How do you deal with knowing that you may not conceive naturally?

[IzzyAnt88]

I'm not a super religious person but I feel like if I was meant to have a child then I would have a body that works.. I was just diagnosed with PCOS today and am shocked! No family history of anything related to PCOS, no other symptoms, I am thin, and normal hormone levels! I feel like taking "drugs" to get pregnant is just not the way having a baby should be, and it doesn't feel natural, but how am I ever going to ovulate or get pregnant on my own?? How do I even know if I ovulate? I am feeling just.. broken..

 

[JaniceT]

It's a personal choice and everyone has their own views on how to deal with infertility.

If you strongly feel it is unatural to take medicines to have a baby, then you may seek alternative natural medicines such as traditional chinese meds (which is also hormone alterating and management), or to accept that your body is the way it is.

My PCOS didn't cause the infertility. Docs have said I could have babies naturally just like any other person. However, my OH's sperm issues were the stumbling block. We just found ICSI as one of the many aternative routes to achieving a goal. Nothinh is black and whit, neither is fertility.

 

[ANGEL223]

As Janice says it personal choice.

I understand the view if its meant to be it will be but would that stop you taking for example cancer drugs to save your life? I know having a baby is not a matter of life or death but i for one would do whatever i could to fix a medical problem so why not to have a baby??

 

[emilyjean]

It really is a personal choice whether you want to take medication to aid in ovulation. I personally would LOVE getting pregnant while just using clomid, however that won't ever happen for me. I'll never get to 'make a baby' au natural with my hubby. Instead, our babies are going to be conceived outside of the womb. It's a grieving process, definitely. However, now that I know what is to come, I can face it head on and be chipper about it.

When it comes down to it and you aren't ovulating on your own, you're the only one that can decide if medical intervention is right for you, and how much you want children.

Also, I would start taking ovulation tests. If all your hormones are normal, that's a really good sign that you might just have a mild case. Also, not knowing when you ovulate can be the cause of the two of you not conceiving yet, you just might not be having sex at the right times! Good luck and

 

[MarsMaiden]

To be honest I don't really separate not being able to conceive naturally from not being able to conceive at all which is what I find most frightening. Seeking medical intervention was not something I even particularly thought about, it was the automatic next step. I just worry that it won't work either. I have done IUIs so far and there is always that thing in the back of your mind that you and your dh weren't even in the same room when your baby was conceived (if I ever have a successful cycle!) but I'll take that over being childless any day.

 

[Blue12]

It absolutely is a personal choice, but like many have said, medical help would not be considered unnatural in other circumstances. I have a friend who views that god has given the gift of people who can help us medically.

It is definitely a process of grief to not get pg naturally. I find myself now terrified that maybe even the medical route won't be able to help us - and that scares me even more, which does lead me to be even more sad and jealous that other people can get pg naturally.

Best wishes in your decisions and your journey.

 

[CareBear]

I also agree that it is a personal preference and you need to give yourself time to grieve. I can understand your feelings as I have also made the choice not to have more invasive treatments to aid pregnancy. I've taken clomid and will again in the future but I won't undergo IUI or IVF for many reasons and you have to weigh up yourself what treatment you wish to give a go and what not. There are natural herbs and treatments that can help with ovulation and therefore getting pregnant which you might want to research and consider.

 

[sazzle80]

Like all the previous posts i think it has to be down to personal choice - you shouldn't do anything you're uncomfortable with or that you strongly believe is wrong. i got told on 27/07/10 that me and my husband would not be able to conceive naturally down to his v.low sperm count and it knocked me for 6!! My hubby already has older kids and at first i was really angry & bitter thinking how unfair the situation was and wishing that if i'd only met my hubby a few years earlier we wouldn't have any problems but now i've realised we've got to work with the hand life's dealt us and make our choices from there. We've started saving for ivf and we've been referred to a specialist. The way i see it if i had a broken leg for example i wouldn't sit at home hoping it sorts itself out naturally i'd get all the help i could to make it better - its the way i feel about ivf, i'm willing to do whatever it takes.

Hope you come to terms with it and make the right choice for you xxx

 

[teapot]

Just to echo what the others have said, only you & DH can decide what's right for you, but you need time to deal with what you've learned today.

I have a couple of friends with PCOS who have both had children. Neither of them were overweight & only one of them had irregular periods. PCOS affects different people different ways.
As Emilyjean mentioned, trying some ovulation tests might be helpful - have you had your hormone levels tested? do you have regular periods? Did your GP/clinic give you any information?

I know what you mean about the whole God/fate thing. I have blocked tubes, so our ONLY chance is IVF. I'm wondering if I should accept that it wasn't meant to be? or if I should be pleased that we've been given knowledge/science to help. I'm thinking more the latter, but I guess we'll always be scared of the unknown.

Best of luck to you. x

 

[maaybe2010]

Personally (this is just how I see things )I don't see taking drugs to get pregnant as not natural. . .
I think I see not natural as anything other than me and OH to make a baby i.e. IVF etc.

When we hit a year I started thinking about we may have to get pregnant with aid and the thought FREAKED me out. . . . .
but as the months went by I started to accept that maybe we would have to use some sort of medical aid if a baby is what we really want

As for knowing if you ovulate, I see you have/had a fertility friend account? Maybe continue/start temping with as other suggested OPKs

x x x x

 

[africaqueen]

Don't lose hope hun. I had pcos (its mostly cleared up now) and managed to get pregnant twice(sadly very bad outcomes, but still managed it) as regards the moral issues, taking fertility drugs such as clomid are just to boost your body into performing as it should be naturally. Its a helping hand. It is still completely down to nature if u manage to get pregnant. No drug can make that happen ;-) I was struggling with this aspect with the IVF we now have to have, due to me losing both tubes with ectopic pregnancies, and my reasoning is this, the IVF cannot make these babies implant, that is down to nature, so although a HUGE helping hand is given during IVF, it is when the embies are put into the womb that the real miracle will/wont take place, and thats the baby attaching and growing etc None of us expected to be needing assisted conception, but this is where we find ourselves and i believe in god and also believe that the people who invented assisted conception were meant to invent it to help others and that its all down to god at the end of the day. xxx

 

[CurlySue]

To be perfectly honest, I don't deal at all. I shut it out. I push it to the back of my head. I tell myself "I always wanted to adopt anyway". I convince myself that i am okay with it when I'm not. It's not healthy and it's not good but it's what i do.