how the hell do you cope?

[Balloo]

I am so very new to this. Two weeks ago my partner of three years told me he was inlove with someone else. I am just beginning to discover the depth of his lies. He has been telling mw hes been working away as extra money for us; so we could go on holiday next year, get engaged and just generally make our family life better. I have been driven to severe exhaustion looking after our daughter and working at the same time. All the time he has been screwing a woman 5 minutes up the road. He has had virtually nothing to do with our daughter for months, making me even more ill. I knew he was cheating but he kept lying and saying he only loved and wanted me. Our daughter is two. This woman knew nothing about me or our two year old. The man I loved is not there anymore bur I an so scared for the future. I have done the sensible things and applied for benefits and social housing, but I am struggling majorly with the enprional side of things. I hate the fact that he is off, happy with someone else while I am alone and hurt and scared. Everyone keeps saying how strong I am but I feel so weak. I cant eat, I cant sleep and I cant help thinking I'm never gonna get through this. How do you ever learn to trust anyone again? He wants to be involved in my daughters life bur I just don't trust him. How do you all cope? I'm so scared

 

[baileybubs]

First of all Hun, big big hugs. I'm so sorry for what you have been through. My ex left me 5 weeks ago after telling me he didn't love me anymore. I was devestated but we had been struggling as well. He immediately started dating an 18 year old so I'm certain he left me for her and don't even know if he cheated.
All I can say is that it gets easier. Some days are bad days and others are good. After a while you'll start to notice the good happen more often than the bad.

I know a lot of people will say you and your baby are better off without him, which is true but sometimes that thought doesn't make it any easier. And it doesn't make it seem any fairer that you have been left with all the child care whilst he's been busy with another woman (he's a complete and utter ass by the way!!). My advice is to just take each day at a time, maybe set yourself some goals and most importantly get a good support network.
I started to feel really alone at first so I have made the decision to move back to my hometown to be nearer my family. I also got my hair cut short (cliche I know!), and made plans for mine and my kids future.

Cry if you need to, but make sure it doesn't consume you. Just keep focused on your baby girl and let her help you heal. Today I found myself belly laughing at my daughter and realised how we'd had such a good day just the three of us and that we didn't miss my stupid ex being there at all.

Oh and one last thing, try and have as minimal contact with him as you can. I kept my ex on Facebook for a while and just ended up keep upsetting myself when he was posting things about going out for a meal or out having a drink whilst I was at home looking after his children all alone. And be nice to him too, well civil, coz it will piss him off if he thinks you are happy without him lol!

Big big hugs xxxx