How do you stay in your happy place?

[charmed16]

Hey ladies. Just wondering how you keep your sanity? TTC is harder then I thought would be. Month 3 for me. I know it doesn't sound very long, but it feels it. This month I'm feeling the blues. Only was able to have 1 good day on my ovulation week I'm feeling low :/.

 

[alikat2014]

I read someone who put it in a positive light when AF came, they said that they get to enjoy some stuff they won't be able to once pregnant like sushi or wine. Personally I try not to get my hopes up, but this AF I just cried it out then felt better. Hope that helps!

 

[charmed16]

I try to think of it that way. Is still kind of a bummer. Sometimes a good cry is all you need. I know I'm going to credit if AF shows up this month. Thanks for the reply! I hope our baby wishes come true and soon!

 

[charmed16]

Cry not credit. Lol

 

[Fleur828815]

Hi charmed, I'm also in the early stages of TTC (cycle 2) and I feel the same!

alikat, I also mentioned enjoying things like sushi if I'm not pregnant but I can't even follow my own advice most of the time. Sushi is such a meagre consolation...

I waited so long for everything to be as "perfect" as possible and now I wish I'd listened to my DH and started trying earlier. I'm literally surrounded by babies and pregnant friends, most of whom have fallen pregnant on the first try or without trying. So I'm scared that statistically it means it'll take a while for me

 

[KatO79]

Here's some experience coming from someone who's been TTCing for 1 year now (and getting a referral in October)

The first 4-5 months or so, I wasn't all that upset when I'd get my s since I knew due to our ages (we started when I was 34 and DH 36, now I'm 35 and DH is 37), it would take longer. So I felt that if it didn't happen in the first 6 months, I'd start to feel a bit stressed about it. Well, the 6 month mark came and went and I started to loose it a bit. Seeing AF turned from a big disappointment to almost a crisis and I'd either go into a rage for a few minutes and cry to I'd cry like crazy each time

Cycle #7 I thought we'd done it, my temps were very high compared to the other cycles, and I was experiencing loads of symptoms so I was sure we'd done it and wanted to test at 18 DPO so I could see a big fat line. But at 17 DPO, I started cramping like crazy and when I went to the bathroom, I was bleeding this strange watery blood. I was 100% sure I was experiencing a chemical and was extremely upset for a few days

For a few cycles, I'd just cry whenever AF showed up but had some hope that I'd conceive in the first or 2nd cycle after the chemical. When that didn't happen, I went into crisis mode everytime AF showed up I could also feel that it was putting a strain on me and my DH, not to mention all the scheduled BDing was putting (for the most part) a damper on our sex life. So since cycle #12 (I'm on cycle #13 now), we've gone NTNP and taken the stress off of things. The promise of a referral has also helped but we decided we couldn't do the whole actively TTCing thing anymore since it wasn't giving us much in the way of results and was effecting our relationship badly.

So how do I stay in my happy place? I don't. I allow myself to feel disappointed over AF, maybe have a short cry, and then move on to the next cycle, gradually becoming more positive mentally as O day gets nearer as being negative won't help my already lower chances. Going NTNP has also helped me relax more which is always a good thing when TTCing.

So that's some experiencing coming from someone who's been at this "game" longer than many of the other posters here

 

[charmed16]

I've considered the ntnp way of getting pregnant. Trying really hard to make a baby can definitely put a strain on the relationship. Kat079 I'm sorry its been a long hard journey for you. I can't imagine the pain of trying for a year. I know if I hit the 6 month mark with no baby, I will be losing all my cool. Being halfway there stresses me out. Fleur I get how you feel. Its not fun being the person who has to wait and try for months tell pregnancy finally happens.

 

[Fleur828815]

Thanks for the advice Kat, hope you will be blessed with a BFP and a healthy baby soon.

charmed, my stress levels will also go through the roof if things don't work out.

 

[Tink_]

Kat, I can empathise a lot!

I think as Kat said, I allow myself to be disappointed but I also try and remind myself that though I am allowed to be disappointed and sad, it is also important to not allow myself to drown in it sort of thing. So I keep myself as busy as I can, especially in the TWW and when I have AF, I allow myself a bit more leeway in terms of comfort things like food [yum yum] or a weepy movie.

It has helped me that I am now getting a referral which was something that terrified me wouldn't happen early on if I needed it.

Keep talking to us here There are always people around who will be willing to listen!

xx

 

[KatO79]

Kat, I can empathise a lot!

I think as Kat said, I allow myself to be disappointed but I also try and remind myself that though I am allowed to be disappointed and sad, it is also important to not allow myself to drown in it sort of thing. So I keep myself as busy as I can, especially in the TWW and when I have AF, I allow myself a bit more leeway in terms of comfort things like food [yum yum] or a weepy movie.

It has helped me that I am now getting a referral which was something that terrified me wouldn't happen early on if I needed it.

Keep talking to us here There are always people around who will be willing to listen!

xx

Hi Tink_

Seems we have a fairly similar way of handling our disappointment each month.

I'm also happier at the moment because I'm also waiting on a referral Was in for a blood test today and DH is going in next week on Tuesday, then we'll get the referral when our GP gets the results.

It's so nice to have nice people to talk to about these things. I don't want to burden DH with all of it, my in-laws aren't very helpful with the "just-relax-and-it'll-happen" mantra and my selfish and mentally ill mother doesn't want to hear anything and keeps rubbing in my face how easy she had it (she had 6 kids) so it's nice to vent and discuss things here

 

[Tink_]

It is definitely nice to have people here. My OH is starting to get a bit like "argh" I think so I don't want to say too much and my Mum is supportive but kind of not engaged with it as such.

I also went in for a blood test today! Though mine actually didn't go ahead because my veins decided to evil and hide. I hope the results are good for you

 

[KatO79]

It is definitely nice to have people here. My OH is starting to get a bit like "argh" I think so I don't want to say too much and my Mum is supportive but kind of not engaged with it as such.

I also went in for a blood test today! Though mine actually didn't go ahead because my veins decided to evil and hide. I hope the results are good for you

Oh no, naughty veins I think it's hard to take blood from me as well, luckily the secretary found one she could use on my right arm but she said I wasn't easy to take blood from because I lack prominent veins to take from

Think they're only testing for Hepatitis B+C, HIV, rubella (I think) and TSH. I guess any testing of other hormones is up to the clinic. Maybe my GP doesn't deem it necessary because my cycles are crazy regular at 26 days (with the fairly rare 27 day cycle here and there)

I hope your veins aren't so shy next time and you also get good results

OMG, funny story: my DH came home and I told him I went up for my blood test and reminded him he has to go Tuesday and to remember to tell the GP we want the best clinic. So he asked how it went and I told him she had a hard time finding a vein in my arm but managed to find one and he gets this terrified look on his face and splutters: wait, they take the blood through a vein in your arm, I thought they only took 3-4 drops through your finger Oops, guess I shouldn't of said anything but I did get a great laugh out of it

 

[Tink_]

Oh dear, haha at your hubby! Sounds like something mine would do. He came with me this morning but couldn't come in the room because he would have fainted. Good luck to him when we finally get pregnant and I'm in labour ;-)

Glad they found a vein for you! In the UK apparently they have to confirm ovulation before you can get a referral to the fertility specialist so this is just that so fingers crossed they can get it tomorrow so my referral can go off next week.

 

[KatO79]

Oh dear, haha at your hubby! Sounds like something mine would do. He came with me this morning but couldn't come in the room because he would have fainted. Good luck to him when we finally get pregnant and I'm in labour ;-)

Glad they found a vein for you! In the UK apparently they have to confirm ovulation before you can get a referral to the fertility specialist so this is just that so fingers crossed they can get it tomorrow so my referral can go off next week.

Yeah I'm starting to have concerns of how mine will handle it when I do get pregnant and give birth 9 months later I can imagine with all the hmmm...fluids.... and me screaming and I will most likely will be horrible to him here and there that he'll be close to getting the heck out of there

Wow that's strange You would think that's something the RE would check out. So if you didn't O, can you not get the referral?

Here's hoping, FXed!