how do u discipline at 13 months??

[ShanandBoc]

ARGH lol....My DD is nearly 14 months old and is starting to become a real handful...i know from this age till around 18 months get hard as they dont know how to communicate well and its causes them to act out...but how do u stop them from being outright naughty? She doesnt listen if i tell her NO or grab her hand and stop her (not smack) and distraction isnt working too well either as she just thinks its funny and a game and keeps on doing things ive told her not to. Ratbag hehe and shes always whinging! - So is mum by the sounds of it hey!! ha!

Anyone have any tips on how to handle this stage? As a first time mum ive never done this before!! I find myself getting so frustrated and annoyed at her

 

[lozzy21]

I don't discipline Niamh as I think it's wrong to to it while they are still learning but her actions have consciences(sp?) like earlier tonight she hit me in the face with a toy hammer so I asked her not to because it hurt, she did it again so I firmly told her no we don't hit, she hit me a third time so I took the hammer of her and then sat her on the floor.

 

[ShanandBoc]

Thank you, i guess discipline is the wrong word as i know they are too young to really understand, i guess a better description would be 'how to manage their behavior' She started pulling my hair too and i repeatedly told her no then she bit me....so i put her on the floor as she was sitting on my lap, so was this a good way to handle the situation? x

 

[Farie]

I remove Nim from the situation if she not allowed to play with or touch something (tv/ps3/Xbox consoles etc) with a firm 'no that's not for you' and give her something else. If she goes back I do it again, and again and again, by the 4 time I will be firm and abrupt in the manner I move her, not harsh but not all gentle cuddles either. I will then offer something else to play with and make sure I stay with her to play with it, so the new thing comes with the added bonus of my company.

Behaviour wise, if she's biting or hair pulling I ask her to stop tell her that's not nice and move her hand or whatever she's biting out the way, if she grins and does it again (her usual reaction) I will firmly move her hand or mouth and put her down/move her away from me.
She really yanked my hair the other day and she did get her hair tugged back (while she still had hold of mine) it shocked and offended her. But she's left my hair alone since.
She never really hits, occasionally slaps for the sound effects so we just say 'gently' and show her gentle hands.

I also try very hard to just ignore unwanted behaviour if I can, such as her last obsession which was turning switches on and off, I can't be arsed getting into a battle over 'don't touch that' so I just leave her to it as she's not in danger - fast forward 2 weeks and now she's bored of them and never touches them.

 

[cookielucylou]

I just come to post something very similar, and found this thread so I shall also be trying the suggestions.
The majority of things lo does I ignore, but there are a few things that can't be.

 

[lozzy21]

Thank you, i guess discipline is the wrong word as i know they are too young to really understand, i guess a better description would be 'how to manage their behavior' She started pulling my hair too and i repeatedly told her no then she bit me....so i put her on the floor as she was sitting on my lap, so was this a good way to handle the situation? x

I dont know if its a good way but i would have done the same thing,

 

[blinkybaby]

Sounds exactly like Louie at the moment :/

The pinching and hair-pulling and biting is the worst, he thinks it's hilarious when I tell him "no". I think I"m gonna try the 3 strikes and you're out type thing where if he does it a 3rd time I put him down away from me or take him away from the situation. Hopefully he will learn eventually.xx

 

[Pearls18]

I don't think discipling is a bad word, I believe they need disciplining because they need their boundaries to be set, they need to learn what they can and can't do with all their new skills lol, and the earlier the better IMO, but I agree how do you do it????!!!! The one thing that drives me maaaaad is my DS is always pulling on things he shouldn't, and when you say 'No' he just says no back laughs and does it again, and distraction doesn't work because he remembers exactly what he wants to do!! I have wanted to start a thread like this myself so will be looking at the replies

 

[RileysMummy]

Millicents thing is pulling the wires from the tv and cos we're in a marry quarter we can't put it on the wall so she likes to pull them out. I'll pick her up whilst saying a firm no and put her on her chair which is musical and i'll try and distract her, yet most times she'll go back a million times before she learns Seriously she is so stubborn just like me It is hard cos I don't want to slap her, and she's too young for a naughty step etc but I'm out of ideas most of the time.
x

 

[CaptainMummy]

Paige isnt naughty at all, she is the most gentle baby and has never bit, or pulled hair (I think she is scared of hair tbh!)(also, she is not 13 months yet though!)) but a month or so ago, she would keep going to her drawers in her room and pull them open. I just kept going to her, saying "no" firmly and moving her to somewhere else. Now I think she got the message and sometimes she leans against them, but never tries to open them. Next up, is opening her wardrobe doors!

 

[Miss_Bump]

Honestly, I let Evie do/touch most things. I find once she has done it or seen it then it's done and she moves on.

Obviously dangerous things like matches or knives are off limits for little fingers

They are very trying at this age and when Evie wants to touch something delicate we look together and then I tell her we must be careful and use gentle hands abd keep it safe then I put it out of sight.

This works for us

 

[feeble]

I try and make sure he is allowed in most places, I see nothing wrong with him looking through his drawers or playing with the saucepans in the kitchen but if he is hurting the cat I feel I have to intervene so we tell him no firmly and if he carries on, we put him in the other room on the floor, not for any amount of time and he always toddles back but it makes him reaslise that he can't be in the room if he is hurting the cat x

 

[Miss_Bump]

Double post

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Honestly, I let Evie do/touch most things. I find once she has done it or seen it then it's done and she moves on.

Obviously dangerous things like matches or knives are off limits for little fingers

They are very trying at this age and when Evie wants to touch something delicate we look together and then I tell her we must be careful and use gentle hands abd keep it safe then I put it out of sight.

This works for us

Same here really, at 13 months if Ruby couldn't play with something, it'd be out of her reach. Our living room looked pretty stupid at one point with chairs / boxes blocking a few things but she's great now, we can have all sorts of things out that she could break but she knows the score and leaves them.

 

[lilbeanhoping]

I am a stepmom to an almost 2 yr old and I work in the field of early childhood education.

I saw this post and thought I would offer my little bit of insight if you ladies didn't mind.

Have you tried telling them what they can do?
For example when your child is hitting you instead of saying "no hitting" you could say...."you can clap your hands or give me a high five" in a really animated excited voice. And if they try to hit again in a really boring monotone voice say "hands are not for hitting" and again in your excited/happy voice: but you can give me a high five! And then praise them for the high five or clap or w.e they've done.

If they continue to hit putting them down and moving away from them saying "ouch!that hurts when you hit me!i don't like it" in a firm voice shows them that when they do things like that they get no attention at all for it.

A lot of the getting into "trouble" kids at the toddler age get into is because they are exploring their environment. When we as parents respond with "no!dont do xyz" very high pitched/excited sounding etc and provide attention for what they've done all they get from the interaction is that you provided them with attention and sounded animated!
If instead you respond super boring to the "don't hit that hurts" and excitedly "you can give me a high five" they remember you being excited about the high five part. (does that make sense?)

Providing lots of praise for things they do that are appropriate behaviors are also really good

Visuals are also an awesome tool to use with toddlers. Toddlers respond really well to visual cues rather than verbal because they cannot necessarily understand the verbal but pictures can be quite clear. To make pics you can use anything from an actual photograph of things to clip art on the computer or even in a pinch a quick drawing by yourself!
Things you can use pics for can be "no hitting" and a picture of an X through someone hitting and a great thing to pair with that is a picture of what is appropriate: two people high giving with big smiles......it is great to have a pic paired with the words written on them to help with that development of language and reading skills.....for example "no hitting" and for the positive side "everyone is happy when I use my hands nicely".

Sorry for the long post. Hopefully some of what I said may be helpful.

 

[Pearls18]

I am a stepmom to an almost 2 yr old and I work in the field of early childhood education.

I saw this post and thought I would offer my little bit of insight if you ladies didn't mind.

Have you tried telling them what they can do?
For example when your child is hitting you instead of saying "no hitting" you could say...."you can clap your hands or give me a high five" in a really animated excited voice. And if they try to hit again in a really boring monotone voice say "hands are not for hitting" and again in your excited/happy voice: but you can give me a high five! And then praise them for the high five or clap or w.e they've done.

If they continue to hit putting them down and moving away from them saying "ouch!that hurts when you hit me!i don't like it" in a firm voice shows them that when they do things like that they get no attention at all for it.

A lot of the getting into "trouble" kids at the toddler age get into is because they are exploring their environment. When we as parents respond with "no!dont do xyz" very high pitched/excited sounding etc and provide attention for what they've done all they get from the interaction is that you provided them with attention and sounded animated!
If instead you respond super boring to the "don't hit that hurts" and excitedly "you can give me a high five" they remember you being excited about the high five part. (does that make sense?)

Providing lots of praise for things they do that are appropriate behaviors are also really good

Visuals are also an awesome tool to use with toddlers. Toddlers respond really well to visual cues rather than verbal because they cannot necessarily understand the verbal but pictures can be quite clear. To make pics you can use anything from an actual photograph of things to clip art on the computer or even in a pinch a quick drawing by yourself!
Things you can use pics for can be "no hitting" and a picture of an X through someone hitting and a great thing to pair with that is a picture of what is appropriate: two people high giving with big smiles......it is great to have a pic paired with the words written on them to help with that development of language and reading skills.....for example "no hitting" and for the positive side "everyone is happy when I use my hands nicely".

Sorry for the long post. Hopefully some of what I said may be helpful.

Thank you so much this is really useful. The one thing LO does that always gets my attention is when he toddles over to our floor length blinds and pulls the cords really hard (they're tied to the frame so they're safe) but he almost pulls the things down so I go NOOOOOOO NO! NO! Bit like he's a dog lol (unintentionally) and he finds this hilarious (as would most onlookers I'm sure) so I will try your advice

 

[lilbeanhoping]

That is a totally natural reaction for all of us I think "no nono stop!"
It's taken me a lot of time and practice to turn around my practice of what I say and do to put a positive spin on things all the time and do all the rest of it. But I know from the kids I work with and my stepson at home it works wayyyyyy better than the "no's and dont's" so once you start doing it and doing it consistently it becomes sooooo much easier and everything seems to go so much smoother.

Another idea for that is if he likes to pull on the chord find toys or things he can use that simulate the same thing. Is he pulling it to watch them go up or pulling the chord because he likes to tug....once you figure out why he's doing it you can find a toy that is something similar so he gets the same sensory input/ same reaction from the object. Even if you don't figure out the exact reason if it's close it'll probably work. Then when he goes to pull the chord u can pull out the other thing you have and be like " look you can pull/ tug(w.e) on this! Blinds are for looking at, but you can play with your toy!" ( good thing to remember to is always end your statement with what they CAN do not what they can't as that is what will stick with them most.)

 

[JASMAK]

I distract. There is no need to 'discipline' a child who would never understand.