How old is too old?

[Sophia17]

My husband and I have been TTC now for about 3 years with no luck. Lately I have been wondering if given his age we should now stop trying. I am 37 and he is 54 and we have been together now for 13 years. He has two kids from a first marriage (who are now both in their mid twenties with kids of their own) and agreed to try with me as he knew how much it meant to me. My question is ... Is it fair to a child to have a father that age? My thought has always been you never know what life will bring as you could get hit by a bus tomorrow but wanted to get some of your opinions for or against. Thanks for your opinions in advance ladies!

 

[future_numan]

I personally don't see a problem with it but it's totally up to the two people invovled.. love doesn't know a age limit and if you DH is up to the challange of raising little ones again.. you go for it !!
Best of luck !!!

 

[NorthStar]

You should talk to a member called newlymarriedgal, her and her hsuband have similar age gap to you and they are expecting their first.

 

[readyformore]

Well, you can't really change your circumstances. You either have a baby when your DH is 54, or you don't have a child. I'm sure it would be more challenging for your DH. But, I can't image a person saying "Wow, my dad is so old that I wish I was never born!" KWIM? I just don't see that happening. Plus, as he is 'older' he's also probably more relaxed and able to see the benefit of spending time at home with his young child. Maybe he's even more financially stable, which could only benefit a child.

You're only 37, you are not too old. If you really want a child, then go for it. Noone should be denied the joys of motherhood. Although after 3 years of ttc, I'm sure you're probably ready to give up. That's a long time ttc a baby.

It's been 3 years? Has he had a semen analysis done?

 

[Storm1jet2]

Not too old - no way - as you say no one knows what is round the corner for them and you are only 37 - if its what you both I want I say carry on!

 

[Sophia17]

Well, you can't really change your circumstances. You either have a baby when your DH is 54, or you don't have a child. I'm sure it would be more challenging for your DH. But, I can't image a person saying "Wow, my dad is so old that I wish I was never born!" KWIM? I just don't see that happening. Plus, as he is 'older' he's also probably more relaxed and able to see the benefit of spending time at home with his young child. Maybe he's even more financially stable, which could only benefit a child.

You're only 37, you are not too old. If you really want a child, then go for it. Noone should be denied the joys of motherhood. Although after 3 years of ttc, I'm sure you're probably ready to give up. That's a long time ttc a baby.

It's been 3 years? Has he had a semen analysis done?

Yes he has and the issues appear to be me being very irregular. We started seeing a fertility specialist about 6 months ago to sort things out. The ups and downs of trying are hard but am holding on to hope. Thanks for the support.

 

[sammy1205]

First your not too old. Secondly I know lots of men that have becom fathers into their 60's. People live alot longer these days. I am a nurse and work mostly with geriatric patients, some of my 90 yr olds have more energy than me, have their wits about them and are 100% independant, even if your DH was 57 when a baby wa born, he will be 78 when the child is 21. It doesn;t seem like a biggie to me at all.

 

[Angelicdragon]

I am 47 and DH is 50. Any baby we had now would arrive with me at 48 and him at 51 going on 52 so no, we don't think it is too old. Depends on your health and lifestyle and we are both fit and healthy and feel younger than we are.
I went out with a guy years ago who had a little boy aged 3. The sad part was his wife was killed in a car accident when the baby was 3 weeks old and she was 21. So you never know. Live each day as you want to not how you think others say you should live it. your life you live it.

 

[Sophia17]

Thanks everyone! It's incredibly nice to hear from other women in the same types of situations!

 

[sarahincanada]

I dont think theres any problem with it....the baby will still have one younger parent and Im sure you will both keep DH young at heart!

someone once mentioned how I would be 50 when my baby is 12 (in a negative way), but the good thing is my hubby is 9 years younger than me so I just joked oh well they will have 1 younger parent. meanwhile I feel the same as I was in my 20's so Im sure when Im in my 50's I will feel like Im in my 40's. people have such weird viewpoints and judgements on age. I wish we could scrap ages and people see people for who they are and how they act.

 

[Milty]

I might be able to give you a different perspective on it as my parents were older to have me. Well at least my dad was. My dad as 45 and my mom was 39 when I was born. My parents had two older girls and then accidently had my next oldest sister. They didn't want her to grow up alone so they planned and had me. Well then 5 years later when my mom thought she was menopause age they had another "accident".

Anyway I love both my parents and feel like they did a great job rasing me. My dad retired at 50 so I pretty much got to have a stay at home dad which was really cool. When growing up it seemed to me my parents spent a lot more time with me than my firends parents did. I wouldn't have changed any of it.

However, I will say now is when I am actually feeling the drawbacks of it because there were none when I was young. My father never got to meet any of his last three girls kids. He died somewhat young at 65 which was 16 years ago. I also of course lost my grandparents when I was young as well. I can honestly say though that the only real negitive is you don't get as much time with your parents as others do. That does come to you when your an adult (hopefully) and more able to handle it.

I know my baby sis would say the same as me that we loved our dad and will always cherish our time we had.

 

[Silverlilly]

I'm turning 35 in two weeks and today a midwife told me this: "There also seems to be some sort of "stigma" I'm not sure this is quite the right word, surrounding pregnancy over 35. Dont worry. I have personally seen many many healthy pregnancies over 35 and well into the 40's. Although certain risks do increase slightly, the increase is actually extremely minimal. "

Also, it eases my mind to look at the website mothersover40 and look at celebrity moms