How do you get through first 12 weeks without worrying about mc?

[xZoeyx]

Every ache and pain, every lack of "pregnancy symptom" has me convinced this is going to end badly.

I feel so disconnected from this pregnancy! Like there is no way I can be excited, and I think it's cos I don't feel pregnant at all? Besides some obvious waves of nausea I feel nothing! No sore boobs, nothing!

Every day is going to drag until that 12 week scan, it's so hard not to spend every day thinking is the the day I'll bleed and lose it?

I've had 2 M/C and one healthy baby.

Thanks for reading

 

[Selinet]

Ooohhh dear, you are working urself up. I do understand that feeling having gone through it twice. The one thing I would say it to rub ur belly & talk to ur baby saying positive words, put music for ur bb to listen to, you never know luv, that would also make you feel good as well. You ever heard of that saying if you speak positively you feel positive. Trust me. I am a leukemia Survivor my mom passed away of breast cancer in my last years of high school, my dad was murdered in front of me at 5 years old by "mistake" by his friend...I had to learn how to speak positive. It really does make a difference. It's not going to take away what may pop up in your mind but in you try to do the opposite it will distract it. I might have shared too much of my life but if it's going to help anyone else I will use my testimony. I am fighting for my rainbow as well hopefully it'll be this month for me. Meanwhile I will enjoy your pregnancy together with you! 🤗🤗🤗

 

[Koifish]

I don't know that it really helps but outside of bad nausea I don't feel pregnant, I have no other symptoms. I have had a few bleeds. However baby is there and kicking. Don't let a lack of symptoms freak you out, a lot of women don't have a lot of symptoms if any. I know it's rough, can you book a private scan to help ease your mind until your appointment? I try to keep myself busy and not keep track of the days/week until my appointment. I hope you have a nice sticky bean!

 

[xZoeyx]

Thanks Selinet & Koifish.

Selinet that's quite the life you've had so far, I bow down to you having survived! I think I'd have given up way before!!!
I suffer with anxiety anyway so yeah I am definitely working myself up!

Koifish - thank you for your reassuring words.

Would it be too early for a private scan as I'm only 4 weeks pregnant!!??
I distinctly remember the first sign of pregnancy before a test for me was how sore my boobs were. This pregnancy so far is totally different, it's only very early days and my PG tests seems to be developing well so far at the right pace but even still I can't help but wonder.

I don't know why I feel so disconnected from this pregnancy. I'm super happy that I'm pregnant but have convinced myself I've no right to be happy cos it could end badly. Weird I know!

 

[Selinet]

Aawww thank you dear, I remember being pregnant for my son I literally didn't have any symptoms other than heartburn and sore boobs and it started when I was about 3 to 4M. So yes don't worry so much about symptoms right now luv, different pregnancy different gender maybe ;* ,* xoxoxo you are going to be ok. Some of us do experience postpartum depression very early on during the pregnancy so it can also be that but nothing negative towards your pregnancy. Negative thoughts away don't bother my friend!!! You are pregnant my dear yayyyyy! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗😙😙

 

[Koifish]

Yes I'd wait and see if you can book closer to 7-8weeks just because you won't see much and heartbeat may not come until 5-6weeks sometimes later so I'd wait a bit just so you don't go to early and freak yourself out instead. You could always call and explain your concerns and see what they suggest. If your still taking tests and it's progressing nicely then that's fantastic. Just take care of yourself, eat well, take your vitamins relax because it's good for baby.

My first pregnancy I sware I had ever negative symptom possible including food aversion and really sore breasts it was awful. I didn't plan on having a third, it was a total surprise. This time is very different I sware something was wrong I have no symptoms except for nausea. I don't really feel connected to this pregnancy at all, I am excited but I just don't feel pregnant. I think it will get better with time. I had an early scan due to the bleed and 8wk scan and there's a little growing baby.

Each pregnancy is different and it's absolutely hard not to worry, but do the best you can! Congrats on baby!!!

 

[xdxxtx]

This is my fifth pregnancy, and I have four healthy, awesome kids. I've only had perfect pregnancies and "easy" (although long) labors and deliveries. That being said, I've never stopped worrying. I've worried through each and every pregnancy, even without having any bad experiences. So, to have experienced a loss or more, I can't imagine how someone in that position would get through without any worries. It's normal and natural to worry, and it's okay.

I just try to keep as busy as possible throughout the first trimester. I fill ALL of my free time because it keeps my mind off of the pregnancy and also helps it go by faster. That's not to say I don't worry every second I'm NOT doing something - because I do... And it's also probably not the best to just "get through it" but that's the only way I can cope with the anxiety it gives me. Once I'm around 9 weeks along, I start to ease up a little anyway. When I get to 12 weeks, I ease up a little more. I still worry throughout the whole pregnancy, but it gets better with every passing week, for me.

I hope you have a PERFECT pregnancy. I think when we're so busy being anxious, it's hard to connect. It will come in time.

 

[SonnyH]

Honestly, you just do. You'll get through it! I know it's easier said than done but I took a pragmatic approach that at the end of the day, there is nothing you can do until much later in pregnancy if anything goes wrong. Particularly in the first trimester. You just have to let your body get on with it. If the pregnancy is to be, it will be. If it isn't, there was most likely something genetically wrong and the pregnancy very sadly wouldn't have been viable. You can choose to spend weeks being emotionally exhausted & worrying or you carry on and try to be excited for your pregnancy. Either way, it won't change the outcome.

I did worry in the first trimester, as I'm sure everyone does, but just didn't let it overtake my life. They say every pregnancy is different, so certainly don't worry about your symptoms being different. You are only 4 weeks, typically they kick in a bit later. Mine hit me like a train at 6 weeks! I had zero symptoms until that point. And in terms of being disconnected, again, you are super early in pregnancy. It took me until my 12 week scan for it to feel real at all. Until then, I just felt like I had some terrible sickness disease! It still seems surreal now at 38 weeks to be honest, I love this little one so much but for me, I feel the bond & connection will happen once I meet her!

All the best for your pregnancy!

 

[sunnydee]

I think without an early scan it's hard to relax about it! I'm 8 weeks now and for my last pregnancy I'd already had a scan so this time is weird that I have to wait until 12 weeks. I still don't really have any strong or consistent symptoms, they come and go. Try to keep positive

 

[Poppymist_BC]

Sweetie I am so sorry your having these awful thoughts I too went through this I have had 6 MC's so was feeling the exact same as you. I am now 11 weeks 5 days I have had 4 early scans due to my own anxiety the early pregnancy unit were fantastic and accommodating in helping me calm down by scanning to check my baby..... my last scan was 9 weeks and 6 days and I am back to feeling anxious that some things wrong my 12 week scan isn't until Friday and I know it's gonna drag. After my 12 week I am being booked in for a 14 weeks scan as well then I have a private scan at 17 weeks booked then my 20 week scan and another private scan booked for 26 weeks. It sound excessive but it's the only way I'm gonna get through this pregnancy without having constant panic attacks.

My point being call your early pregnancy unit tell them you suffer from anxiety and your having panic attacks that baby is not ok and see what they say my local hospital were great hopefully yours will be too.

Sorry for rambling on just wanted to tell you my experience

 

[xZoeyx]

Thanks everyone. Have taken everything into account. Im definitely going to look into contacting my local unit and explaining how I'm feeling. Especially with lack of symptoms as that's definitely intensifying my worry!

Thanks everyone xx

 

[Sasha92]

I've been the same. I had a 6 week scan last week and I've already booked a 8 week scan as I'm just so scared about misscarrying... I'm hoping that calms my nerves until the 12 week scan but I honestly don't know how people go through the first trimester without a scan. I'm only 7 weeks atm and it's driving me absolutely crazy.

The one thing that makes me feel better is the odds are in your favour to have a healthy pregnancy.

 

[wookie130]

Honestly, embrace the worry, as it's completely normal and natural to feel this way. I had two early losses prior to having my first child, and I tend to be a bundle of nerves even in the second and third trimesters. Look, you want this baby. You don't want something to go wrong. The very idea that something could be wrong, is terrifying at times!

So, please understand that what you're feeling has been felt by many mothers NOW, and before you. That being said, book a reassurance scan for 7 or 8 weeks, so you can take a peek at baby, and hear the heartbeat. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know for sure if everything is fine!

 

[Cheshire.cat]

I feel the exact same way. I had a miscarriage last year December and I'm 8 weeks now and I'm always so worried. My doctor will only see me at 12 weeks so it feels like forever before we have confirmation that everything is ok.
I also have very bad anxiety so my mind is always running wild with possibilities but I have also been told to talk positive and be positive as Selinet said above.

Counting down the days till we get to see this baby and hear their heartbeat.

 

[Missbb2591]

I feel exactly the same, I go from being reassured by the nausea and exhaustion and sore boobs to being totally convinced I've lost the baby already. This baby wasn't planned but I love pip already and the thought of losing it fills me with dread. I've miscarried before and I had spotting but ended up being a mmc so even though I've had no bleeding I'm worried when I go for my scan on the 24th there will be no heartbeat. The first trimester is so rough and I'm hoping all being well il never have to do it again coz I'm driving myself nuts!

 

[MrsJT9]

I feel your pain, I had a miscarriage in January and I'm currently 12 weeks today, I had a scan at 6 weeks and a scan at 8+5 both showed baby ok and with heartbeat yet I can't help but worry that come Monday when I have my 12 week scan something will have gone wrong between 8+5 and now.

I had greasy hair for most of this pregnancy and it's now back to normal, I felt sick for most of it and this has eased right off and now I've had mild diarrhea for a week and for some reason can't get it out of my head that this is a bad sign.

I have a Doppler which I have used 4 times for about 20 mins each time and cannot find the baby's heartbeat so I'm definitely freaking out and think that something has gone wrong

 

[Missbb2591]

I feel your pain, I had a miscarriage in January and I'm currently 12 weeks today, I had a scan at 6 weeks and a scan at 8+5 both showed baby ok and with heartbeat yet I can't help but worry that come Monday when I have my 12 week scan something will have gone wrong between 8+5 and now.

I had greasy hair for most of this pregnancy and it's now back to normal, I felt sick for most of it and this has eased right off and now I've had mild diarrhea for a week and for some reason can't get it out of my head that this is a bad sign.

I have a Doppler which I have used 4 times for about 20 mins each time and cannot find the baby's heartbeat so I'm definitely freaking out and think that something has gone wrong

Baby is so tiny at 12 weeks that a midwife would have a job on finding the heartbeat even at 16 weeks its difficult so don't see that as a bad sign chick, the pregnancy is still mostly behind the pubic bone too so that can also block it. If everything was fine at 8 weeks chances are it will be fine now too

 

[baileybubs]

Aw it's so hard not to worry after experiencing a loss and despite having 2 healthy children since my MMC I was the same with my current pregnancy, and I still am despite 3 scans (a 4th booked for Sunday!) and hearing the HB on the Doppler.
A mothers job is to worry I guess it's just a case of doing whatever you can to ease that anxiety when it's interfering with daily life. I had bleeding at 7 weeks but a scan showed a healthy bean and HB, but even so I wanted a reassurance scan which I had at 10 weeks (my NHS dating scan was scheduled for 14 weeks and no way was I waiting that long!).

I guess the best thing you can do is just tell yourself that today you are pregnant, you have that little bean inside you right now and as far as you know all is ok. But know that it's also ok to be worried, I know I had a couple of days where I cried non stop with worry but my DH was great and just kept insisting everything was ok, even though I kept telling him that he couldn't possibly know that. Just hearing someone keep telling me that it was all ok really helped.

Missbb just to let you know that I've had my Doppler since 10 weeks, I found the HB but it found me a loooooong time to find. I then couldn't find it again for 2-3 weeks properly. From around 14 weeks I've been able to find it easier but that's coz I now know where to look, as it turns out my placenta is at the front so makes it very hard. This could be the case for you too, plus at 12 weeks baby is still really low down.