How did you immediately cope?

[Tegans Mama]

Not had a preemie but T was on a neonatal surgical ward for 8 weeks after she as born. Part of my coping strategy was to take the time out in the morning and at night to look after myself (we lived in the hospital the whole time). I showered twice a day, so much so it got obsessive after a bit, and ate well etc. We all cope differently

 

[AP]

Thank you girls, sounds like eeeeveryones different. I started beating myself up that night!
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[aob1013]

Nope i was the same. I did a full face of makeup and did my hair and had extensions in everyday. On day 3, the first full day we went to SCBU (i was discharged the day before) everyone commented that i didn't look like i just had a baby, or i must be a visitor. I needed to make myself feel better on the outside and i was torn up on the inside.

 

[Foogirl]

I never had my hair straighteners, nor any make-up or anything. There was a lass in the bed next to me, like you SB22 who every morning would spend ages with the make-up and the hair tongs etc and I wondered why the hell she bothered. I looked like death warmed up and couldn't give a shit. But like Marley's girl, I rarely wear make up anyway and to be honest, I wonder why anyone bothers at any time, it just seems such a faff!!!

However, I never once thought "that girl should be spending time with her baby, not up here doing her hair" After all, I was lying in bed eating chocolate and reading a book. Or watching TV, or on my laptop talking to the ladies here. I just could not face being in the unit for hours at a time. She never felt like mine and all I could do was look at her. Hell, sometimes I felt I visited out of duty and even *shock horror* didn't go in one day. Being there for hours at a time would not have been good for me. I was getting over major surgery, where I had major bloodloss and was fully blown anaemic. I needed to rest. Plus, it was bloody roasting in there!

Everyone does things differently there is no "should" when it comes to situations like this.

Edited to add - prem baby mums have hospital bags?????? lol

I know!! Oh to have enough notice!!!