How long is breastfeeding hard work?

[AngelofTroy]

My daughter is 9 weeks old now. We had a lot of issues to begin with as she was very poorly in NICU, but we've been EBF since she was 2 weeks old.

She still falls asleep on the breast all the time and even pulls off contentedly to sleep on me, but then there's still milk if I hand express and if I put her back to the breast she'll go back on.. And off and on again. It's exhausting! I tried trusting her and stopping putting her back on after she stopped, which was so nice as I could go out more easily and we had more time, but then she only gained 9oz in 15 days, so now I feel like I can't slack off at all.

I thought it would be getting easier by now. I'm lucky I've not had any pain, her latch has been checked early on by an infant feeding specialist and I attend a bf group with bf counsellors every week. Oh and she had her slight Tongue tie snipped at 3 days old.

She was born on 91st percentile but following her illness and loosing a lot of weight she has been following just above the 50th for 6 weeks now, and slipped below it for the first time when I weighed her on Tuesday.

I just want to be able to feed her without worrying.

I combined fed my son by this age and I felt so much happier and more confident and able to get out. I'm considering adding in some formula now for piece of mind but if it's going to get better soon then I'll hold off!

Edit to add: I am still listening for swallows as she often seems to be feeding but isn't, and then I do breast compressions to encourage her to start again which only works briefly. It's near impossible when we're out or I'm reading to my son etc to listen carefully so I panic not knowing whether she's really been feeding effectively or not. :/

 

[Natasha2605]

I don't think 9oz in 15 days is bad at all. Honestly id just follow her lead and let yourself breathe a little.

Easier said that done, I know that. I think us mums make things more complex that the used to be.

I remember up until Freya was about 10 weeks I'd religiously time how long she fed on each side and would keep track on my phone of which side she fed from, how long for etc. Now I just chuck her on any

 

[AngelofTroy]

I don't think 9oz in 15 days is bad at all. Honestly id just follow her lead and let yourself breathe a little.

Easier said that done, I know that. I think us mums make things more complex that the used to be.

I remember up until Freya was about 10 weeks I'd religiously time how long she fed on each side and would keep track on my phone of which side she fed from, how long for etc. Now I just chuck her on any

Thank you, I was timing all her feeds on a special app until a week ago but I deleted it as it was making me (more) crazy!

 

[noon_child]

I agree that 9oz may be just fine.
Not all measurements go bang on the curve, they go either side and just follow the curve generally. I think if LO has been on 50th for the majority of the time then that's probably the "true" weight curve - they don't always stay the same size they are born at (especially in cases where a lot of IV fluid was used during labour, or gestational diabetes etc.).

How about you follow her lead for a few weeks and then get her weighed again. You may find she's put on more! As long as she's feeding frequently, has lots of wet and dirty nappies and is (generally) content between feeds you can feel OK using a bit of trial and error to find out how well she does without your intervention.

 

[campn]

It got better for us by 12 weeks, my DS was healthy but was very small and constantly falling off the charts. You've to remember she was also in the NICU and having trouble so that probably set her back a bit, you know?

She'll have a growth spurt soon and suddenly gain a couple of pounds with cluster feeding so just keep going and it'll get better.

 

[Left wonderin]

The best advice I can give is let her lead . She may like feeding little and often . With bf babies there is no " right " way or " normal " measurable way . The only measure is in weight and dirty nappies and a contented happy baby if you have these your doing something right

I always have milk left in my boob and it always will spray if I squeeze lol.. That weight gain is not bad at all . If I were you I would hold off on the formula for a few weeks . Take the pressure off yourself . Forget the clock , timing ect , and watch your baby she will let you know if she is not getting enough !!

Take your own advise .. Stop worrying sounds like your doing a great job .

 

[RaquelDee]

Don't worry about timing feeds or if there is milk left, neither of those are any indication of whether your bub is getting enough. If you are concerned about her always falling asleep when feeding, maybe try a feed at her most alert/active time and see if she takes any more (my girl always had a really good feed when she first woke from her last nap of the day, much better than at bedtime when she was very sleepy). But given that she is around 50th percentile and still gaining quite well, I think you can just trust your baby for a while.

 

[Left wonderin]

I used to have to strip LO down to keep her awake to feed

 

[AngelofTroy]

I used to have to strip LO down to keep her awake to feed

I did this at the beginning but should I still have to do it now? It's awkward if we are out and also she still falls asleep after a while and then she's not dressed so I have to wake her getting her redressed, then she'll act hungry again.. and rinse and repeat!

 

[noon_child]

It got better for us by 12 weeks, my DS was healthy but was very small and constantly falling off the charts.

Mine too! Finally at 11 weeks we had pain free feeding, and by 15 weeks she was back on the bottom line of the chart and never fell off again.

I think most people find it starts to get easier at some point between 6 and 12 weeks, but it depends whether you have had a standard breastfeeding journey (where it is hard, but no actual problems) or whether you've had to face weight loss, tongue ties, thrush, nursing strikes etc.

To the OP - if LO takes herself off the breast after a decent feed she is probably done on that side. In babies who slip off and are not content, or are very low weight, or slip off after only a minute or so of sucking, it can be a good idea to try to put her back on. With your LO being a good weight but you being worried about it you could try putting her back on once more BUT if she comes off within a minute or so then she's probably done on that side. Always offer the second side but if again she comes off within a few minutes then she's telling you she is full.

 

[Left wonderin]

I guess you do what works for as long as is needed. Can't remember exactly but I did it for a good few weeks .

 

[minties]

I find breastfeeding hard in that it takes up so much of my day, I don't ever stress that it isn't sufficient or worry about what the baby will weigh, I trust her to take in what she needs and she seems happy and healthy.

It gets easier around 3 months when they can be awake and not attached to your chest the entire time.

 

[MKHewson]

My son took over a month to get his birth weight back, he rarely made a noise when nursing. I could never really tell. But let me say at his months he was 20lbs LOL. Each baby is different, as there is gain, wet and pooopy diapers keep going momma.

 

[biscuits104]

The eat, play, sleep routine has done wonders for me and my 9 week old. We've been following it for 5 weeks now and she wakes up ready to eat. Then she has some time with me to coo, or I put her in her bouncy seat while I do a chore or I show her the mirror, etc. my baby only nurses from one side at each feeding and it's generally only 8-12 minutes. But if I try to get her to take more she cries. I hope that helps! Good luck to you.

 

[wannabemomy37]

I second the eat, play, sleep routine if possible! Obviously my Lil guy likes to change things up still, but it tends to work out nicely that he will be awake for 1-2hr increments and then feed and sleep, or wakes up to eat then plays.

Breastfeeding got tremendously easier for me around 3 weeks. His latch suddenly improved and I feel he was filling up more before drifting to sleep. I still woke him before 4hrs as he just LOVES to sleep (day and night!) But needed him to eat at least 8 times a day.

Now at 2.5 months I still sometimes wake him to feed if I feel it's been too long (3-4hrs) but I'm trying to just go by his cues as he is more alert when awake and easier to wake now. It used to be a struggle to wake&feed...we had to strip him down and even then he'd still be sleepy. Stressed me out for sure!

Hang in there, it def gets easier! and I was told .5-1oz a day gain is good in the beginning so I think your LO is just fine!