how did you tell your boss you're pregnant?

[iluvcocopops]

Hi ladies I'm popping over here a little early to ask for advice.

I'm 11wks & will be announcing the news of my pregnancy to my boss over the next few weeks. Which I am completely dreading.

I work for a small company (just 6 staff) & it's a really busy office. If anyone is off sick, the rest of the staff feel the pressure, plus revenue is down this year & the boss wants everyone to pull together & work extra hard. To top it off I was made redundant (by my last employer) when my last baby was 3wks old, so I'm so worried about how my boss will take the news & deal with it.

How did you word your announcement to your boss & how did they take it?

 

[schnoogles]

I just asked for a meeting and then told them that I wanted to speak to them because I am pregnant and due in November. I stressed that no one else knew and that the reason that I was telling them early was bease it was important to me that they heard it first from me. I told them that I would keep them updated and do whatever I could to help the team adjust. They seemed fine about it, to be honest there isn't much they can say as I am already pregnant. I tried to highlight that I was aware that it could cause issues and for the team and that I wanted to be proactive in helping my colleagues. I hope it goes ok for you. I found it scary both times I have done it, but it's been fine after x

 

[rose.]

I work for a very small company - there are only 3 of us - and my boss is someone I've known for a really long time and consider as a friend as well as an employer. That actually made it worse as it felt weird thinking of formal ways to do it such as asking for a meeting! Otherwise I'd have done it that way. I just came out with it one afternoon when he was in a good mood - I have something to tell you, I'm having another baby. He was fine about it and I felt so much better once he knew. Good luck

 

[Pippylu]

My boss is horrible! I dreaded telling her. She is nice as pie one minute and then explosively angry and verbally abusive the next. I had to pick the right time so waited until she needed to see me about something and then told I was pregnant at the end of the conversation. I was about 17 weeks at that point and not yet showing so she had no idea. I didn't tell her how far along I was just that I would be leaving in September, which back in May still seemed like ages away. She was actually good about it.

 

[2have4kids]

My boss was always rediculous on the women in my work group about small things like taking appointments or being away for surgery/IVF recovery, but the one token male could stay at home all week while his wife/child was slightly ill with hand and foot and it was considered a work at home week with no sick time. So with knowing he didn't approve of any time off for the ladies, I waited till I was 25 weeks pregnant and tummy just popping with my 1st born to tell him.
This time I have to come back early from my mat leave in order to accrue another 600 hours for my next 52 week mat leave. So I announced our pregnancy @ 10 weeks and called in that day to his manager to let them know when my return to work date is and to let them know I'm pregnant again. They really shouldn't have much say in your life, they have a business to run and if they're any good at it they'll simply post for a new hire and get you to train them before you go. My boss and I both interviewed my replacement and then I trained her. Simple. With the job situation the way it is there'll be lots of competent people to fill your shoes while you're gone extending your family. I'm a designer, this should be the case with any professional trade. Employers should be encouraging families, after all, it's your kids who'll contributing to the tax system when your boss is retired and needing healthcare/using the infrastructure that our children will pay for by being working, contributing citizens.

 

[tiffanyvd87]

When I told my boss, he and I were already in the middle of a discussion and with things going smoothly, I threw my pregnancy in at the end. He was happy and loves children, so all for my pregnancy. I am within a small office as well, only 4 of us here. Everyone is supportive and a replacement will eventually be found to cover the time I'll be off. Best of luck.

 

[iluvcocopops]

Thanks ladies for the advice. I think what is worrying me is the fact that I will be the first woman in the company to ever go off on maternity leave - which is shocking considering the business is going 40yrs! When my co-worker told the boss that she had been off sick because she had a miscarriage, his response to her was 'that's bad news for you, but good news for me'.

If he can make such nasty comments about a miscarriage I just worry how he will react to a baby 😞

 

[2have4kids]

Thanks ladies for the advice. I think what is worrying me is the fact that I will be the first woman in the company to ever go off on maternity leave - which is shocking considering the business is going 40yrs! When my co-worker told the boss that she had been off sick because she had a miscarriage, his response to her was 'that's bad news for you, but good news for me'.

If he can make such nasty comments about a miscarriage I just worry how he will react to a baby ��

I'd broach him starting with, I have some bad news for you but good news for me, smile on face, and then announce your surprise He sounds like the typical narcissistic personality disorder that they're saying Trump is. Unable to have empathy for others, does well in position of power because they don't take advice/instruction well. Good luck, let us know how it goes.

 

[mrsj13]

Woww, talk about horrible bosses!!

I work for a large corporate firm and saying such things will cost my boss her job

That being said, I had to announce my "possible" pregnancy at 4 weeks. It so happened that the doctor put me on a progesterone vaginal push and that took a big toll on my health. I ended up being on urgent medical leave for 10 days.

My boss and her boss, both being female, have been extremely supportive throughout. I am on my fifth month from today and the first trimester was hell for me. I have taken leave on and off and most of them have been unpaid, since I already ran out of paid leaves (I got married this year, so my leave balance was already low). I have to say that nobody ever questioned me on that. To top it up, I thought the promotion that was due for me, would not be given, since I'll be going on maternity leave for atleast 6 months but they surprisingly gave me the promotion as well!!

When I read your experiences, it pains me since I feel we, as women, should not be entitled to this stress of how other people would react. Growing a human inside is such a tough job and instead of being pampered, when you face rudeness, how unfortunate is that?

Take care all, hugs and love...
J

 

[cskme_]

I waited until I got a minute alone with him and said hey I've been meaning to tell you that come November I will be taking some time off work. I said I'm ____ weeks pregnant (I think I was like 18 weeks?). He was shocked as I wasn't really showing. He took it well though, I offered to help him find a replacement and he is more comfortable with the idea now. He wasn't at all rude but he's a good person

 

[Rymel12]

My boss, despite being a single male with no kids (however he is a social worker who works with kids) was very supportive and understanding of my pregnancy last time, so I knew it would be the same this time. He had just taken a long vacation and was sitting with a coworker and I asking us to fill him in on what's new since he's been gone. So I filled him in on all the work related thing and then threw in a "oh and im pregnant, that's new too". He laughed and how I randomly just dropped the news, congratulated me, said he figured a second would be on the way at some point, and then we moved on back to work business. I feel thankful to work for such a nice company.

 

[Jennifurball]

Even though I am lucky I work for a large company with a very good maternity 'package' and have a female boss, I felt sick plucking up the courage to tell her, some knew and had been gossiping so unfortunately it got to her before I did. I was starting to show early and just bit the bullet, said can I have a word please, and just blurted it out, she did a risk assessment, filled in paperwork and everything was fine. It is such a weight lifted once they know lol. I felt naughty like I was telling my mum haha.

 

[melann13]

We have a maternity advocate here, who I was able to talk to privately before telling my boss. Maternity situation here is a bit of a nightmare (I'm a professor and they need to cover courses that few are qualified to teach). Her biggest advice was to go in confidently with a plan. I was only about 8.5 wks, but had an early Ultrsound and was already getting bloated due to it being my 2nd. I walked in, made a joke about how exciting the cake was the day before at the meeting because I am pregnant, said when I was due, (toward the end of the semester), and how I saw that going. Additionally I asked for a reduced schedule for the following semester (My leave will actually be over holiday break- lucky for them) and how I thought that would look. He was very supportive, but I think it helped that I laid out what would need to happen so he wasn't left with his mind spinning as to what to do.

 

[camp0433]

I didn't get to tell my boss, my boss told me "congratulations" and that he heard it "through the rumor mill." I was pissed and only like 6 weeks at the time. I was not ready for anyone to know aside from a few people. I work in a medical clinic and had an appointment scheduled and I think that someone saw that and tattled. Big privacy violation.

 

[melann13]

I didn't get to tell my boss, my boss told me "congratulations" and that he heard it "through the rumor mill." I was pissed and only like 6 weeks at the time. I was not ready for anyone to know aside from a few people. I work in a medical clinic and had an appointment scheduled and I think that someone saw that and tattled. Big privacy violation.

That's TERRIBLE!!
I had an awkward situation at my own clinic. I was there to get my daughter her flu shot, no big deal, and a colleague was standing at the desk to be waited on. I was probably 20' away when the woman at the desk said loudly, "Oh! You're here for HCG and a dating ultrasound! How exciting!"
She turned around and saw me and got all red. I promised not to tell anyone. She ended up having a MC.

 

[Kyliem87]

I literally just said 'I'm pregnant again' lol if only just come back off maternity leave with my daughter and was 8w ish. I then went round to tell HR and again just said I'm pregnant again. I don't think they were overly amused as I'd just had 9mo off but hey ho