n.jpg
EDIT:: Now that I've done some research on the subject of c-sections, apparently they were supposed to give me a catheter before they cut me open. That would explain the hip-area pain, I think. Really, reeeally needing to go to the washroom
And, for what I know this is normal but I thought it was a kind of neat detail, I lost 2L of blood.
anyhow nearly 6 wks later i am feeling loads better ...i felt like death the first 3 wks ...it does get better 
The getting better part, that is. Although it's good to know I'm not alone in this insane experience. 
