How do you get past the fear?

[AllMacsNow]

Hi all,

My husband and I have been TTC for a year now (15 cycles), and I had a chemical pregnancy (lost at 4w6d) in April...

Now I'm pregnant again, and want to be thrilled... *am* thrilled... at least, the part of me that's not terrified.

And I'm upset that we've finally (hopefully) achieved this thing that we've wanted for so so long... and can't get happy, through the fear.

How do you get happy?

 

[ericacaca]

First of all, congratulations

To be really honest, after losing a baby at 18 weeks I never really got past the fear until now baby is full term. What got me through was the HOPE that there was going to be a baby in my arms in 40 weeks time.

Try to enjoy the moments you have. xxx

 

[SabrinaKat]

Hi, I posted this back in March, but searched for it -- to add here....

After a mc and two possible chemicals, my LO was born in Feb (see my post 'SabrinaKat's Good News'/and avatar picture!), so it is possible to get the happy ending! I was worried, nervous and anxious throughout my pregnancy, but my advice is:

1. Take it one day/one hour at a time.
2. If you break into 'milestones', e.g. the 12wk scan, the 16wk scan, feeling the baby finally move, etc., it is perhaps more manageable mentally.
3. If you don't want to buy anything because you're superstitious - that's fine!
4. If people tell you everything will be fine and you are having a bad time, just smile (unless it's the doctor looking at a scan with good news!)
5. If you still remember the mc/lost little one and feel a little sad, that's okay!
6. If people ask you if it's your first, it's okay to say 'yes' -- you're not forgetting the lost ones, just making it easier for yourself with strangers.
7. It's okay to worry every single day, but also visualise yourself with baby in your arms sometimes too!
8. If something doesn't feel right, TELL YOUR DOCTOR (ultimately, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure in wk32 -- made it to wk36, said to my ob/gyn -- I don't feel right, blood work showed PE, and baby delivered that day (we're both fine)
9. It's okay to NOT think about the pregnancy sometimes -- there's nothing wrong with you for feeling disconnected -- it's a protection mechanism and NORMAL
10. Nothing is a greater feeling than when LO is placed in your arms and to sigh later and wonder about the lost babies is OK.

best wishes

 

[xclairyx]

Hi hon. I miscarried my second child at 8 weeks it devistated me. I fell pregnant again and had a happy baby boy. Im currently pregnant again and i am the same im terrifed! im currently 5-6 weeks and the hubby has told everyone so ive confirmed it all warned everyone its early days ect. Tbh i dont think well ever stop being scared and worried but we have got to enjoy it extra stress isnt needed.
I keep googling things for example how common is it? whats causes a miscarriage. I deffo need to stop that!