How often do you have SEX?

[babypink2010]

Been TTC for around 2 years, the first 6 months we had sex constantly and af still appeared,

The second 6 months I learned more about ovulation and how my body worked and had sex generally every 2 days,,,,

In the past year every months a bit different 1 month I try really hard the second try and relax more but this month I have had it rough with so much going on I have had sex once I mean ONCE,

I think my body and mind just needed a well earned break, There’s no “oh I wonder if my af will come” i think just needed a break from all the heartache, But now i feel guilty for not pulling it together?

Has this ever happened to you? How often do you have sex when it’s the lttc? I find every month to be different but this month I aint even sure what happened...

 

[honeybee2]

now we're ltttc, I dont even bother counting sex or making sure we do it when I ovulate. Sex became a chore and its NOT healthy for a relationship, so I guess you could say we're not exactly NTNP because we are on metformin and waiting to see someone about IVF but we're relaxed too. Its an important factor in our relationship that we don't 'use' each other so to speak. To answer your question, every month is different. We do make love more around OV time because hormones and all make you want it more.

 

[leax]

Hi
I seem to get my bf not to ejaculate 2 days before 'The day!' and then try and do it every other day for a couple of days. I feel as though we arn't doing it enough though and if we did it a few times say morning and night it might work but with work and other commitments its very hard and tiring lol
My partner has low sperm count so thats the reason why we do it everyother day to make the numbers grow! But who knows whats right and wrong just go with the flow I say!
Good luck
Leanne x

 

[Lisa2701]

Hey honey,

I have been TTC almost 21 months so not far off you. I totally hear what you are saying....like you we were very enthusiastic in the beginning, but now we have a month of really trying and then have a month where we relax and its nore like ntnp.... it just gets too much sometimes and I have to do the whole stick you head in the sand and pretend its not happening thing.

This month we have had sex every second day (literally) and i've been using softcups and preseed and clearblue digi opk's so we've tried really hard this month. Got my smiley face this morning so . Also just bought a CBFM so will be using that next month too if we need it.

You do hear a lot of people saying they got their BFP the month where something happened and they only BD a couple of times so I don't know what to think about how often to DTD?

the way I see it, I've tried being relaxed about it, maybe the next few cycles I need to step it up a bit

 

[wonderstars]

I honestly think we should do it more often but we are hitting the main days so I dunno! We do it two days before usual smiley face, day of smiley and day after, one day break and one last go.

I dont know how the ladies do it who have it every day. I bow down to them, seriously.

 

[SpicyWolf]

Until this cycle we've pretty much been on the 'well you can't have too much sex' train and usually hit most of the 3 days before O and O day. But I read a blog where someone's relative said that the best way is to have your man save up for 4-5 days before (but not more!) and then BD the day before O, day of, and day after. It seems a bit counterintuitive but the theory is that the sperm will be really good quality. I don't know if it will work but since almost 2 years hasn't worked the other way I figured what the heck! I'm ovulating today and we're on schedule so hopefully this does the trick!

 

[honeybee2]

to be honest, people say that it will happen when you least expect it, or when its not a great time (3 months before wedding for example) or when your not thinking about it. Well this year it could have happened in all 3 of those situations- and it hasn't, which means we still have a serious problem really OR that its just not meant to happen yet. I do believe in fate!

 

[blueeyedgirl1]

We try to do the happy every other day or so, but not religiously as OH works hard and things can get in the way. Weirdly I've found that since I've stopped obsessing about my cycle (doing OPKs, etc), OH's been much more involved and interested in trying to stick to the every-other-day thing.

My doctor this morning told me to "just relax" (yea right!!!) and just "have a good bonk" (I SWEAR that's what he said, I'm deadly serious!!!!!) and it doesn't have to be every(other) day or during a certain time of the month, just when the mood takes us.

And you know what, I'm going to give it a go. How many women get pregnant by accident, having had one unprotected whoopee at a completely random time of the month? Plenty. So that's my approach...for now, anyway. Until I start panicking again.

 

[Lisa2701]

My doctor this morning told me to "just relax" (yea right!!!) and just "have a good bonk" (I SWEAR that's what he said, I'm deadly serious!!!!!)

Fantastic.... I LOVE it!

 

[blueeyedgirl1]

My doctor this morning told me to "just relax" (yea right!!!) and just "have a good bonk" (I SWEAR that's what he said, I'm deadly serious!!!!!)

Fantastic.... I LOVE it!

My face must have been a picture when he said that.

Oh, and he bet me £5 that I'd get pregnant within the next year. We shook on it, and everything...

 

[Lisa2701]

My doctor this morning told me to "just relax" (yea right!!!) and just "have a good bonk" (I SWEAR that's what he said, I'm deadly serious!!!!!)

Fantastic.... I LOVE it!

My face must have been a picture when he said that.

Oh, and he bet me £5 that I'd get pregnant within the next year. We shook on it, and everything...

sounds like you have a really nice doctor. ...hope you hold him to that

 

[blueeyedgirl1]

My doctor this morning told me to "just relax" (yea right!!!) and just "have a good bonk" (I SWEAR that's what he said, I'm deadly serious!!!!!)

Fantastic.... I LOVE it!

My face must have been a picture when he said that.

Oh, and he bet me £5 that I'd get pregnant within the next year. We shook on it, and everything...

sounds like you have a really nice doctor. ...hope you hold him to that

Well I most certainly will...but I don't think he's very nice at the moment as all he'll do is a CD3 blood panel and nothing else for another 12 months...and I think he needs to get his arse in gear and do a bit more investigating as I think my problems are immune-based. *sigh* But he was adamant that, if I just "relax" and "bonk" I'll be pregnant "in no time".

Urgh.

 

[Lisa2701]

My doctor this morning told me to "just relax" (yea right!!!) and just "have a good bonk" (I SWEAR that's what he said, I'm deadly serious!!!!!)

Fantastic.... I LOVE it!

My face must have been a picture when he said that.

Oh, and he bet me £5 that I'd get pregnant within the next year. We shook on it, and everything...

sounds like you have a really nice doctor. ...hope you hold him to that

Well I most certainly will...but I don't think he's very nice at the moment as all he'll do is a CD3 blood panel and nothing else for another 12 months...and I think he needs to get his arse in gear and do a bit more investigating as I think my problems are immune-based. *sigh* But he was adamant that, if I just "relax" and "bonk" I'll be pregnant "in no time".

Urgh.

Aww I am sorry to hear that. . I hope you get to the bottom of things honey. TTC is so frustrating. I have been ttc for 21 months now and have all the symptoms of PCOS but when I had the ultrasound to check for it they could only see one ovary which was fine so she has concluded that I don't have PCOS....which I don't understand as the ovary they couldn't see may be effected surely? Anyways....very frustrating. I hope you get your BFP VERY soon honey

 

[briggle]

well we do it usually just around ov. it's an absolute lie that men want sex more than women, i swear my oh is so lazy adn so lucky to have sex on demand. we do seem to get hornier around ov but times i have to practically seduce and guilt him into bed! we ealways enjoy it in the end but it's like swimming in the sea for him i sometimes think, you know really don't wanna get in but enjoy it after all ha ha. we used to do it alllll the time for the first few years of going out but i guess life, cups of tea and the telly take over the bedtime routine! i'm doing some serious ovulating now so hopefully i can coax him to bed tonight. wish me luck.

 

[babypink2010]

It is strange how i always get up for sex around ov He always kens lol I just hope i am doing enough,

I am thinking about soft cups but am not sure i would be able to use them,,,

 

[susan_1981]

I vary every month, depending on if I can be bothered to even have sex. We always get at least 1 day in around ovulation time. The month I did fall pregnant, almost 3 years ago now, we had sex for 5 days in a row, 1 before ovulation, 1 on ovulation day and then 3 days following. Fell pregnant but sadly miscarried. Didn't try this pattern again until the following December, a year later, and fell pregnant again (although did miss actual ovulation day)! Don't know why I don't try this pattern more often as it's obviously more effective than what we usually do. Problem is that our sex life has really suffered. Neither of us can be bothered any more and we know the only reason we're doing it is to have a baby. Not good!

 

[Lisa2701]

I am thinking about soft cups but am not sure i would be able to use them,,,

i used softcups for the first cycle this month and they are easier than they sound to use! I really like them

 

[readyformore]

I seem to have a different 'plan' for every month.

I've tried every 24, 36, and 48 hours. I've tried on top, on bottom, and from behind (at my doc's suggestion, lol).

I've tried holding off from about 4-5 days prior to ov, until the last day of ewcm. That's really hard to do, but I've tried it the last 3-4 cycles. It's easiest to know in retrospect which day will be the last, but in the moment, it's impossible to tell if you'll have one more day or if you're on the last day.

My plan now is IUI. I'm going to try to hold off for a few days prior to IUI, we'll see how that plan works out though. I'll try to hold off b/c I know that my DH's normal sperm count will tank with daily sex/insemination. So, no more than every other for us.

 

[llampie]

My DH and I usually DTD 3-4 times a week. Sure there are weeks where we only do it once but then there are others where it is every day. We just do it when we want to and are really conscious of making sure it does not turn into a chore. If one night either of us isn't feeling it then we don't do it just because "I could be ovulating" etc etc. We both truly enjoy sex and I would hate to get to the point where it seems mechanical.

 

[blueeyedgirl1]

Apparently we're (supposed to be) hormonally rigged to want sex more around the time of ovulation. A bit like species which come into oestrus (heat) only once a year/season/etc., biologically we're only really in with a chance at times like that, so our bodies should gear up to "wanting" sex more. Apparently we also secrete pheromones when we're ovulating which is supposed to make men more interested in us, sexually.

I don't really notice it with my OH but a previous boyfriend pretty much always knew where I was in my cycle. But he was also a pathelogical liar, so he was probably just looking at my charts (at the time I had a gynae interested in "natural healing" and he had me charting my period to get in touch with my body, etc, etc) and then lying and telling me has was all in tune with me and all that.