How bad is labour and birth...???

[Louise88]

Cordelia they know roughly when your 10cm because of how open your cervix is which is why they have to place their fingers up there it should be explained at your anti natal classes but you know your ready to push because your body will automatically start doing it you don't have a choice when babies coming its coming! I remember just chatting away to my hubby and all of a sudden I just started pushing lol

 

[Louise88]

Sorry just realised you weren't asking that in general and you were actually asking someone else

 

[solitaire89]

Mindutopia - I assumed they did regular cervical checks anyway just to see how dilated you are. How do they know when you're at 10cm and ready to push otherwise? This is interesting as I never would've thought to refuse a cervical exam, just assumed it was part of the process..

you don't have to have any internal exams if you don't want. I certainly didn't want them. I did have 2 in the end though. One because the mw wanted to know what sort of time to expect to return to the house (though this ended up as a complete waste of time, as her estimate was late the next morning, and dd arrived in the early hours) and the second was after my body had been pushing for an hour or so and to check that I wasn't pushing against a lip. There are other non-invasive ways to estimate dilation, as well as the fact that a bad experience can cause the cervix to close up again. As for when to push, your body knows when, so you can just go with it.
A lot of people assume it is 'part of the process", the same as lying on your back to birth. At the end of the day, it is for the medics benefit.

 

[CordeliaJ]

Cordelia they know roughly when your 10cm because of how open your cervix is which is why they have to place their fingers up there it should be explained at your anti natal classes but you know your ready to push because your body will automatically start doing it you don't have a choice when babies coming its coming! I remember just chatting away to my hubby and all of a sudden I just started pushing lol

Thanks Louise, no worries, jump right in because it's great to hear opinions. I'll tell you something weird that my mother has scared me about. She told me when she was in labour she felt the urge to push, and pushed, but it turned out she wasn't remotely dilated enough, and she ended up causing her entire cervix to swell up and spasm and made her labour twice as long. She keeps saying to me, you will have the urge to push but that doesn't mean it's time yet. I mean what the hell, I don't know what I'm doing and how on earth will I know the right time from the wrong time?!
As for antenatal classes, mine isn't until the 29th June because they are apparently so booked up at our hospital. I would like to go to one now so I'm not so clueless!

 

[solitaire89]

Thanks Louise, no worries, jump right in because it's great to hear opinions. I'll tell you something weird that my mother has scared me about. She told me when she was in labour she felt the urge to push, and pushed, but it turned out she wasn't remotely dilated enough, and she ended up causing her entire cervix to swell up and spasm and made her labour twice as long. She keeps saying to me, you will have the urge to push but that doesn't mean it's time yet. I mean what the hell, I don't know what I'm doing and how on earth will I know the right time from the wrong time?!
As for antenatal classes, mine isn't until the 29th June because they are apparently so booked up at our hospital. I would like to go to one now so I'm not so clueless!

the urge to push is different to your body pushing. That's the fetal ejection reflex that I was talking about. It feels like being sick downwards, or dry heaving. You have no control over it. Its not pushing like when you're on the loo, which a lot of women get an urge to do as it often helps with the pain of contractions. It is completely involuntary, and you can do no more to stop that than you can stop the tides turning! Don't let your mums story scare you - if you feel they're right for you, then have an internal to check before you push, its not a problem I should add that, using the natal hypnotherapy relaxation, my internals were painless too.

 

[zanDark]

the urge to push is different to your body pushing. That's the fetal ejection reflex that I was talking about. It feels like being sick downwards, or dry heaving. You have no control over it. Its not pushing like when you're on the loo, which a lot of women get an urge to do as it often helps with the pain of contractions. It is completely involuntary, and you can do no more to stop that than you can stop the tides turning! Don't let your mums story scare you - if you feel they're right for you, then have an internal to check before you push, its not a problem I should add that, using the natal hypnotherapy relaxation, my internals were painless too.

this sounds so strange! I can't even begin to imagine what it's like lol

I know from friends and relatives that you're supposed to push like when you're going to the bathroom, but I had no idea that your body actually takes over and starts pushing the baby out on it's own!

It's truly amazing what our bodies can do!

 

[solitaire89]

this sounds so strange! I can't even begin to imagine what it's like lol

I know from friends and relatives that you're supposed to push like when you're going to the bathroom, but I had no idea that your body actually takes over and starts pushing the baby out on it's own!

It's truly amazing what our bodies can do!

"supposed to" is kind of interesting. Your body can birth your baby without you pushing at all. If you are going to push, then I understand that's what you have to do, but I didn't actively push at all so I can't comment.

You're right, it's a totally bizarre feeling - not painful at all. It really is exactly like being sick, but the movement is downwards not upwards.

And you're also absolutely right, it is truly amazing what our bodies can do, especially when they're left to do it without prodding and poking and intervention, and most importantly, without fear!

 

[xsadiex]

I enjoyed my labour loads! Most of it wasn't that painful, it was a fun experience with the midwives and my partner at home. We chatted lots and it was exciting! There was a part before pushing which was almos unmanageable but it didn't last long and before I knew it I was pushing which didn't hurt at all. You can do it!

 

[MindUtopia]

Like other have said, you don't need anyone to tell you when to push (assuming you haven't had an epidural, then you probably will because you can't feel enough), your body just does it. You know. It's unmistakeable. It's very rare that you'd have the urge to push and you wouldn't be dilated enough (and actually some pushing just at the end of dilation can help move a lip of cervix out of the way so you are fully dilated). Me personally, I was starting to push a little bit with each contraction (not consciously, it's just what your body does) and my contractions were also about 2 minutes apart, so I was very obviously reaching that point. If contractions are far apart and you're pushing, maybe you'd want to check if you're concerned. But really, I think the most important thing is just to trust your body and listen to it. You'll know what you need to do.

Have you heard of the purple line approach to assessing cervical dilation? I'm sad my midwives didn't do this (next time I'm giving them some research to read while they hang out in my kitchen and telling them no cervical exams, they just have to figure it out!). Many women develop a purple line that creeps up from their anus to their lower back and research has shown that it's length often correlates with cervical dilation (even more accurately sometimes than vaginal exams alone). I think this is so cool. Midwives can actually see easily how dilated you are, not only by not doing an exam, but while you're in an upright position, which is the easiest one for birthing anyway.

Here's an article about it:

https://www.scienceandsensibility.org/?p=5547

Here's a better picture:

https://zenbirth.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/how-dilated-am-i.html

 

[RKW]

My labour was horrendous. I felt all the contractions in my back and my baby was born face up. I was adamant I would have a natural labour with only gas and air if I absolutely had to. - what a joke that turned out to be. I was violently sick on the gas and air. With every suck and contraction I vomited. I used 56 disposable sick bowls (husband counted, they came in packs of ten) the vomiting pains plus contractions was unbearable. I was put on two saline drips to replace lost fluid, meaning I was stuck to the bed and also had to stay overnight.
At this point I went for the epidural, it was amazing!!!! I got 2 hours sleep, it was awesome.
They let the esipural wear completely off for the pushing stage, which I did without pain relief. I felt myself tear and begged to be cut and for forceps. Eventually my baby was born and I had stitches.
Next time I will go for an epidural as soon as possible and ask for it not to be allowed to wear off for the pushing stage.

While I agree for some women labour can be enjoyable and a pleasant experience, for others like me ( even those who wanted drug free births) it can be truely awful.

Until you get there you just don't know how it's going to be.

 

[Aphrodite]

I was shocked at the pain of my first labour. I managed really well until the final stages and just felt like I was in hell as the contractions encompass your entire body. I was naked and sobbing on the floor terrified of pushing. Well pushing him out was the worst pain I have EVER experienced, like I was being ripped in half while having a red hot poker shoved up there! My husband still talks about how loud I screamed to this day, even the midwife mentioned it!
Ds2 was MUCH easier, I chatted between contracting and even got bored when they slowed down and wished I brought a book! I even asked the midwife how long it would take! The pushing bit was still hell but with hindsight a bit less so. Im so glad its all done and I never have2do it again!

I should mention I had no pain relief whatsoever. So stupid, have an epidural! I swore I'd have an epidural with number2but when they offered it I turned it down and thought, you've done this once you can do it again. So it obviously wasn't that bad

 

[clairebear0]

Per my doctor...all women have different number of nerves and so the sensation of pain is different for all women. He said, the best deliveries have been natural and my worst deliveries have been natural.

His best advice, go in to your first delivery flexible. If you are feeling great and like you can do it, go for it. If you are not, get an epidural. You want the pain to be manageable and for some women it is not and for some it is.

Good luck!

 

[MrsTurner2012]

https://www.mumsnet.com/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/pain-relief-natural

This was a good read earlier

 

[chloexo]

Its such an amazing experience! Not as bad as people make out at all I thought the contractions towards the end hurt more than anything else i got to 8cm and then I had an epidural which in my opinion if you can have one get one. I'd do it allllll over again tomorrow. I'm more petrified of going to the dentist for a filling lol

 

[bumblebeexo]

I had been contracting for 6 hours when OH made me phone l&d. I didn't think I needed too as I didn't think I'd be that far on - the contractions were sore yes, but I was still able to walk around and I didn't even know if it was 'real' labour!
I went in and the midwife said based on my reactions she didn't think I was in established labour - I was too calm apparently! I asked her to check me anyway, despite her saying she wasn't keen, and I was 7cm! They instantly went and filled the birthing pool as it was a water birth I was aiming for.
I chatted away in the pool, I was even texting! I was in pain, a LOT of pain, but nothing unbearable.. I thought it was going to be a piece of cake!
When it came to the pushing stage I decided to come out the pool as I couldn't get comfy in it. As soon as I got out the pain escalated and the contractions were literally on top of each other. I had gas and air but other than making me feel drunk it didn't do much for me. It took me half an hour to push LO out, and I'd rather go though the pain I had before pushing started 3 times over than go through that again once! I was shouting and telling the midwife I couldn't do it and to make it stop. I felt like I was going to die! Once she was out, one of the first things I said to OH was "I'm never doing this EVER again!!" I had a lot of complications afterwards, so next time will probably be a section, but 10 months down the line and I've forgotten what the pain was like. I can remember screaming and shouting, but I can't physically remember how bad it actually was!

 

[Logan's Mum]

Labour is what you make of it, it can be a breeze if you are in the right state of mind or if you accept all pain relief going. Or some find it awful and difficult. I was calm until I had a drip to speed up labour, thats when I needed all pain relief going. After that, I was calm again! Its do-able with little or no pain relief, just go in with an open mind and be kind on yourself if you need to have pain relief (think some mums, like me, feel guilty for accepting pain relief which some may seem as a "cheaters" way out).

Best of luck

 

[mandy87]

I just gave birth on June 8th , my baby's actual due date, crazy huh ! anyways, I started having uncomfortable contractions for a couple hours and then They started hurting so bad at 5 mins apart and I was only 2 cm dialated ugh lol they almost sent me home! It took forever for the epidural , I had painful contractions( to me anyways) ha but once I got that epidural I was sooo numb and didnt feel pain , I felt pressure but then that went away! so pushing for me wasnt bad at all, I think i pushed only 20 mins : O

 

[BubsMom17]

Please don't say "It's not as bad as people make it out to be," or "it's not as bad as everyone says."

Everyone is different. It was very horribly painful for me between 6-10 cms. It was frighteningly painful. I did it the whole way with no meds, so you manage with it best you can. It is so worth it in the end, but it can be very painful based on your body, your contractions, size of your baby, and position of the baby.

BUT I am going to go all natural again for #2, so it's not bad enough to put me off from it!

 

[CordeliaJ]

I've heard it varies depending on how sensitive your nerve endings are. No idea how true that is, but it makes sense as some people seem to have a terribly painful time and others not.

 

[Ceejay123]

I came out of labour going 'Seriously... that can't be it?'

Don't get me wrong, it hurts . More than anything i have EVER felt before.. it was agony. BUT it was bareable. I got used to it.

Then after.. It'd gone. I felt fine!

I had an epidural (only because i was induced and they said it'd be a 3 day labour. I needed sleep) the epi failed.. And i could stand up 40 minutes after. After that I had no pain relief.. Not even gas and air. Waters boke at 2am, Riley was here at 9:14am. Not quite 3 days. x