How can I BD at the right times without it becoming a chore?

[Em123]

Next week, I'm taking a trigger shot to induce ovulation. This will be the first time I'll actively be tracking my own ovulation. (It wasn't possible before as I wasn't ovulating due to post pill amenorrea).

I'm really excited and can't wait to get bd'ing! I'm just a little unsure as to how to how to deal with my partner(!) and how many times to BD (consecutive nights/ every 48 hours).

My partner feels pressurised very easily during sex. If he feels like I basically expect him to be a baby-making machine, then this can be a real turn off for him (understandably)!

How can I maintain the spontanaity and spice of BD-ing while at the same time make sure I'm doing it at the best times for fertilization to occur?

I suppose the underlying issue here is that my partner isn't as enthusiatic about having a baby as I am. He's not standing in my way, but I know deep down that he's doing it for me, not for him. This thought weighs me down so much. I know he loves me and he doesn't NOT want to have a baby. It just that it's not the most important thing in the world for him (it is for me!!).

Can anyone relate?

 

[amygrrrango]

Next week, I'm taking a trigger shot to induce ovulation. This will be the first time I'll actively be tracking my own ovulation. (It wasn't possible before as I wasn't ovulating due to post pill amenorrea).

I'm really excited and can't wait to get bd'ing! I'm just a little unsure as to how to how to deal with my partner(!) and how many times to BD (consecutive nights/ every 48 hours).

My partner feels pressurised very easily during sex. If he feels like I basically expect him to be a baby-making machine, then this can be a real turn off for him (understandably)!

How can I maintain the spontanaity and spice of BD-ing while at the same time make sure I'm doing it at the best times for fertilization to occur?

I suppose the underlying issue here is that my partner isn't as enthusiatic about having a baby as I am. He's not standing in my way, but I know deep down that he's doing it for me, not for him. This thought weighs me down so much. I know he loves me and he doesn't NOT want to have a baby. It just that it's not the most important thing in the world for him (it is for me!!).

Can anyone relate?

YES!! My DH hates to feel pressured. He says he wants a baby as much as I do, but I'm not sure.

We've struggled for a year in which I only ovulated twice. I started Clomid for the first time this cycle and ovulated, YAY.

He was much, much more supportive this cycle and we are actually adhering to the SMEP, and before that were BDing every other day. So, I have hope, though I'll just be happy having finally ovulated.

I think the key is to not talk so much about it with him, we're all here for you if you need someone to talk to.

And... lingerie. My DH really appreciated that this cycle, especially when we have been BDing back to back. Try to spice up as much as you can. This is silly, but I even took my DH out to dinner last night, giving him a break from dishes, and he got to pick the place - a reward for being so cooperative! Who would have thought it would be a challenge to get men on board with BD?

 

[babylaw720]

My DH also feels pressure when he knows that the BD is indeed, to make a baby. He wants a baby just as badly as I do, but I've learned now, after 11 months of trying, that he doesn't need to (nor does he really want to) know everything about my cycle. It's better for him if he doesn't know when I o. Just keep it spicy like you did before TTC. On your end, pay attention to when your going to o, but don't forget how much fun the BD is.... Keep doing what you enjoy, and keep it spontaneous but timely at the same time. The less they know about cm, cp, o, and all those other acronyms the better....

 

[Em123]

Thanks very much for the tips! I'll definitely give them a try!

 

[Ariannda]

The problem with the trigger shot is that you HAVE to. However, have sex the night of the shot, and not the next day, but the following day, and then the day after that. Frankly just seduce him, a quickie is all it takes

 

[Em123]

This is where I'm confused. I thought it was best to have sex on consecutive days when you're ovulating (i.e the day before, the day of, and the day after) and every 48 hours the rest of the time.

I'm worried that if I leave 48 hours between having sex on the night of the trigger and the next time, I might not be making the most of my most fertile time?

Argh, maybe I'm over-thinking it all too much!

 

[Ariannda]

Truely it wont matter if you skip a day even during ovulation. The idea is to have sperm already in there to meet the egg, and since sperm can live up to 5 days.. Also it takes 24 hours to produce enough mature sperm to swim, so skipping a day might make your partner feel more like everything is the same, where as every day may mean pressure.

Personally my DH knew when i was ovulating, he said he could tell, smell me, i sounded slightly different and was more affectionate, so he was NOT pressured by having sex daily if i so desired BUT i imagine it took him a little bit to get into that exact mindset