How did you find caring for baby

[sethsmummy]

Hi ladies,

Im due to have an Elective Section at 38+6 and was just wondering how you ladies found caring for baby whilst still in hospital. Also how long before you were up on your feet?

I want to be up asap once i can feel my legs. Midwife has agreed this is the best thing to do. But what im most wondering is how did you all find it caring for little one? I know the midwife will be there to help for the first little while.. but i know they cant be there 24/7. My DH will be going home at around 7pm at night after my section with DS1 and wont be coming back in until the day i get discharged as we have no form of travel (apart from buses which we cant afford for him to use to keep coming back/forth and DS1 has nursery) so I will be by myself to deal with little one. I dont want too many visitors either so wont be asking them for help. I will need to do everything for myself. (I hope to get everything unpacked and within easy reaching before i go to theatre).

Has anyone else been in this situation and how did you cope? How was the pain lifting little one etc xx

p.s I hope to get home 48 hours after my section then at least DH can help me a hell of a lot more x

 

[LDC]

Hi there,

Good luck for your section, it will be here before you know it!

I had an emcs and was up and moving around within four-five hours afterwards. I believe it definitely helped with my recovery, just take it slow!!

I personally didn't like being in the hospital afterwards; as you say make sure you have everything within reaching distance - I didn't and this was a BiG mistake as I couldn't reach my bag in the floor and had to keep calling the nurses.

I struggled looking after LO just because she was big (10lb 1oz) and she was difficult to lift out of the cot that they put next to your bed. I found this put a lot of pressure on my wound and when I told the nurses they'd literally come, pick baby up, put her on me and leave. I felt like an idiot when it was only a nappy change at night and they didn't just wait with me to help put her back so I struggled on my own.

I discharged myself on the Tuesday evening (emcs on the Sunday morning) because i needed extra help.

The actual caring of LO I felt that I managed well, it was just the lifting aspect of her it this did get easier. It did seem to be at night I struggled more, which I think was because I was asleep before she started to cry and so I'd been in the same position for quite a while before trying to move, whereas in the day I was much more mobile.

Breast feeding was fine and I had no issues with this, just used a pillow to support LO as it was too much to have her on my stomach, but you adapt and it's no big deal.

I consider my experience a positive one though and I'm going to elect for a section if we have another. I didn't feel that it really hindered me or altered my ability to care for LO, it was just nice to be home in your own comfortable surroundings with LO and support from OH
Xx

 

[sethsmummy]

Thanks hun I will be doing pretty much the same as you. My section is booked on the Tuesday morning, and I plan to get out the Thursday night or Friday morning at the latest. I will have so much more support at home than in the hospital. Hopefully DS2 is as light as DS1 was so that shouldn't be a problem.

The hospital where i am the cot is at around the same height as the bed so hopefully i will be able to pick him up from it without too much trouble. I hope like you i can be up on my feet that quick, I will be kept in recovery for minimum 2 hours (or until i can feel my legs properly which with ds1 took me 5 hours). I'd love to get up and changed from the hospital gown into my own pajamas as soon as possible. DH should be able to help me with this on the first day. but thats the only day I'll have help. My parents will be visiting 7-8pm hopefully so my mum will help then if needed. I dont want my friend touching the baby when she visits on day 2 so i need to be able to do it by then.

How long did it take for you to be able to lift properly again hun? Im dreading not being able to pick up DS1 for a cuddle for a long time x

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Mine may be a little diff as I had emcs and was put under so I was pretty out of it for a while. Arrived at hospital about 4pm on a Sunday, bub was delivered at 422, I woke up about 630. Fam, hubby and friends stayed til 930 and cared for bub as I slept on and off. Mwsbdid everything through night I was out of it. The next day friends / hubby cared for bub all day and handed him to me for feeds. About lunchtime Monday they removed catheter and attempted to get me up for shower and I blacked out from trying to get legs off bed. Several hours later I attempted again and mw wheeled me in for a shower. That night I could (slowly) walk to the bathroom with friends help. By Tuesday I could get in and out of bed unaided, by wed I felt so much Better and slowly awkwardly could get into bed with bub myself to feed. Friday I went home. Now 2 weeks later I just get pain when coughing / sneezing. I can do pretty much everything just slowly and cautiously.

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Also my cot was same height as bed but the combined motion of twisting and picking up his weight was still impossible. I could slowly twist but not with a weight in my hands (and he was small)
Mws had to hand him to me til day 3 as i also needed both hands to ease myself in and out of bed. There's no way I could've gone home on day 2 I felt like my insides were gonna fall out constantly!

 

[sethsmummy]

Mine may be a little diff as I had emcs and was put under so I was pretty out of it for a while. Arrived at hospital about 4pm on a Sunday, bub was delivered at 422, I woke up about 630. Fam, hubby and friends stayed til 930 and cared for bub as I slept on and off. Mwsbdid everything through night I was out of it. The next day friends / hubby cared for bub all day and handed him to me for feeds. About lunchtime Monday they removed catheter and attempted to get me up for shower and I blacked out from trying to get legs off bed. Several hours later I attempted again and mw wheeled me in for a shower. That night I could (slowly) walk to the bathroom with friends help. By Tuesday I could get in and out of bed unaided, by wed I felt so much Better and slowly awkwardly could get into bed with bub myself to feed. Friday I went home. Now 2 weeks later I just get pain when coughing / sneezing. I can do pretty much everything just slowly and cautiously.

Thank you hun, so sorry you had to be knocked out for your birth hun
I dont have the option of family helping me whilst in hospital. Only my DH is able to stay all day (other visitors are only allowed in for an hour in the afternoon and an hour at night) but even from day 1 he will have DS1 to look after (my mum is bringing DS1 straight upto the hospital once im back on the maternity ward) and he wont be able to come back in until the day i come home as DS1 has nursery to goto. So i must be able to do everything myself from the night of day 1 really as our hospital is usually short staffed so wouldnt be able to help with every little thing.

Just how bad is the coughing/sneezing pain? I'v heard that from a lot of people. I hope your recovery is a quick one hun and i hope your little one is doing ok xx

 

[Scuba]

Hiya, just a quick reply from me as baby is now waking up lol - I had an elective and found recovery (dare I say, pretty easy) the first day hubby looked after her all day - that night the midwives came over for every change, cuddle etc and they were fantastic about it! It's (part of) what they're there for so don't feel bad for using your call bell as needed! The second night I was able to look after her more independently but still called for assistance as I felt a bit wobbly and wanted someone beside me just incase, they were great about it and never once made me feel like a pain in the butt!!
Sorry I can't write more in depth at mo, will return later lol xx

 

[sethsmummy]

Hiya, just a quick reply from me as baby is now waking up lol - I had an elective and found recovery (dare I say, pretty easy) the first day hubby looked after her all day - that night the midwives came over for every change, cuddle etc and they were fantastic about it! It's (part of) what they're there for so don't feel bad for using your call bell as needed! The second night I was able to look after her more independently but still called for assistance as I felt a bit wobbly and wanted someone beside me just incase, they were great about it and never once made me feel like a pain in the butt!!
Sorry I can't write more in depth at mo, will return later lol xx

Thanks hun! I hope the midwives are the same at my hospital but my sister told me most of the night staff are pretty grumpy!

Also ladies.. TMI but how was going to the toilet and wiping afterwards? This is something im dreading x

 

[hopefulfor1st]

The first day I went to toilet (day after) my friend helped me! I had to walk with my cannula drip stand (pain meds) so it helped to lean on lol. Just took it easy. Only things hard was reaching tp etc, go slow and you'll be fine. My heavy bleeding stopped about day 3! Then nothing really for 2 days (thought it was over!) but since then I've had a very slow flow of icky dark brown, almost black stringy discharge.
The coughing / sneezing was scary at first! I was stifling the first few, but then I realized nothing would fall out lol. I think it was more in my head than anything. I had surgical staples removed on day 5 and got nervous again with nothing holding it together and went home that Arvo. Now its more like a gym ache sort of feeling but since I got home I could (slowly) hang washing etc. and I don't know how big your toddler is but I can easily lift my 7kg/ 16lb dog since almost a week ago

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Also you will NEED the midwifes to help u lift bub the first few days, and they have to its their job!at my hospital all the cs ladies were closest to the mw station

 

[Dragonfly]

It was harder than second which was natural birth because of limited movement so going for a pee was really hard. I bed shared in the hospital as I couldn't get him back to cot and staff refuse to help mums here. (yes true story). When I got home breastfeeding and bed sharing was the only way really from the state I was in. I didnt have elative I went through the labour and emergency so I was so sore all over from pushing.

 

[sethsmummy]

Thanks hun. argh im gonna be so buggered when im in hospital with no dh to help me. i hope the midwives are nice and dont mind helping me out. I am very very stubborn though and will probably try do everything myself from word go.. although very slowly. I dont like depending on other people but know i will have to for a lot of stuff, well anything heavy based anyway. I wont even be able to leave the house without dh for a few weeks because we live in a flat so i wont be able to get the pram up/down the stairs.
They dont tend to use staples in my hospital its either dissoluble stitched or the ones they take out.. Im hoping for dissoluble ones that dont need to be taken back out. My mum is encouraging me to do as much as i can by myself from the start. As she says " i managed so you should too". My toddler is roughly 25lb xx

 

[sethsmummy]

It was harder than second which was natural birth because of limited movement so going for a pee was really hard. I bed shared in the hospital as I couldn't get him back to cot and staff refuse to help mums here. (yes true story). When I got home breastfeeding and bed sharing was the only way really from the state I was in. I didnt have elative I went through the labour and emergency so I was so sore all over from pushing.

oh my gosh hun thats terrible that they wont help! how ridiculous is that! So sorry they were so horrid to you hun, especially after going through labour first! xxxx

 

[Dragonfly]

They said it was because mums had to help themselves, yet they helped the other mums. I peed the bed as I couldnt get up as William was lying on me had to clean it myself on my hands and knees, I was so scared of dropping him. Breathing hurt to. All I got was cheek saying everyone else was fine, but due to labour I think that took a lot out of me. Muscles where used that never where used before. I was so ill from all the drugs to. I left early. I just discharged myself after the ped seen my son and same with son number two but I was able to walk with him. I have staples and had to have removed, they can do that at home. Scar itchy for ages though. Even now I am preg again it hurts as its stretching.

 

[LDC]

I can't say in my hospital c section mums were nearer to the nurses bays but it may be different in varying hospitals, I was the only one on my ward that had a section.

It didn't take me long to pick LO up pain free, which is good seeing as she was a bit of a beast! It was just at night, during the day I was standing up and found this easier, I just got told not to lift anything heavier than my baby. I agree with asking for help from the nurses, but in all reality you'll probably be left to it a lot of the time. I think it was a couple of weeks where I was completely pain free, after a week it was more twinges.

Youll be fine though, and if you struggle ask for help

Xx

 

[Jenny_J]

I couldn't get up till the next day with DS, and when I did I was literally crying, it hurt so bad, but then I discovered I had a bad infection, so that might of been why.

I got up 6 hours after the section with DD, although I could not stand up straight for a couple of days.

I hope you get to leave as soon as you would like, my first stay was 7 days, and 2nd was 5.

I hate the hospital that im going to, so as soon as my bladder can function on it's own again im discharging myself.

 

[sethsmummy]

dragonfly that's terrible! they have a duty to care for everyone! I really cant believe that im so mad for you hun. did you put a complaint in??

Thanks LDC ds1 was very small so im expecting another small baby... although you watch me have a big one this time lol.

Jenny - was it an infection in your scar hun? did you get antibiotics during your section? ooo if im fine and they have no reason to keep ds2 then regardless of when they want me to leave i will discharge us myself... i did the same with ds1 xx

 

[Dragonfly]

I didnt but should of, I was traumatised from birth and didnt want it dragged up. Next time I went in it was different staff, no help though still but the bad ones appeared to be hone and the midwives where nice. This time I will knock blocks off. I was very vulnerable and in pain first time around I was scared of saying anything in case they treated me wrong. I was treated badly as a child in hospital it seemed to remind me of it. I am way to intolerant of it now a days though. Whatever happens next time I will not be walked over.

edit:I did make a complaint about something in labour second time around as midwives backed me up against a doc. This time I have a doula.

 

[sethsmummy]

holy crap! They did what!! The whole lot of them should have been sacked!! For god sake they are supposed to be midwives not bullies! I hope you give them hell this time round hun if they even dare treat you slightly wrong.
I should have and still could put a complaint in from when i had DS1 with the way i was treated whilst in labour and the care we received afterwards but am the same.. I dont want to drag it all back up. It was bad enough telling the consultant about it when i was requesting my elective. That hospital is now under investigation and the maternity ward may get shut down. I am so so glad I am in a different hospital this time and have been told by lots of midwives and also other women how nice most of them treat you apart from the odd grumpy night shift staff member. x

 

[shambaby]

Everyone's experience will be different, but you really must ask for help if you are struggling - trying to manage too much by yourself will just cause more pain, make it harder to do anything, and generally make things worse! I can't remember great detail of how things were for me, but I do remember everything I did being very slow and painful for quite some time. I was still really sore at 8 days when i was readmitted to hospital with terrible mastitis and a uterine infection. And for weeks afterwards the slightest movement caused a terrible pain in my side, just next to the scar. Some of the pain has returned now that I am pregnant again and the scar tissue is having to stretch.
Really, all you can do is see how you get on when baby arrives, and ask for help when you need it. Good luck x