How do I respond to my SIL who has GD?

[greats]

Hi all, I'm not sure if I should post this here but have no idea where to turn.

My SIL is 30 weeks pregnant and just found out today she is having another boy (her son is 12 yrs old). Long story short, she got pregnant from a one night stand, doesn't speak to the father of this baby, and has spent her entire pregnancy convincing herself she's having a girl to the point where if anyone mentioned the possibility of a boy she would flip out and correct you saying no, it's a girl. She's been crocheting girl colored blankets, her Pinterest page is full of baby girl stuff, etc.

I found out tonight through my in-laws that my SIL now wants absolutely nothing to do with this baby boy, to the point of now giving him up for adoption or finding ways to terminate this late. She has been lashing out at my MIL and the rest of my husband's family.

Me and my other SIL have her entire baby shower planned in less than 3 weeks, a lot of people have bought off her registries including myself!

I have no idea what to do or say. I'm speechless.

I had slight GD when I found out I'm having another girl, but had no idea her form of GD was even possible.

Help???? Any articles or references I can read and maybe send to her out of desperation?

 

[Eleanor ace]

Oh my gosh. Poor her, it must be awful to have GD so bad. I don't have any experience but I would just recommend being there for her, letting her talk and not judging her because I can imagine she really needs someone to be there or her right now. It sounds like she was building her hopes on this baby being a girl and now she has found out a boy all the negatives of the situation (not having a partner etc) have come crashing down on her and it must be so stressful. I'd say that unimportant things like a baby shower and gifts can wait, they can be cancelled and returned but how she's feeling can't and she needs support to get through this and maybe help making a decision. I hope it works out OK

 

[greats]

Thank you for your reply! I took her out to dinner this evening, and she seemed to really enjoy herself. I hesitantly asked how she was feeling about everything and she said she has been slowly coming to terms with having another boy and has no intention to give him up for adoption. So hoping the next few weeks will give her the time she needs to come around with everything.

 

[Eleanor ace]

Aw she's lucky to have you as a SIL, I bet she really appreciates the support. It sounds like she reacted in shock and hopefully she'll come round and be happy soon

 

[foxiechick1]

Aw you sound like you've been amazingly supportive to her and well done that's exactly what she needs. Everything always seems a million times worse when were pregnant due to those crappy hormones! I'm glad she's coming to terms with it and I'm sure she'll still have her down days but with your support she'll get through it.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

Well done for being so supportive, I know a lot of people would be the complete opposite. I definitely think the gender disappointment is being fueled by all her other problems like the baby being unplanned in the first place, being on bad terms with the father ect.. Sounds like she is in a really bad place and the crushing GD has been the final straw. It's great she is coming round to it.