How did you get through?

[x-amy-x]

my head is all over the place at the minute... and has been for the past 6 weeks. I've slowly learned to be happy in connie's achievements but the little set backs seem to set me emotionally way back to the start. They have me terrified all over again that at over 5 weeks old we could still lose her.

How on earth do i get through the next however many weeks/months it takes to get her home?

 

[25weeker]

I know its hard but you will get through this and some days are always harder than others. Think back to the beginning when you thought you couldn't do it and here you are nearly 6 weeks down the line.

We are all here for you.

Good luck xx

 

[mumjaney]

Hi
I've just been reading about your beautiful little girl. Congratulations to you and your family. You will get through it slowely but surely. Its 13 months now since i went through a similiar situation. My little boy has been home 7 months, i keep thinking about this time last year and even though it was horrendous i really can't remember it. I just know i plodded through every day travelling up to the hosital twice a day and tried to make myself strong by getting myself back to normal. It may sound silly and selfish but some days i did not stay in scabu all day and went for lunch with my mum/dad or partner or i went for a swim. Oliver was in hospital for six months so maybe not early on but by taking time out for myself i got stronger and was able to take the ups and downs as they came. I just dealt with it and waited for the next knock but was determined that everything was going to be fine. Dr's sat us down weekly telling us of the problems that Oliver would have in the future. Every one is different and deals with things differenly and you will know what will work for you. But chin up, keep them rose coloured glasses on and think positive... big hug xxxx

 

[JadeyB]

Ah hon,

I just wanted to give you big hugs.

I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling. Xxx

 

[x-amy-x]

Had a mini breakdown on the doctor on ward round last night. Connie's not been well and it just all got the better of me. I don't often get emotional in front of people i don't know... think i needed a good cry though. Also had the chance to speak to them about the things that could make me feel a little more at ease when i'm not there...

example - quite a few times we've called up and connie's nurse has been too busy to update us on her. While they say this is a good thing and means she's settled I just asked them if they could make sure always to pass a message on to me. Literally just to say connie's fine or whatever. My mind goes wild when i dont know if shes ok or not

Definitely feel better though for having a good heart to heart with them. I've felt so heartless sometimes when i go in there all brave-faced. When really, its probably perfectly normal to get upset in said circumstances

dunno what id do without all you crazy ladies keeping me up though!

 

[Littlemo]

Had a mini breakdown on the doctor on ward round last night. Connie's not been well and it just all got the better of me. I don't often get emotional in front of people i don't know... think i needed a good cry though. Also had the chance to speak to them about the things that could make me feel a little more at ease when i'm not there...

example - quite a few times we've called up and connie's nurse has been too busy to update us on her. While they say this is a good thing and means she's settled I just asked them if they could make sure always to pass a message on to me. Literally just to say connie's fine or whatever. My mind goes wild when i dont know if shes ok or not

Definitely feel better though for having a good heart to heart with them. I've felt so heartless sometimes when i go in there all brave-faced. When really, its probably perfectly normal to get upset in said circumstances

dunno what id do without all you crazy ladies keeping me up though!

Orr i so sorry u feeling this way its such a hard time having ur baby not with u, i really hope she is home soon and it get easier for u, it so hard but it does get easier and once u home it will feel a million years ago, i had my little man home for 10 weeks now 9 weeks in nicu and feels so long ago...

this is one thing i hated when i called morning noon and nite the only message we would ever get was 'he's fine' i would ask all questions till i was satisfied - has he poohed, has he had a brady , how much milk has he had, how much oxygen is he on, just so i knew and felt like i was there in a sort of way.

hope this gets easier for u, which it will xxx

 

[danielle1987]

its perfectly natural to feel the way you do. I would call up every morning i got up and every night before bed as would spend all day in the hospital and hated when they just said hes fine and settled I asked them all kinds of questions (How much oxygen how has he been with his milk etc) I spent 102 days in neonatal with my little one and have had him home for almost 5 months, you have gd days and bad days but just go with them. Your well withih your right to feel this way as your baby doesnt get to go home with you every night. Its ok not to put a brave face on all the time, the nurses are used to seeing upset anxious parents every day. xx big hugs

 

[Dona]

Life in neonatal is such a rollercoster and dealing with it can be very draining. You must celebrate the things that Connie achieves, doesn't matter how small it is and always remember she will do things in her own time. You constantly feel you take one step forward and two steps back. That's also really hard to deal with. No one but us premmie mummy's truley understand your journey so get on here as much as you can. Archie spent 95 days in hospital and there were days I just couldn't see the end. But hang on in there, things will take a turn and you will start to see an end in sight. I would say at 36-38 weeks something in the babies just switch on. I was told its the newborn being turned on lol. It really happens so just hang on in there. You will look back and wonder how you were so strong because believe me your being the strongest you have ever been or will ever need to be in your life.

It does get better. Chin up and keep positive. PM me if you need to. I also sent you a post on FB.

 

[x-amy-x]

I feel like its all getting on top of me, emotionally. Friends and family are often mistaken thinking all Connie needs to do is 'grow' i wish it litterally was that. As the days pass more problems pop up. I just want these weeks to hurry up and pass. So scared she'll not come home with us

 

[Lottie86]

Unfortunately there isn't any sort of miracle way to get through it it is just a case of taking each half day as it comes and celebrating the highs but accepting that the lows can and unfortunately do happen especially with the more fragile babies but like you say it really doesn't help if people think it's just a case of 'growing her on' and then she'll be home.

The way you are feeling is *totally* normal. Make sure you rest and take time to look after yourself though whether it's a long hot soak in the bath with some lovely bath stuff or snuggling up on the sofa with a bar of chocolate and a film.

We're all always here for you whether you just want to have a general rant/cry or a chat about a specific issue (as I think between us all we've got experience of most preemie problems)