House is officially a state :-(

[laura109]

Ahhh does anyone else feel like they are in a battle. I can not find the energy to do anything other than wash clothes, wash up and put dd stuff back in the toybox and hoover. My whole house needs a massive clean and oh has no energy it seems either. Im starting to dispair. I thought my ms had gone but this weekend the nausea has hit me again. I have no energy and just want to lay down. Oh has looked after our two year old but he cant work around her like i can usually. He works hard all week and for the last 6 weekends we have just moped about at home whilst i rest. He does take dd for walls etc he really is great but today hes tired and i kind of selfishly hoped he might hoover through and put some washing away. He's currently asleep. He deserves to be asleep so I just forced myself to load the washer make dd tea and wash up. Now i feel like if i do anything else i will drop to the floor.

Nowhere has been dusted for ages
Our new bedroom furniture needs cleaning
Our bedding needs washing
Dd bedding needs washing
Our stairs need hoovering
A massive basket of clothes needs putting away
Another chair full of clothes needs taking upstairs
The airer needs emptying
Our windows need the hand prints cleaning off them
Our back bedroom needs clearing out and decorating so dd can have more space, a bed and most of her toys need to go upstairs, i am fed up of trying to put away a million toys everyday mixed in with crumbs and everything else she gets out.
The floors need steaming
The bins need emptying

Im close to tears everytime someone wants to come over. Its effort to get the house tidy let alone wash my hair, get dressed and put abit of makeup on.

We also need bedroom curtains. Weve not had any since decorating last month and its driving me mad!!!

Aghhh please tell me its not just me whos house has gone to pot

 

[Zephram]

It's hard to be pregnant with a toddler. My house was a right mess too last pregnancy! Don't stress about it, get used to some chaos, it's normal.

 

[sarah1980]

I can completely sympathise! Ive felt the same all the way through, had hyperemesis at the start and now SPD both of which have made me want to do nothing but lie in bed all day. I wish I was able to let it go but I really can't sit down and relax unless the house is clean and tidy!

 

[Sarahcake]

I have so much washing to put away I work in nursing so it's a physically demanding job and by the time I get home I'm just broken. My days off are then spent willing myself to do the smallest bits of housework.

I have gotten up early today as my son has his school home visit and I'm manically trying to clean and it's all just shite. So tired.

 

[WackyMumof2]

If it helps, I FAILED my last house inspection. I'm so damn busy every day that I hadn't given a s**t about the house work - I'd hoovered and done the dishes but that was it - for 6 weeks. I haven't even had time to sit down and study. But the house looked like a tornado had ripped though it. And you guessed it, I got a Compliance letter.

So we had a month and the 2 days before our re-inspection my new lounge suite arrived so the house was still, in a state of disarray. Manageable but not bad. I'd hoovered every floor in the house, steam mopped the kitchen, toilet, bathroom, laundry, cleaned oven, cupboards, bedroom, lounge. You name it, I did it - expect for the old lounge suite. Part is in a mess at the front door because I'm stripping it apart for firewood, the other I have arranged for my landlord to take to the dump for me. The only thing I hadn't done was washing the walls, windows and windows surrounds. My laundry is is boxes around the house because I don't have room to put them and the kids clutter on my China cabinet I'm not stressing. Considering I did it all on my own (kids did their room) and my 7 year old has severe ADHD, I think I did okay.

But no. Inspector wasn't happy even though you could SEE I had done a Hell of a lot. So we've been threatened with eviction. Only to find out that it's not up to her and our landlord doesn't want us to leave unless we want too.

Anyhow, the moral of the story is this: pregnant or not, you can NOT be Superwoman and do the whole job on your own. People are going to be unhappy but that's not your problem so don't beat yourself up. Just do a couple of rooms at a time and put in several hours a day. Life doesn't stop. Get the kids involved - make it fun for them. Give them damp clothes to help with polishing windows etc. And then at the end, everyone can sit down for a long deserved cuddle. But we also need to let our children know that they are expected to help because we all have a part to play in the home.

You will get there. Don't beat yourself up. And if those who claim to care moan about what you have/have not done, well then they can pull finger and help you out.

 

[laura109]

Thanks ladies. Its so hard once it gets on top of you. There's not enough hours in a weekend for everything anymore, i got up today though and tackled the basket of clean washing, bleached my sink and stripped dd bed and i feel a little happier even though its a state still. Im going to aim to hoover and wash my bedroom furniture down now.

Inspections must be awful. We are buying our house so thankfully we don't get nosey people around to judge us. Its such an intrusive thing. As long as you arnt damaging the property it's irrelevant surely

I admire people who work through pregnancy. Its absolutely draining at home with a toddler so i cant imagine having to function to get through a day's work. Im slowly coming out the first trimester now so i am hoping that my energy returns and i wont feel so nauseous anymore. I had my scan tuesday too found out im due Christmas eve! The first scan certainly feels like a milestone reached doesn't it x

 

[WackyMumof2]

I hate inspections. I would have thought as long as there was no damage too but what would I know? Lol. People are so judgmental and then I was told because I hadn't disclosed my son's ADHD that it was no excuse and wouldn't even put herself in my shoes. People like her make it hard for parents like me to get funding for this. And she even ADMITTED it's very real but told me in not so many words I was full of shit. I study full-time, am a full-time Mum of 3 and one on the way, work part-time (hubby is at home with the baby), and deal with appointments for myself and my 2 eldest kids. I can't be Superwoman. Told her to piss off back to South Africa. Feel bad because I have a lot of South African friends but she just really got under my skin. And she asked my partner if I was pregnant?! Like since when was asking very personal questions about a stranger part of her job?!

We would love to buy where we are one day but I don't have a lot of support because it needs a lot of work. But at least we know about it and if we do buy there are no surprises. And we can eventually rent it out as 5 bedrooms with a pool and granny flat for $450 a week if we renovate the way I plan to.

And it sounds like you are on a roll so keep going! You've got it!

 

[laura109]

Thank you! Wow you sound like you are superwoman already to me lol. I hate how ignorant people can be. Its none of her business if you are pregnant either! Omg she would of wound me up too!! When are you expecting your new addition? We dont all get people helping us do we. My partners mum does everything for his sister from housework to child are to dog sitting. We have nobody to help us. Sometimes when i feel like im failing i just have to remind myself that. You are doing a great job too!! Its not easy to get on the property ladder anymore is it. I was lucky as my parents were moving so they paid the deposit so i could buy it off them. Otherwise id be probably still renting xx

 

[laura109]

P.s the pool sounds amazing lol. X

 

[WackyMumof2]

Thank you! Wow you sound like you are superwoman already to me lol. I hate how ignorant people can be. Its none of her business if you are pregnant either! Omg she would of wound me up too!! When are you expecting your new addition? We dont all get people helping us do we. My partners mum does everything for his sister from housework to child are to dog sitting. We have nobody to help us. Sometimes when i feel like im failing i just have to remind myself that. You are doing a great job too!! Its not easy to get on the property ladder anymore is it. I was lucky as my parents were moving so they paid the deposit so i could buy it off them. Otherwise id be probably still renting xx

Not Superwoman though sometimes I wish I was. I just appear to have my s**t together. Lol. Feb 2nd this one is due but suspect it will arrive on my sister's 27th Birthday which is Jan 21st. I am actually going to inform my landlord and tell him I don't want her (or anyone from that company) in my home. I've heard a LOT of stories about incompetence etc. And it's only for Insurance purposes anyhow. I'll even HELP with the difference every quarter if it's going to cost him slightly more! Already told him I'm happy to paint the ceilings just so I can clean the darn things. Last landlord just used water-based paint. He wanted the revenue but didn't want to do the job properly so a lot of issues we won't tell our new landlord if we don't need to.

As for the property ladder, cheapies start at $125,000. That's a LOT of money for a house that need a lot of work. Mind you, the average house price of a 3 bedroom in Auckland is $500,000 and how many people can afford that?! Property in NZ is not affordable under our current Government.

You may not have the help your MIL gives your SIL but at least you are self-sufficiant!! Even if it's not perfect, it's your work!! Lazy people (and your SIL sounds like one) just really annoy me. Be proud that you are doing what you need to do and not expecting someone else to do it for you. Buy all means, ask for help if you need it but keep going as you are. The rewards at the end will be worth it.

 

[xdxxtx]

Are you feeling any better yet? I started to get a BIT of energy for a few weeks at around 17 weeks along or so with this pregnancy... Until then, I made a list every day of 5 things I'd get done. It looked like: Unload dishwasher, load dishwasher, wipe counters, wipe down 1 bathroom, 1 load of laundry. With four kids (at the time, ages 5, 3, 2, baby), it was NOT easy, but if I didn't do laundry for more than 2 days, we'd have baskets of dirty laundry everywhere, and it would take days more to get it all done.

I agree. Once it's a mess, it's REALLY hard to get started again because it's overwhelming as anything!!!!!!!! I try to get myself started with a 10 minute timer, saying I'm just gonna do tidying up and putting things where they belong for 10 minutes. After the timer goes off, the house looks MUCH better, if not perfectly tidy, and I can BREATHE again. Right now, being so heavily pregnant, I'll do 10-15 minutes of tidying, then break for an hour! Then I'll do dishes all the way through. Then another hour break (playing with kids, reading to them, homeschool, nursing baby, etc). Then, I'll wipe down counters and scrub out the sinks. Then another long break. Then I'll quickly wipe down the powder room one time after I pee. Later, I'll sweep or vacuum, which HAS to get done every day or we get ants. Every other day, I'll do a quick mopping.

 

[laura109]

Hiya that sounds like good tips. Its the basic that matter i agree. I feel better than them first 5 weeks but i still feel off here and there and fatigue is still causing a problem. If im having a good day and get a good amount done i seem to pay for it later. I bet you cant wait now for the new arrival. Its still a long way of for me. House is still upside down but i can get bits done. My bathroom is tomorrows goal. The heat is making things tricky too at the moment. Thank you for your reply. I think i had more energy back by 4 months last time. It doesnt look as though its coming yet though, just want to feel good now and enjoy planning
Our new arrival

 

[Vicki_Cream]

I've been writing myself a to do list every day with about 3 things on (I. E. Hoover, steam floors & do 1 load of laundry. Next day it'd be clean bathroom and do dusting/polishing etc etc). I've got HG and my partner has a chronic illness, plus we have a 3 year old running around, the place was disgusting IMO as I am usually a bit of a clean freak. It was really getting me down, and the longer I left it the more over whelmed I felt. Since I'm starting to feel a little more human now, I have found doing a couple of chores a day has made a massive difference. My partner has been wonderful and sorting the dishwasher out and doing most of the cooking as the kitchen still makes me heave, yay horrendous smell aversions!