How can I be here

Talia12

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Few hours ago went for an 11 week scan to find out my baby died the day after my 9 week scan where I saw it and it's heartbeat. I am beyond destroyed. I was with just my three year old and I could not hold myself together while I waited for my lift buried my face in his chest and cried until he cried too.
I will never get over losing this baby I loved it with my life. It's still inside me now. I have no idea what to do I had half a bottle of rum when I got home my son is with my husband in the living room and I am screaming and crying into my pillow.
 
Oh Hun I am so so sorry. I read your other posts earlier and was hoping it would be okay. I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry for your loss.
 
I cannot begin to express how sad I am for you and your family. The loss of a child is devastating. I will tell you what my therapist has told me. "Only you know how to grieve best for you." I pray that you are able to take a step or two at a time to begin healing.
I, like so many on this site, will be here if you need to talk.
 
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how difficult today must be for you. Feel whatever you need to and DO whatever you need to. You will get through this, it won't be easy but you will. :hugs:
 
So sorry for your loss - going through the same and don't know what to do with myself. I'm hoping time will make the pain ease.
 
Thank you everyone. I passed the baby at home about six hours after having medical management and me and my husband buried it in the garden today in a matchbox. Honestly I'm a mess. I'm devastated, shocked, and terrified beyond words of ever going through this again, knowing that if I want another baby, which I desperately do, I have to put myself at risk of this.
Also, my son's teacher, who I obviously see every day twice a day, has just had her 12 week scan and so has announced and is showing off her small bump. She would have only been about a week ahead of me. It feels like the most cruel thing that could possibly happen to me right now.
 
I'm so sorry hun, it's absolutely heartbreaking, I have found time does help though I still have days where I cry.
I know how you mean about your sons teacher, my sister is due 10 days after my first loss due date, I'm so happy for her, though it's heartbreaking for me.
Sending many many :hugs:
 

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