How do you deal with well meaning people giving you advice?

[MelliPaige]

None of my family breastfed so they don't understand..they think I need to get him on a schedule instead of feeding on demand...and if someone is holding him when he's hungry (even if he just ate an hour ago) they tell me he's just spoiled to me...I try to tell them no, breastfed babies are different and they tell me they have had babies before, I need to put him on a schedule of every three hours. I know what I'm doing is right by my baby..but what can I say to these people?

 

[Marythefairy]

I try and be polite and smile but it's hard. I don't envy you all my family nd and most of my friends so I rarely get unhelpful remarks. You know you're doing the right thing fir your baby so stay strong and don't let them get to you.

 

[sheldonsmommy]

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

You know your baby best

 

[leigh5tom]

My mother in law says stupid things like 'oh he always looks hungry doesn't he' and 'do you think you're making enough milk?' 'Hes still so tiny isn't he' 'are you still not wanting to give a bottle?' 'Yhe thing with breastfeeding is that you never know how much they are getting' oh shut up mother in law you know nothing !

 

[Brieanna]

I told my family and friends explicitly how/why I feed my baby like I do a few times in the beginning until I knew they understood and then I would just smile and nod at their suggestions while doing what I knew was best. If they wanted to hold dd they had to deal with it, lol!

I was NEVER apologetic (but never rude either) about anything like taking lo when I knew she was hungry even if it had only been an hour and if they honestly had a real question about anything (instead of criticizing), I was happy to explain.

It was very important to me to bf so I acted like I didn't care if people thought I was stupid, wrong, spoiling etc, and I just did what I knew was right. But it is hard.

 

[Rachel_C]

I just tell them (politely... ish, depending on how aggressive they're being!) that current advice is different to what they were told X years ago (again, the number depends how polite I'm being!) e.g. "Oh yes, they used to think that you had to set a schedule but we know that babies need feeding on demand now as it's much healthier" etc. MIL responded very well to it - she now tells me 'modern' things she's heard from friends, I don't think she likes to be thought old

 

[Perplexed]

I let it in one ear & out the other. They don't spend long enough with me to know whether I follow or not so they can't "further" advise & interfere. So there's more action needed on my part.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I always just smiled and tried my best to ignore them. My DH's family said exactly the same things and it was so annoying. They didn't know a thing about breastfeeding but of course 'they knew best' as they'd been parents for longer. I would tell them what the current advice is, but if they're very stubborn you unfortunately just have to let it go over your head and carry on doing what you're doing

 

[AC1987]

haha I guess it'd depend on if they really annoyed you or how you'd want to respond... you can either just tell them that your pediatrician suggests you feed your LO every 1-3 hours, and let them know you are following their advice. Or you could tell them not eat or drink anything when they go to, and say "Didn't you just eat or drink?"

My DH will at times tell me I shouldn't feed DD2 if I just fed her and I'll be like umm she is tiny her tummy is tiny therefore it can only handle so much milk at a time. Which he seems to accept.

 

[Bambino123]

I'm another "in one ear out the other"
If they persist I just say breastfed babies are different.

I had one neighbour that used to lecture me about how all her babies were breastfed, and how they were all on a schedule and slept through the night. After months and months of this hounding I discovered she breastfed all her babies 2 weeks. That was when I realised I should just ignore all "advice"

 

[Here_we_go]

I suppose I'm rather rude but I'd tell them they raised their children how they wanted, you are raising your own and that person obviously doesn't know the first thing about breastfeeding. Breastfeeding on demand is how you keep a supply up. I would tell them "When I want your opinion on how to raise my child, I'll ask for it"

Ask them about THEIR schedules. Do they eat and drink strictly once every 3 hours themselves?

It makes me mad hearing idiots say things like that. Then they'll say something stupider like "Well, I tried to breastfeed but didn't have any milk" Gee, wonder why with that lovely schedule *rolling eyes*