How do you deal with the loneliness?

[jocelynmarie]

So, I'm pregnant with my first child and things between the FOB and I just aren't right and if I think about it never really were, even though we were engaged and planning a wedding.

Jelly Bean wasn't planned and was a WHOOPS on vacation, but is so very much loved and wanted anyways. I can't wait to meet the little peanut, and spend my life giving it the best life I possibly can.

Being alone sucks though. Sometimes it hits me like a ton of bricks how lonely I am. I can't be with the FOB just cause I'm lonely and this is going to be hard though, in the end, with out love, I'll just be more miserable then I am now.

I've been sitting here sobbing for like an hour. The reality of the situation just sucks!

Thanks for listening to me whine!!

 

[Rhio92]

It's hard hun. I make sure I go to college, and never miss a day. When I'm not in college, I have 'mummy and connor time'. I play with him, etc. When he sleeps, I do college work and/or cleaning. And we also walk everywhere pretty much to kill time. I refuse to have free time, because free time is lonely. The worse time is night, but if you are busy all day, it means it's easier to sleep.
It;s soo soooooo hard, but in the long run, it's better than being in an unhappy relationship x

 

[chels24uk]

im lonely as hell to. I have no-one around me and hoping desperatly for a house transfer to come through soon so can be with friends and family again.
When my son is at school i do the housework or any jobs that need doing. I read whenever I can. When hes home we play a lot. When ive had the baby im going to be occupying my free time trying to get a part-time job. Really all you can do is try to keep yourself busy. Nights are the worst for me, i often just go to bed early. Even though now im lonely as hell and have had lots of "i miss him" moments, i wouldnt go back because we broke up for a reason and I rather be lonely for a while than waste my time in an un-happy relationship.
I dont think pregnancy hormones help either!!
Surround yourself with friends if you can and just find ways to fill your time. You'll come through it eventually xxx

 

[Marlarky]

Your situation is just like mine!! I just had LO 3 weeks ago and FOB and I are in the process of splitting up. We think about it all the time but we never actually split,and then are happy again short-term but now I am actually serious about splitting. Things have never really been right between us either and I am lonely even when FOB IS home. Im not appreciated or nothing. Just know that your baby is the only one you need in your life and for the first weeks of their life, they dont exactly make you "un-lonely" because they mainly just sleep eat and poop but once they start staying awake more and smiling, giggling, etc etc., Your heart will MELT!!!!!!

Until then, Im sure women in this thread are lovely and will have lots of advice for you
Take care!

 

[sarahxx]

it is really really lonely but it gets easier as they get older and you find more ways to occupy your time. like the other ladies are saying, it is better than being in an unhappy relationship, although it is harder to begin with. things will get better, try to get out the house as much as you can and see your friends and family, other than that i can't think of anything to tell you. hope you feel better soon xxx

 

[tanzarini]

When me and my ex split when I was 5 months pregnant with the twins I did nothing but cry for about 2 weeks!! I had raging insomnia too. But I did get better, and I just feel so lucky to have my children here safe and well I still have bad days (last Friday for example I just kept bursting into tears for no apparent reason) but then one of my kids does something and it melts away. I try and keep busy as much as I can, I'll just go and look round the shops for the sake of it some days. But the nights are still hard, all 3 of my kids are great sleepers so I know I'll be downstairs alone from 8pm onwards... So I try and find something productive to do to take my mind off things (making homemade babyfood at the minute lol). I like to read too Hope you feel ok soon xx

 

[Newdreemz]

Its gets easier. Sounds cliche, but it does. That's not to say you won't have moments, and you won't fight the tears or be reminded of your relationship when you see happy couples...no, I won't say that..lol. BUT it does get easier to accept. Its been 6 months, a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG 6 months since I've FINALLY got to a place where the loneliness doesn't eat me up as much. Now when he crosses of my mind, I get more angry than sad which is GOOD! That's progress! I guess what I'm saying is losing someone you love is sort of like grieving someones death. You know? Were just going through the stages of grief. And eventually you WILL accept it. And I'm still at a place trying to accept it but at least I'm growing. And it will get easier. Time really does heal all wounds.

 

[lal]

The pregnancy is soooo much harder than the baby. I don't know how I made it through that part, but now that my son is here I am so much happier. I have moments that I get really angry at how FOB treated me while I was pregnant, and it is hard because I have to see him so much now, but at the end of the day I have a perfect baby and that is all I care about. It felt so impossible that things would ever get better while I was pregnant, but then I had him, and oh my goodness they are. Chin up, it gets better and you will look back and be so relieved the pregnancy is over! And there's no time for lonely when you're chatting with a cooing baby

 

[Worrywort]

When you have the baby you can get outand about with the pram, this can satisfy some of the social need, hubby was never there even when he was if you know what I mean, so it's easier for me to adjust. Of course I stopped loving him
Years ago so I don't miss him at all either which does make a difference, and I'm so busy with dd from morning to night, that I dont get much time to think about right now. She is 13 months

During pregnancy try to get out and about as much as you can to ease the loneliness until lo comes along, find a nice busy cafe or park. As pregnancy progresses you will find people will chat to you sometimes, and when baby is born that will happen more.

 

[18singlemom2b]

i'm going through something similar as well, just recently chose to completely cut fob off and i changed my phone number on him. it's going to be lonely, but once my daughters here i think i will be so busy being a new mother and i only figure things get better as time goes on.

 

[angelpkj]

you can never be truely happy with someone else till your happy with yourself

we need to learn to accept and love ourselves and our own company,its hard but i like to think if i ever met anyone and it didn't work out i wouldn't be scared of bein alone again because i know yes its hard but i can cope,i can smile and i don't need anyone else but me and my baby and one day the time will come and someone comes along

 

[jocelynmarie]

you can never be truely happy with someone else till your happy with yourself

we need to learn to accept and love ourselves and our own company,its hard but i like to think if i ever met anyone and it didn't work out i wouldn't be scared of bein alone again because i know yes its hard but i can cope,i can smile and i don't need anyone else but me and my baby and one day the time will come and someone comes along

I hear you 100%. I am by no means afraid of being single. In fact I have no intentions of dating for a very long time. My focus right now is 100% on my little peanut, but there are times when it strikes me just how alone I am right now. My friends still go out and drink a lot and I don't want to be around that and I spend a lot of time with my family, but there's still a lot of time by myself which I'm sure I should appreciate while I have it!! lol

 

[rea_rawr]

It's only lonely at night i find. In the day i'm to busy to notice. It does get easier. Once your lo gets here you will be fine. She will keep you busy and, Your hormones wont be wreaking havoc x