how do i tell DH....

[brumbar]

Ladies, we've been diagnosed.... Male factor. morphology 4%. Count 22mil, motility 44%(last time 69%!!!!!? ). Problem is i went to the appointment by myself and now i need to tell him. I can't really think at the moment so any ideas are welcome.....

 

[Oneday]

Hi Hun I now it's hard but I think you just have to tell it as it is. Did they give you any advise on how to improve it or your next step. Will your oh still have the oportunity to go in and discuss his results? Good Luck

 

[chanel]

hey brumbar, i'm surprised the doc told you the results of your OH's test!

Anyway, what did the doc say was the next step for you both? maybe you should just tell the results to DH as they are... not say they are good bad or indifferent.... just repeat exactly what the doctor said.

What did the doctor say?

 

[brumbar]

Thanks Ladies...
Well, we were on the IVF waiting list anyway with unexplained inferility....the only different thing now is that we have an explaination! He should continue taking Zinc, Vit C and L-Arginine...and eat healthy... IVF list is long...2 years too long...If we want to go private we can. we will still be eligible for NHS treatment..but if we decide to do it we will need to test his swimmers privately to see if they are good enough for IUI at all. ( Are there different tests done for this??????) I think I will give it a go (IUI not IVF). She also gave us a "jar" for another test on the NHS. Now, the funny part is that his first test in June was OK- without taking supplements! count was a bit lower, but they were much faster.And he already has 2 kids....so maybe we can improve things. Next appointment is on the 13th of Jan 2010.

Anyway...I told him...he took it fine...and started asking what could be done to improve it...a least he is willing to do something and didn't start feeling sorry for himself ( you know what men are like when it comes to their swimmers) I'll have to do some research.......Who said that making kids is easy?

 

[Mrs G]

Hi

If he's had ok results before it could be that he was just having an "off day". Any illness or even a heavy drinking session can knock count right down.

Good luck.

 

[rachelle1975]

Hey
I'm with kath, tests really can vary. We have male factor but DHs count has gone up over the past 12 months. The vits, lifestyle changes etc can all make such positive improvements but colds etc can change results drastically.
My DH felt he'd failed us. I told him it was a means to an end and nobody gad died. That there were far worse things we could go through. It made the diagnosis easier for him & now it's just one of those things.
If you don't want to wait there are clinics in London with egg share progs that u might be suitable for and it could mean free ivf with just the cost of ICSI

 

[BizyBee]

So glad he took it well. xx

 

[brumbar]

Ok...i read yesterday on various forums that on many occasions the samples have been left for too long b4 testing therefor thr result hasn't been that good. It takes him 45-50min to take it to the hospital it MUST be analysed within 1hr from collection....well, there's a very good chance that it was probably left lying around for longer.... So i'm not giving up hope completetly. and he was recovering from a cold. I know i'm probably looking for excuses but they might aswell be the real reason behind it. However there'll be no every day BD for us for now - and this is what i had planned for this month. Anyway. I'll be researching private sperm testing and ways to improve the swimmers....it was a blow i didn't expect. I thought its me (this doesn't me its not me aswell. ) and i think that for the first time yesterday i tought its quite possible that we may never have kids...( not that it hasn't crossed my mind b4 but it was just in passing and i thought it is highly unlikely) .

 

[brumbar]

Hey rachelle. What vits is your OH taking? We are on Zinc, vit C and L-arginine. Thinking of adding selenium...

 

[brumbar]

Hey Oneday. Nope nothing. FS simply doesn care. she been telling us that IVF is our only option even when we were unexplained. She didn't suggest anyting.asked if he smokes and if he's overweight...with the intent to tell us he shoud quit or loose weight. Well..unlucky for her she coudn't say much..we don't smoke, drink' take drugs, we are not overweight, we have an active lifestyle, and try to eat organic to the extent possible even if it is draining our finances. I just don't know what to do anymore.... Grow white wings and become an angel? She gave us another jar and told us if his count improves next time (13th of Jan) she'll consider giving me clomid(something she was reluctant to do b4).

 

[lioness168]

Brumbar, sorry to hear what you have been through over the last couple of days . Its not fair that people who would make the best parents and are healthy seem to have the troubles conceiving...its just not fair. Please hang in there hun, you will have a family, just a bit more of a journey to get there. My thoughts are with you xo