How Long Have You Been TTC?

[stuckinoki]

DH and I have been TTC for about 2.5 years. I thought that it would get easier as the time passed, but it's only gotten more depressing and I've only gotten more bitter.

I was just wondering if there's anybody else here that's suffered losses and how they handled it.

How does everyone deal with the struggle. I feel like I need some new coping mechanisms.

DH doesn't understand and I'm feeling quite alone right now....I would love to hear from ladies in situations similar than mine.

Thanks ladies!

 

[tonibzac]

Just over a year for us and I feel myself getting more and more bitter as more friends and colleagues announce their BFPs hubby doesn't understand either, thinks I'm just cruel but it's not that I don't want them to have their BFP, I just feel like its not fair to queue jump!

I'm very busy which helps distract me - I'm a primary teacher and have 2 horses. Although I hate having long cycles, it means less AF visits which lessens the hurt I have to go through in a year I suppose

It is hard and there are no solutions, some people are just lucky. I am obsessed with my spreadsheets so when I feel down I sit and adjust my spreadsheets to calculate how much we could save if I fell pregnant now, how much maternity pay I would get on maternity leave, cost up things I want to buy etc., it wastes a good few hours and focuses my mind for when it is my turn xx

 

[Princess Lou]

Three years, five months for us. Never been pregnant.

The only 'positive' side of it, is I am now more aware of the female/male anatomy and understand more about it which will be good when educating my children.

I believe that one day I will conceive and have a healthy baby and I will do everything I can do get that. Even as early as a few month ago I didn't have hope and wanted to give up. My husband wouldn't let me as he knows how much I want this and I also know how much he does too. I am forever grateful to him for that.

There are women on here who have been trying for ten years or more and when I hear about what they have gone through, I feel that I don't have any right to be complaining but of course, I do. As do we all. My heart goes out to them and I hope they get their BFP, I hope everyone does but those women deserve it so much.

It doesn't matter though if you have been trying 1 year or 10, if you are having problems it hurts when you fail to get that baby. Just because someone has been trying longer than you doesn't mean they deserve it anymore than you, it just means they have had more disappointment.

Good luck to every couple who are trying, whether you are in month one or month 1000, I hope you get you longed for child.

What do I think is meant by my infertility?

I think it is so my husband and I grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think we are meant to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think it is meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think it is meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, it is not that we are never meant for to not have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, I am meant to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let myself down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think I have been singled out for a special treatment. I think I am meant to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me why I have been handed infertility. I already know.

 

[ald]

We have been trying for 4 years next week and never had a bfp.

It doesn't ever get any easier we just keep getting more hurdles in the way of us doing ivf

 

[wannabemummyb]

We have been trying two years. Sometimes i find it so hard i feel like giving up, others i feel ok! It is a total roller coaster of a ride. I have a feeling deep within that we will have a sticky bean one day and i will count my blessings when it does happen!

I don't feel that df understands sometimes, but then at others he gets as upset as me! Not sure if it is as much for himself as it is for me! It breaks my heart seeing him upset

 

[Skoer1360]

15 cycles in the past year because of an LPD, corrected with Clomid, starting to look like 16 cycles now though

 

[wonderstars]

Off the pill in August 2010 and trying ever since. About 5 people in that time have gotten pregnant who started trying after me. Good times, good times. Sigh. Next move is probably clomid+IUI but that'll be a 3 month wait until I see a fertility specialist as my gynecologist has done all the testing so far.

 

[MrsPete]

I got off BCP in 2007 I think. I thought, it will happen when the time is right. I didn't stress or worry, I was just NTNP. I spent two years NTNP even though I was in a good paying job with benefits. I hated that job, though, and finally quit. When I quit I left behind the health insurance. Well, I figured since I wasn't stressed anymore by that job NOW it would happen... two more years passed before it occured to me that I REALLY wanted a baby and it just wasn't happening on its own. I finally discovered charting 10 cycles ago. So, all told, we've been trying for about 5 years.
We have health insurance again now but it doesn't cover any fertility related treatments or testing.

 

[EllieGoulet]

A year next week, so not long in the scheme of things but I'm not really coping with the impending 12 month 'milestone'.....

 

[charbaby]

Well don't really know if i qualify for here yet as only been 1 year ttc ( well on the 10th jan) But the reason i'm replying is because with my 2nd child it took me 2 years 3 months to get pregnant and that time just dragged like hell!!! so i know how you feel and wanted to send you x

 

[BearsMummy]

Hi there!

I have been trying for over 10 years now, some days are easier than others, some days are harder, depends where you are in your cycle.

I just try and take each day as it comes, but still find myself obssessing over my chart, and symptoms!

Good Luck and I hope everything works out for you!

 

[sparkle87]

Weve been trying since April 2010. Had the heartbreaking news that Im not a candidate to be referred to fertility treatments from my GP so just struggling on our own until we can afford to go private

Lots of baby dust to all the LTTTCers xxx

 

[stuckinoki]

Ladies, thank you so much for sharing!

It feels good to know that I'm not alone in this struggle, and you have all written out some truly inspiring words.

I, myself long gave up wondering if it's ok to complain of feel bitter about this process...we have suffered many losses and have dealt with the anger, pain and sadness of MC and unexplained pregnancy loss.

There are times when every day is a struggle for me to smile and pretend that everything is fine....then there are other days when I'm so full of hope that I feel I could keep TTC for years [though I hope not to]

I have lost friends due to pregnancy, and I am ashamed to admit that when friends, even close ones announce their upcoming babies, I slowly start putting space between us. I can't yet comfortably and happily watch someone go through pregnancy when I have been trying and failing for so long.

Sometimes I wonder why I can't do the one thing we were created to do...and why it's so challenging for my family when we waited to try until our school loans, cars, ect were completely paid off...until we had a comfortable amount of savings and until we both were stable and happy and truly ready to be parents. I kick myself now looking back because I feel like maybe we wasted precious time

Again, ladies...thank you so much for sharing. I've been truly inspired by your words.

 

[Armywife84]

We're approaching our 2yr mark. The only time I've seen a BFP is in my dreams.

As far as coping mechanisms go (I echo you in changing it up a bit)

-I delete pregnant ones off my Facebook. But I'm going to delete my account because I'm sick of it.

-I too have lost a few friends and have isolated myself from others due to the lack of support.

-I go in the opposite direction if I see pregnant women or infants. If I linger, I could potentially have an anxiety attack.

-I've recently been seeing a therapist about my anxiety and depression that has stemmed from IF. It's not physical support, but it's someone you don't have to worry about saying insensitive comments.

-And I'm considering depression medication.

 

[AndreaFlorida]

24 months this time....6 years of NTNP with my 2nd one (he's now almost 3 Jan 17th...and thats his pic <<over there when he was around 7 months or so!)....with the first child it took 2 months NTNP....it varies this will be mine and DH's first child together....

 

[love2006]

Three years, five months for us. Never been pregnant.

The only 'positive' side of it, is I am now more aware of the female/male anatomy and understand more about it which will be good when educating my children.

I believe that one day I will conceive and have a healthy baby and I will do everything I can do get that. Even as early as a few month ago I didn't have hope and wanted to give up. My husband wouldn't let me as he knows how much I want this and I also know how much he does too. I am forever grateful to him for that.

There are women on here who have been trying for ten years or more and when I hear about what they have gone through, I feel that I don't have any right to be complaining but of course, I do. As do we all. My heart goes out to them and I hope they get their BFP, I hope everyone does but those women deserve it so much.

It doesn't matter though if you have been trying 1 year or 10, if you are having problems it hurts when you fail to get that baby. Just because someone has been trying longer than you doesn't mean they deserve it anymore than you, it just means they have had more disappointment.

Good luck to every couple who are trying, whether you are in month one or month 1000, I hope you get you longed for child.

What do I think is meant by my infertility?

I think it is so my husband and I grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think we are meant to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think it is meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think it is meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, it is not that we are never meant for to not have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, I am meant to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let myself down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think I have been singled out for a special treatment. I think I am meant to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me why I have been handed infertility. I already know.

Thank You so much for that post.

 

[phoenixrose]

What do I think is meant by my infertility?

I think it is so my husband and I grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think we are meant to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think it is meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think it is meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, it is not that we are never meant for to not have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, I am meant to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let myself down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think I have been singled out for a special treatment. I think I am meant to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me why I have been handed infertility. I already know.

Thank You so much for that post.

I agree! Thank you so much for writing that. That's exactly how I feel, I just didn't have the words to express it. Constantly fighting against something is not always easy, but who ever said the things worth having were easy to obtain. I definitely need to keep fighting for what I know I truly want.

 

[bessadoo]

We tried for over 2 years and finally got pregnant with my son. I had undiagnosed Endometiosis. HSG revealed that my right tube was blocked, even with surgery they were unable to clear it, but were able to remove a ton of scar tissue. I was devastated that I only had one tube to work with and literally gave up TTC. I had started to make peace with myself that I might never have a baby. 2 months later I got a BFP and was in shock, had a healthy baby boy 9 months later.

The second time around (yes I got greedy ), I was nervous that it would be the same roller coaster ride. So DH and I decided we would not go through all that heartache again and whatever happened, would happen. I was at peace with just one child....then 6 months of half hearted trying....BFP.

I know it's tough and there are many that struggle for much longer than I did and my journey seems like a blip in time compared to them, but I just hope I can offer a little bit of hope on those tough days.

 

[StorkStalker]

Hi.. We are over 4 years trying.. Got pregnant just over the first year of trying.. Miscarried at 10 weeks.. Never gotten pregnant again.. Unexplained infertility, which makes me go crazy... I do not cope any more.. I don´t know how?? I try to go by one day at a time.. But my mind from waking up to sleeping is on TTC overdrive... DH says I´m not enjoying my life anymore.. really?? I thought I was having the time of my life - NOT... Damn biological clock does not unplug, or at least snooze... I try to be positive, do new things, try out every thing I can, from accupunture, yoga, teas, OPKs, monitors, positions, I even had one cycle getting drunk as a springbreaker on our fertile days because that seems to do the trick for like every teenager out there?? Didn´t work.. I wish I had more positive things to say... I guess this is me now...

 

[ickle pand]

4 years and 2 months for us, with one BFP in April that ended a week later just days before our first anniversary. Some cycles are worse than others for me - my birthday cycle was a bad one because it marked another year that I'm not pregnant and reminded me that time is marching on, last cycle was also a bad one because it was my last chance to get a BFP before what would've been my due date, it was our last chance to try in 2011 and if I had been pregnant, the due date would've been on the 15th anniversary of my granny's death. I'd also worked out a cute way to tell my parents on Christmas day, so when AF arrived I was devastated.

I've been taking things much easier this cycle - just using my CBFM and not temping because I spend far too long staring at my chart, and it's been really good for me although I'm still waiting for ovulation.