how do you cope

Discussion in 'Long Term Trying To Conceive' started by bryany1, Oct 18, 2008.

  1. bryany1

    bryany1 Well-Known Member

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    hiya, after some advice please

    Have found out today that a girl i work with is pregnant. She is only just 18 and it wasn't planned. She had a abortion a few months ago.
    I'm having tx soon and i am excited but just keep thinking if it doesn't work i don't know how i'm going to cope with seeing her all the time with her bump growing and talking about being pregnant.

    Have been crying since i got in from work. I want this so much as i am sure you all do and then others can get pregnant at the drop of a hat. Life is such a piss take sometimes.

    Sorry for the moan, just need some help to cope with it all

    thanks for reading my post

    nik
     
  2. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    Hi Hun

    Its understandable to feel the way you are feeling cause i use to feel the same way
    the problem with me was i could get pregnant but my babys die and having no answers to why it happens makes me so sad and angry when i see people who have children then abuse them or bad drug addicts having children and injecting all kinds into there system and heres me scared to eat certain foods :(

    I got that way i never showed it on the outside but on the inside i was dieing the pain was horrible
    when my friends would say am pregnant and then am pregnant again and so on :(
    I was so happy for them cause there my friends and i would not wish what happens to me on any one no one should have to go through pregnany loss or infertility ....
    but it just hurts cause you want what they want and feel that joiy and excitment.

    It still hurts but not as bad i have accepted that i cant be sad when others around me
    friends and family announce there good news e.g where gonna have a baby cause its just gonna make me depressed and sick so i have to look on the positive side and belive my time will come very soon and i will hold my baby in my arms no matter what it takes i am gonna try to do that.

    And this is where you have to do the same think positive and smile and be happy for them and say to yourself thats gonna be me soon and belive yourself :)

    Not only have i had to put up with the pain of losing my babies when pregnant
    before christmas we was put forward for icsi cause we was ttc and nothing was happing
    and was told dh swimmers was not the best it come to a shock how things can just change and it can be down to just having a really bad flue :(

    I got pregnant in jan naturally with twins after being told we need icsi and sadley lost them
    so trying for ages and then told we need icsi then suprice naturally pregnant in your hands one minute and then gone the next it kills .....

    We had icsi in june and it failed so we are holding on and hoping this time our next icsi we will get our little miracle and hopefully fingers crossed so will you and we can join all the other girls with our baby bumps :)

    xxx
     
  3. bryany1

    bryany1 Well-Known Member

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    Angel, really hope you get that much wanted bfp hun. I know wat you say is right but we don't like each other anyway and i know that when my bos isn't there she will rub my nose in it

    nik
     
  4. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    So really she is a horror who has no sympthey and uses peoples misery to laugh at , People like her our a waste of space hun and they get what comes to them best to just ignore her and not try to let her get to you :hugs:
     
  5. bryany1

    bryany1 Well-Known Member

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    your right hun, thanks
     
  6. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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  7. chefamy1122

    chefamy1122 hating infertility

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    Life can be so unfair sometimes. :hug:
     
  8. FJL

    FJL Heartbroken after m/c

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    In my experience, self preservation is the key. Look after YOU. By this I mean that you shouldn't feel obliged to ask her questions etc, if she starts talking about it either change the subject, say you have to go and do something, or if she knows your situation be upfront and let her know that its really difficult to hear about her pregnancy.

    I used to worry that by doing this people would think I was a selfish bitch, but I learnt to not care about that, and just care about me, and getting myself through someone elses pregnancy.

    Many people who fall pregnant easily aren't sensitive to us so I really don't care to be sensitive to them. This may sound very hard, but its what I do to get me through and at the end of the day, you should always be #1 in a situation like this.

    Take care :hugs:
     
  9. maz

    maz TTC #1 since Oct 2004

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    This is a really difficult situation hun, and by the sounds of it the girl in question is too immature to reason with. I'd probably try and not be in her company too much and keep reminding myself that one day it'll be my turn. That is of course assuming that your treatment doesn't work - if it does then yippee!!

    Good luck for your treatment - I start my suprefact injections on 28th October - so we could perhaps keep each other informed

    :hug:
     
  10. meisha

    meisha Well-Known Member

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    hi, i too was in the same sitch. a girl at work mc same time as me and the next month she was pg again. i on the other hand had to cope with a diagnosis of persistent gestational trophoblastic disease, be told not to get pg, have chemo and sit next to this girl moaning about her morning sickness and looking at pics on the pc of how big her baby would be. :hissy:
    I went to my boss and said I found it very difficult to sit with her and although I was happy for her I found it hard to face on a daily basis with everything I was going through. I was moved to a different desk in a different room. Everyone knew why but I had to be selfish. It was also hard when meetings began with informal chit chat about babies, I was inconsolable and had to remove myself from the meeting by saying I was not well etc.
    As FJL said - think about you!!!! Other pg ladies do not hold back (as they shouldnt) their pregnancies so you shouldnt hold back your feelings either. If you fid yourselve in a sitch at work where its upsetting you, remove yourselve from it. Even if you have to lie to save being pulled by your manager for being bitter as mine did!!!!!!
    Take care
    x
     
  11. bryany1

    bryany1 Well-Known Member

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    Thankyou all so much for the replies.

    Meisha, my boss is understanding luckily, she told me and the girl in question doesn't know that i know yet. I have thought about asking for her to be moved to another shop but am going to try and get on with things. Its not that i find pregnant women hard, its the fact its her if that makes sense.
    Can't believe you got pulled up for how you feel :hugs::hugs:

    Maz, you are right she is immature so will just have to rise above it and come on here to you guys when it gets too much :hissy: It will be nice to come on here and be able to talk to someone on a simular stage to me. Will be hasseling you big style now :rofl::rofl:

    FJL, you do not sound like a selfish bitch. You sound like someone who don't take no rubbish off anyone. Good to you. Wish i was more like that. When it comes to baby situations i'm a right cry baby. I held it together at work yesterday, but only till i got to my car.

    Angeldust, Thanks for the chat last nite, i am shattered today are you????

    Feeling more relaxed about it all today, till i see her on wednesday. Just gonna take a book incase we are not busy then i won't have to talk to her.
    Take care everyone

    nik
     
  12. maz

    maz TTC #1 since Oct 2004

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    Don't worry about hasseling me - it's more likely to be the other way round
     
  13. bryany1

    bryany1 Well-Known Member

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    I can handle that :rofl::rofl:
    Good luck starting the injections

    nik
     

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