How do single mothers cope??

[Emmea12uk]

hey all

My OH is in the merchant navy and is leaving in just over a week for three months. I moved 20 miles away from all my family and friends whilst pregnant too. During my pregnancy they were all there for me, but since Tom has been born they all seem to have gotten bored and buggered off. Now i am so scared of being on my own 24/7.

I realised the other day all the things i take for granted that i wont be able to do any more. Like I go for a bike ride most days and OH looks after tom, i spend forty mins in the shower. he does 50% of everything and i will be stuck doing 100% soon - not that i mind, but he hs been constantly smothered, hugged and kissed since birth and now I am going to have to put him down to get anything done - surely he's not going to like that at all. I dont liek the thought of leaving him alone for a minute.

How am I going to cope for three months with only a baby for company? Cute and adorable as he is!

 

[KarenLV]

My husband is a pilot and rarely at home,so I do feel like a single parent. It is wonderful when he is at home though because he likes to do most of the things except change diaper.It's so hard sometimes and then I also wonder how teenage girls who get pregnant can cope with all of this? As time goes by you just learn to adjust to things and you become very good at doing things with one hand! I think for women who do not have a partner to help out it must be super exhausting!

 

[sonny]

Eeeek! it might take a little while to get into your own routine a bit there but the bonus is that its just you to feed so you can eat when you like and just yours and tommys washing to do and can let the house go to pot if thats the way it goes until you get in a routine,its only you who will see it so put off things that could wait.Also try to make some time for yourself.

Although saying all this most days Tabs wont let me get anything done until the evening as she gets quite cranky when overtired and needs to be held to go to sleep and then only has half hour naps in the day time!
Really looking forward to when the oys go back to school too as hopefully can get a really good routine going then.
The sling is quite handy though so long as she is in a good mood when i put her in it!

Also if its ever getting too much and you just want to get out and about go for a nice long walk with tommy

 

[emma_27]

I felt more or less like a single parent my OH works all the hours as he works for his self. I breastfed so he couldnt help with that, he wasnt interested in helping with bathing, nappy changing or just general sorting him out so everything was left down to me. As he worked such long hours he never helped out round the house or cooked for us either!! I live about 40mins from my mom and friends so i went to baby groups to meet ppl and have abit of gossip and adult time. I just had to adjust to change i some days found it a nightmare but this time he promises to be around more and help out will be interesting to see if he sticks to his word though!!

 

[lorrilou]

im sure you'll be fine.

i just try and get everything done once the kids are in bed, its the only way anything will get done.

 

[Zarababy1]

my oh is in the RAF we only see him for 2 weekends a month, it wont always be like this but i think its right through the hardest time, i quite enjoy beeing able to do things my own way i potter about in my own little world i dont have to worry about wat to make for tea, what were going to do today, if he needs anything washing and i can watch wat i want on tv!! i just do things my own way, it can be hard when i need to do somthing (like house work!) and charlie wants me, also doing every thing my self can get me down but i just get on with it sometimes i just wish somone would come and take charlie out for a few hours so i can get peace, thats ware my mum comes in handy!! all in all i miss my oh and id rarther him be here than not but i dont find it as hard as i thought i was going too!

 

[Lizziepots]

My OH is only home weekends too. His paternity leave ends today so he's back off to London on the train tonight. I'm quite looking forward to daytimes but I'm absolutely dreading nights. At the moment OH is so good with bum changes and cuddles to get Rebecca back to sleep to let me get back to sleep straight after a breasfeed that I am going to be lost!

 

[AppleBlossom]

You'll be fab hun, in terms of looking after Grace I do about 90% where Jas does 10%! You just kinda get used to it and use any time that he sleeps to get some stuff done

 

[Serene123]

Join the club. Rich is only here at weekends. He's in London all week with work. I feel so alone sometimes, and now Caitlyn is in her clingy stage she won't even go to him. I have to do everything. When Rich is here, as soon as madam cries, I get given her back. Which is fine, I'd rather comfort her than watch, but it's REALLY hard being on my own. I feel lonely and I can't get anything done.

As soon as she smiles at me, none of that stuff matters. I'm never alone, I have her. So what some stuff doesn't get done? Aslong as she's happy that's all that matters really!

Tom will be just fine being left to his own divices. I know this is naughty but when Caitlyn needs something I tend to pop her infront of the television for the 5 minutes or so I'm doing it. She's occupied and I don't have to be constantly worried that somethings wrong with her while I'm busy.

You will cope because you have to and it will be so rewarding. You will be so proud of yourself!

It will take a couple of weeks but you'll learn so much about eachother.

 

[missjess]

My husband also works away most of the time and when he's home he works 14-16h a day so he's not around much. It's hard, but you get into a routine, you do things when baby is asleep xxx

 

[xKimx]

Although my Oh works when hes at home he does alot for LO and when i work he does everything ... so i dont think i would be able to cope being a single parent

 

[Margerle]

I was a single parent for 10 years. You take it one day at a time.

Wear baby when you can, and do your work and you time while he's sleeping. I also worked full time from the time my daughter was 10 days old. Then when she was 6 months old, I was at school 4 hours a night 3 nights a week.

She went everywhere I did, and if she oculdn't go, I didn't go.

I was a hard mommy on her - she had to learn things a lot sooner and quicker than other kids. And I sometimes wasn't as happy a mommy as I should have been because of the stress. But I'm very proud of the young lady she's become, and she loves her mama

Don't beat yourself up when you make a mistake... just fix it and move on. Don't stress - and enjoy your little man.

 

[B4byAnge1]

I was a single parent for a couple of years, and it was hard, but not that bad, I suppose you just have to accept that you cant do everything you once would have, and just try to stay relaxed. My OH works night shift now, out all night, sleeping all day so I pretty much feel like a single parent again. I only ever get tidying up dont when she is sleeping...I run around like a madwoman...and try to get out every day just to get some fresh air, and peace and quiet.

 

[coccyx]

My hubby is away monday to friday and we have 4 children, 9yrs,6yrs,just turned 2yrs and a 4 month old. You can cope , but try not to be supermum.If things get done great if not then tough. I will say that the wekends can be chaos when hubby is here as any routine goes out the window!