How do you cope...?

[NeedYou..]

I've seen so many women on here who have been trying months and years on end for their babies, I've got huge respect for you all who have kept it together for that amount of time and haven't lost faith...

Just wondering if any of you could give me some advice on how to cope with it? I'm going out of my mind from it!

 

[rachelle1975]

Just have faith hun. Our route might not be the easiest and i still have days when i feel negative but i know deep down that i will get there and we'll be parents. You just have to be upbeat and always look for the good - even when there is so much bad. I never thought i was an overly optimistic person until we were told we needed IVF and now i appear to have optimism in bucket loads! You just can't let it break you otherwise what is the point? Don't lose sight of the wonderful things you have got and the fact that you can have even greater things in the future.... it just might mean a different route getting there

 

[Redfraggle]

I think it is just a case of coping because you have too. Its amazing what strength you can find when you have too.

That said, it hasn't always been easy and the struggle has pushed DH and I to the edge at times, but we've always bounced back stronger and more determined.

On the worst days DH and I always go and do something together. A walk, cinema, bike ride. Doesn't matter what it is. Just a temporary distraction until we can deal with reality again.

Also make the most of any support you can. From DH, friends, even BnB. Rant, scream and cry about how unfair it is rather than bottle it up inside.

Most of all, never lose hope, it will happen.

 

[Pixie0723]

I just try to keep positive, i have to almost remind myself that I WILL get that BFP someday. My husband and i have been trying for 3 years, so it does get stressful at times, but i have a great FD now, and i think he will be able to help us. If you need to talk just let me know. : )

 

[Bexy]

In a weird way I had a bit of an epiphany when I reached the 2 year point - until that time I'd beat myself up over the fact that this whole thing was so damned difficult (when everyone around me seems to fall pregnant at the drop of a hat!) but now I try and get on with my day-to-day life rather than the all-consuming ttc life! I also got a puppy - I wouldn't recommend this though as he's a stubborn little thing (and over 1 years old now) so I'm dealing with what seems a difficult teenager most of the time!!

 

[CareBear]

You just do! Life goes on and you have to go on with it. Its very hard sometimes and I have a melt down but then put it behind me and carry on! I'm planning on getting a puppy which has taken my mind off it again recently which helps. I also find taking breaks and not doing anything TTC related such as OPK's or counting cycle days also helps to take the pressure off.

 

[NeyNey]

We're approaching 4 years in a couple of months. Honestly it's ok to have meltdowns, don't think you have to be this pillar of strength constantly. I've thrown plenty a trantrum believe you me. I've had my break downs, the key is to get it out of your system, and then bounce back and move on. It's a very up and down hill battle.

 

[jacky24]

I agree with the other girls.. we just learn how to cope, and take it day by day... When you hit the 2year mark it is almost like hell i have survived.. and the not stressing about OPK's and POAS and O and temping has helped me so much... I don't get exited about any sign or symptom.. I don't place my hopes on anything...

I know my will be the biggest shock ever....

 

[hopeful4baby]

I agree with the other girls.. we just learn how to cope, and take it day by day... When you hit the 2year mark it is almost like hell i have survived.. and the not stressing about OPK's and POAS and O and temping has helped me so much... I don't get exited about any sign or symptom.. I don't place my hopes on anything...

I know my will be the biggest shock ever....

Totally agree. When you hit a 2 year mark something changes in you. I now truly understand the meaning of "what doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger."

I still have bad days at certain times in a month, but it's now reduced to just couple of days. I used to be down all the time. It literally fell like a hell, just like Jacky said. I guess time makes everything heel and although I still get so angry at fate, God, whatever you call it, I think the worst is over..

I'm trying to tell myself everyday, I'm getting closer to it, not further away!

All the best to you!!

 

[puppymom32]

I cant help but keep thinking about how when it does happen how wonderful it will be and I know that I will not take it for granted like so many others who have no issues do. It will truly be the happiest day of my life and it will all worth it. Like NeyNey said its ok to freak out and have days where all you wanna do it cry and its ok to take a few months off and just relax. Having a good support group really helps too. Hugs your way.

 

[TrixieLox]

Find something else to focus on, seriously!!! This is the ONLY way I deal with it. Find a new ambition, not just 'get pregnant'. As I've said on here before, I put all my pain and emotion into writing that novel I wanted to write and now I have a top agent who'll be pitching my book to Penguin etc in a few weeks. See friends, so fun things, go away, enjoy the summer ....