How do you prepare yourself to say goodbye?

[DebbieF]

We found out yesterday that our 9 and a half year old cat has an aggressive form of cancer. This all started last Friday when he threw up and refused to eat. We took him to the vet on Monday, and she sent us to a specialist yesterday that gave us the news. I just can't stop crying. My Mickey should have had many happy, healthy years left and he doesn't! If I see him suffering too much we will have to put him to sleep, but how can I prepare myself for this? He has been my baby since he was a kitten...

https://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k76/DebraF/001-1.jpg

 

[HoneyBee144]

I'm so sorry, I don't have any advice but I didn't want to read and run. Your boy is gorgeous, I have a ginger persian cross and he's my baby, along with my long haired miniature dachshund and my "actual" baby! I can't imagine losing any of them.
I guess as it's an aggressive form of cancer there's not much they can do?
I did read a quote recently from Jan Fennell a renowned dog trainer who said 'it's either them in pain or us in pain and it should never be them'. I guess as harsh as it may sound I'd rather be in pain than them. If it comes to that's what's kindest for him then at least you know he was well loved

 

[Kess]

I just kept looking at my old dog, assessing her quality of life, and one day I just knew. She seemed ready, even if I wasn't. I've also read that you can give yourself a deadline, so if they're not feeling better (I don't mean healthy again obviously, but quality of life seems to go up and down in a general downward trend) by x date then you'll make the call, which can help stop you thinking, "Just one more day, she might be better tomorrow". It helped me to make arrangements early - I'd found the crematorium I wanted to use a few weeks in advance, and checked prices and arrangements with the vet (we had the vet come out as she didn't like going there). It was easier dealing with the details when it wasn't such an immediate issue, and made it simpler at the time. I also kept checking with the vet and the physio we had for her as to their views on whether she was still okay for a bit, and the physio in particular was helpful in guesstimating how long we'd have before her back legs went and what symptoms to look out for to know it was going to be soon (we wanted to make the call before she had the distress of that happening, but not too soon IYKWIM).

I'm sorry about your boy. It's a hard thing to do, PTS, but it is a last act of love.

 

[DebbieF]

Thank you for your responses, ladies. We said goodbye to him last Friday. It's been hell for me, but I know we did the right thing for him.

 

[pink_phoenix]

Debbie I'm so so sorry.
I lost my beloved dog in April to cancer. She was so poorly she had all but given up by the time we made the decision to take her to the vets and even they were shocked at how long she had lasted.

Leaving her there was the most heart breaking thing I have ever had to do. She was 13 but to me was just a puppy still.

When I look back now at pictures of her towards the end she was so bloated and looked so miserable but I'm still racked with guilt that I did the wrong thing! I still cry almost every day. We had a wonderful day the last day, she slept with me till 11 then we got up and had a bath, she ate treats all day I took lots of pictures and then we went for a walk. She only just managed to get there tho.

I'd love to be able to tell you it gets easier but for me it just hasn't been the case. Altho I have now stopped dreaming about her being mad with me.

I wear a special locket everyday with her ashes in and have a favorite picture next to my bed and also had my all time favorite picture of her tattooed on my arm so she's always looking up at me.

It's so unbelievably hard and my heart goes out to you, but u must find your own way to griev that makes it better. I got a few unsavoury comments about going too far over a dog because I got a tattoo which cut me to the core.

Try and remember the good days you had with your beautiful little man and not torment urself over the bad as it will really make u sick xxx

It nout else always remember that people are here for you when ever you need to talk x
And if you just need a rant or to vent frustration please don't hesitate to send me a message x

Having someone who understands makes all the world of difference xxx