How do you do it...

[sophiew]

My Ex, FOB, has told me he wants nothing to do with LO.. Which is the only thing keeping me going right now. im so sure when LO arrives that he'll change his mind and get a court order. My last daughters Dad did it.. although I didnt deny him access.

How do you bring yourselves to take LO to contact when you know FOB is bad for them? How do you bring yourselves to be civil to them for the sake of your LO when you hate them so badly x

 

[teal]

I don't have any advice because I've not seen my ex in over 3 years but wanted to leave some hugs xx

 

[rockabillymom]

I know its hard I have to literally be detach myself from my body when I have to deal with FOB. I know LO loves him very much though so I doubt deny her seeing her father even if I think hes a piece of shit she doesnt know it and she loves him. As for new LO he hasnt made any attempt to even ask about baby so I just am waiting till I go into labor and see what he does from there. If he decides he wants something to do with her ill let him if he doesnt then ill be just as good a mommy and daddy to both my los.

 

[MissJayde]

My ex is the father of both my kids and has contact with them both. My 3 year old stays with him 3 nights a fortnight and on the weekend visit I still cry my heart out when she leaves. My4 month old has just started going for 2 hours per week and I hate this with a passion. I clock watch the entire time. I hate it and wish it didn't happen but then that is my feelings and not necessarily what is best for my kids. My ex is selfish and was a poor excuse for a husband but he is trying with his kids. Doesn't mean I like shared care, but it is better to give him a little (voluntarily) than a court ordered lot more!

 

[sophiew]

I honestly don't trust him to be a good father. He's been emotionally abusing me, threatening me. He told me last week he hopes this baby dies before it's born.

I don't think he'll be any sort of decent guy in my LO's life. It's not about pushing past what I think.. but more protecting my LO. I really want to deny him access, but I know this'll just make it worse. He says he wants nothing to do with LO.. I know when they're born he'll change his mind to please his Mum and hurt me.

 

[MissJayde]

If you have been abused emotionally or otherwise get to see a counsellor. That was in the event he takes you to court for access / custody you may be able to use testimony from that to assist your case in not allowing him access or if he must have access only supervised access. I know in Australia we have contact centers where all access with children is monitored.

 

[Ceejay123]

If you have reason to believe he's not a fit Father.. or if he threatened you... Take him to court. Well, let him take you to court. At least it'll be supervised.. x

 

[Jade--x]

Keep every text every email everything he sends you and record any conversations. That way you have proof of what he's doing to you and what he's been saying. Let him go through court they will only give him supervised visits if he's like that..Although if he's being like that the court process is really long and he'll more than likely not want to go through with it all. As for bringing yourself to be civil and taking them to contact I had a family member involved who did it for me as I'd had enough after what I'd been through and there was no being civil for my child. We'd tried that and I just got emails asking us to get back together and then abusive messages about me having a new partner when I said no. Maybe things will change in the future who knows x

 

[lizardbreath]

Honestly I still get along with fob quite well. The girls are with him 3 - 4 days a week and vise versa for me I don't want him to miss a thing in their lives and he doesn't want me to miss out. We seem to be weird though. All I can give is hugs because my situation is different.

 

[Laura2919]

I don't have any advice but I want to send you

 

[sophiew]

I was right - he called today saying he's taking me to court for custody

 

[resursval]

I was right - he called today saying he's taking me to court for custody

God I am so sorry

 

[Ceejay123]

Wait and see what happens when your LO is actually here... He might lose interest ? X