How selfish can he get?!?!

[LonelyAngelx]

My FOB has taken 2 weeks off work to help me out with my newborn son alfie and my 14 month old daughter lily, hes currently staying over (on the sofa) to help, but he hasnt got up for ONE night feed yet..!! im drained.. i havnt had ANY sleep and im up 2-3 hrs to feed alfie and up for an hour at a time ive mentioned this to him and his reply? ' well you wanted him so its your job' selfish right or is it just me? then he started going on about how its a womens job to feed there babys whilst the bloke goes to work... how sexist!?
i told him that that wasnt the ppoint and he turnt it all around on me.. saying i wanted alfie and he told me from the start having another baby wud be hard.. i knew that but i never exspected him to turn out like this towards me.. when i was pregnant with alfie i must have been around 7 weeks or less and FOB said that he didnt care about this baby and that if he cud go back in time hed have lily any day but wudnt wish for this baby... i look at alfie now and feel so quilty that his dad secretly resents him although he says he loves him i think he doesnt.. i cried my eyes out earlier and he asked why i was crying.. :/ i feel so drained and tired and generally fed up... i feel like a bad mum cos i cant cope.. and its not even my fault :'( :'(
what do i do? x

 

[RobotGirl]

First off, congrats momma
[QUOTEI'm so sorry you're going through this right now. I've been there. After my daughter was born my husband didn't really wanna help with her at night. He even started yelling at her and calling her names so that's when I kicked him out.
I'm dutr that your SO does love him, even if he doesn't want him. He simply needs to get it through his head that making babies takes two. Have you tried pointing this out to him?
I'm here to give support anytime hun.
=LonelyAngelx;13041824]My FOB has taken 2 weeks off work to help me out with my newborn son alfie and my 14 month old daughter lily, hes currently staying over (on the sofa) to help, but he hasnt got up for ONE night feed yet..!! im drained.. i havnt had ANY sleep and im up 2-3 hrs to feed alfie and up for an hour at a time ive mentioned this to him and his reply? ' well you wanted him so its your job' selfish right or is it just me? then he started going on about how its a womens job to feed there babys whilst the bloke goes to work... how sexist!?
i told him that that wasnt the ppoint and he turnt it all around on me.. saying i wanted alfie and he told me from the start having another baby wud be hard.. i knew that but i never exspected him to turn out like this towards me.. when i was pregnant with alfie i must have been around 7 weeks or less and FOB said that he didnt care about this baby and that if he cud go back in time hed have lily any day but wudnt wish for this baby... i look at alfie now and feel so quilty that his dad secretly resents him although he says he loves him i think he doesnt.. i cried my eyes out earlier and he asked why i was crying.. :/ i feel so drained and tired and generally fed up... i feel like a bad mum cos i cant cope.. and its not even my fault :'( :'(
what do i do? x [/QUOTE]

 

[LonelyAngelx]

Yup he knows ive told him having alfie wasnt all down to me.. keeping him was my choice yeah but i didnt make him myself ! ive been up all night crying .. wondering what e
the hell im gonna do.. this is so unfair i feel under loads of pressure.. cos its me whos doin al the work anyway.. he sits on my sofa and. plays on his phone whilst i feed and change BOTH our kids and tidy the house! :l not sure how much i can take..

 

[cluelessnow]

Why do some men do that? I don't understand. They're like children. They have to make you feel bad about a choice that is yours to have. I had the same thing happen. My ex didn't want bubs (I'm 23 weeks) and even when things have been amicable, a few times when we argued, he'd come out with 'I told it would be hard four months ago didn't I?' as if we deserve the hardship for choosing to keep the baby. Hugs to you

 

[Snowball]

God I hate some men

FOB went away on holiday with his works (the very reason he left was to put that job first) and left me in the middle of the summer holidays with all the kids off school, when Louie was 4 days old. Since then he's called the shots about when he's coming and if I complain then that's MY problem. Then I tell him not to come because I'm sick of it and he ignores me and turns up regardless. Bloody drives me insane.

I mean honestly, do these kind of men take a massive knock to the head at some point and turn into such arses? Or is it genetically breed into them? (I hope not because I'm going to go out of my way to make sure my kids have a million times better morals than FOB has).

If I were you I'd tell him outright hun. I know it's difficult though to be strong, especially when you are snowed under a pile of hormones and housework. I'm still trying to find my pedestal 50 feet above my ex and stay there

Rant over

 

[meee]

yeah, when i found out i was pregnant to my now ex he said i should get rid of it and i was selish for bringing up a baby without a father and that i would never find a boyfriend with baby in toe, i told him im not that shallow to give up my own baby for a man...

 

[Paton]

My FOB has taken 2 weeks off work to help me out with my newborn son alfie and my 14 month old daughter lily, hes currently staying over (on the sofa) to help, but he hasnt got up for ONE night feed yet..!! im drained.. i havnt had ANY sleep and im up 2-3 hrs to feed alfie and up for an hour at a time ive mentioned this to him and his reply? ' well you wanted him so its your job' selfish right or is it just me? then he started going on about how its a womens job to feed there babys whilst the bloke goes to work... how sexist!?
i told him that that wasnt the ppoint and he turnt it all around on me.. saying i wanted alfie and he told me from the start having another baby wud be hard.. i knew that but i never exspected him to turn out like this towards me.. when i was pregnant with alfie i must have been around 7 weeks or less and FOB said that he didnt care about this baby and that if he cud go back in time hed have lily any day but wudnt wish for this baby... i look at alfie now and feel so quilty that his dad secretly resents him although he says he loves him i think he doesnt.. i cried my eyes out earlier and he asked why i was crying.. :/ i feel so drained and tired and generally fed up... i feel like a bad mum cos i cant cope.. and its not even my fault :'( :'(
what do i do? x

Ok, this may be a really silly question and i don't want to sound rude or harsh but, if he's not helping, and you're not with him anymore, then why is he still there? I think I would have thrown him out straight after the "you wanted him so it's your job" comment. Seems like all he is doing is causing you more stress that you really don't need right now.

xxx

 

[Agiboma]

Congrats momma on your LO. In regards to FOB what an ARSE omg why are some men so cold and inconsiderate. Im in a similar situation and i could have written this pist myself. My heart goes out to you and your LO's

 

[Laura2919]

Tell him to go.. Honestly, if he isnt helping you and your doing it on your own dont put up with him sleeping on your sofa.
He needs a good kick up the backside.